Days passed since Luke's birthday, we hung out almost every day, at least Alex and I. I noticed that his sudden interest in Leela wasn't just a secondary effect of alcohol, it was real, and I started to worry. Alex just got out of a very, very intense relationship, and he didn't give himself time to process it, let alone mourn it.

Those type of relationships don't end in a heartbeat, and I didn't want Leela to become some sort of rebound to it. Also, he had a history of not being able to control his impulses, Leela herself was a witness of it, at the Halloween party. As a friend of Alex, I would have told him "go ahead, she's worth it!" But, as a friend of Leela, I would've told her "no way, he's bad news", and I would've been right on both.

Against my better judgment, I pinned my faith on him and started working on finding out what Leela thought of him. I spent two entire days in her house trying to drive the conversation to him, to get her to reveal if she at least found him attractive. After many failed attempts, I decided to break the rules and be straight forward. Anyway, Alex didn't have to know my methods, only the results.

"Alex told me the other day you were pretty" I spat out.

Leela, who was stirring a pot with pasta, suddenly stopped moving her hand and turned to me with the most confused expression, "what?"

I laughed nervously, "Yes, after Luke's birthday. I wasn't going to tell you because I thought he was just drunk, but he still says it." She looked even more confused.

"But why?" now I was confused.

"Why?" we looked at each other knowing our conversation wasn't making any sense at this point.

I struggled to continue the conversation as Leela finally decided to take a seat. She held her face with her hands in slight frustration, as if she was trying hard to make sense of the world right now. Finally, she sighed and spoke.

"I always said Alex was cute, you know that" she mentioned, but not really sure of the point she was trying to make.

"I do" I replied.

"I just don't know why now?" I guess that's what everything was about. Why now? Why not before? But I was still confused, did that mean that she liked him all along? Or was she just annoyed with his impulsive way of acting. After thinking about it, she decided to joke. "I've always been pretty."

I laughed at her comment, and agreed to it on a hundred percent. I breathed in deeply before I started talking again, for it was time to get honest.

"I don't trust him, though. Remember Halloween."

"I know," she said, "and he intimidates me a little too. He's so intense, I'm nothing like that. We're too different."

"But you still like him, don't you?" I raised my eyebrow as a little cheeky smile started to form in her face.

She looked up to me, "he's cute."

We went on with our day talking about anything else, we had lunch and then I went home. I let Alex know he had a green light but he had to go slow, and I still had my reservations about the nature of his intentions. Leela was special.

The truth is, she was indeed very pretty, her skin was pale and she had freckles, and she had dyed her hair bright red which looked absolutely natural on her. But, besides that, she was the kindest human I had ever met, I truly believed she had no malice in her soul, she didn't know what that was. And, like me, she was a hopeless romantic. That's how we bonded in the first place, our love for Pride and Prejudice and Taylor Swift songs that talk about those loves that make a golden mark on you. She also listened carefully whenever I spoke about astrology, like she was really interested in knowing what I knew. She was also a dancer so Darcy and I never missed a show because she was like our baby. I believe she's the whole group's baby, I've always said that if something were to happen to her, we would all form a human shield around her. That is one idea that we all agree on.

The risks of Leela and Alex dating were such, it actually worried me enough to forget my own problems for a few days. Alex was a good man but he didn't know what he wanted, and he also didn't know how to be alone. You must understand my concern about exposing Leela to a relationship of that sort. His separation with Nicole was too recent, loud and painful, no one in their right mind would have moved on so fast, but Alex was on a race against grief. Under no circumstances would he sit down and be sad. And I was extremely concerned about that, not only because it was hurting him, but because it had the potential to hurt Leela too.

Eventually, after talking deeply about it and making sure there was no malice in his intentions, Alex and I made a deal: I would sell him out to Leela and he would sell me out to Luke.

We started hanging out and he would help me pick my outfits. "How do my tits look?" I asked with every shirt I tried on. "Amazing", he replied with thumbs up.

"After tonight, offer to take her home again" was my advice every night we had dinner at Charlie's place.

Alex was very passionate, impulsive, and very sexual, so I had to teach him how to be romantic. He couldn't just take her home and be nasty, he had to win her over slowly. On the contrary, I had to be more active in order to get Luke because he wasn't one to take control of the situation, and someone had to.

"You should just flirt with him, make him nervous" Alex advised.

The whole summer I wore denim shorts and crop tops, let my hair down and danced barefoot in the living room of Charlie's house. I looked at Luke and smiled whenever he looked at me, I could see him get shy. I leant in too close every time I wanted to whisper something in his ear and he was stiff. I started having fun playing that game, making him nervous and testing how far I could go but not making it obvious. I was making him doubt everything, was I really flirting or just playing? Was he imagining it all? It was fun indeed.

One night we were hanging out, as always, in Charlie's place, but Oliver didn't come.

"You missed on a lot of stuff, pal" Leela told Luke as we were joking about all the things that happened in the group without him knowing because he never asks.

"That's because you're never here" Darcy added.

"Well, I'm here now, tell me" he said, annoyed.

"Darcy and I made out" I said.

"What? You?" he pointed a finger at me, confused. We both laughed loudly. "Yes, me" I confirmed.

"And she also made out with Oliver!" I added. Darcy punched my arm immediately as she chuckled, "Dude!" she complained.

"Wait, what?" Luke was even more confused now. "When?" he asked.

"Last year" Darcy told him.

I crawled to him on the floor and leaned into his ear to whisper very loudly so everyone could hear, "yeah, he's very slutty apparently. He grabbed her neck" I told him, he turned his face away from mine and I smiled, content.

"Come on", he complained.

I giggled and continued to torment him, "yeah, he also grabbed her ass like really tight and..." he interrupted.

"No, man" he laughed, disgusted at the excess of information. Everyone else was crumbling in their seats at me being an asshole. Darcy was hiding her face in the cushions of the couch.

"You didn't have to tell him all that!"

I went back to my place, "hey, he said he wanted to know!"

Many nights like that one went by, Alex and I's plan was moving slowly, but moving. He and Leela had been talking over the phone a lot, and I was closer to Luke but not enough.

The days passed including many special events, my brother's birthday on February 12th, and I adopted a second cat. A black cat named Kyro that the whole group quickly adopted as a nephew. And he had chosen Charlie as his favorite uncle.

One thing started to bother me; remember how I said that Darcy was extremely social and never had trouble starting conversations? Well, she was starting a lot of conversations with Luke, which would've been fine if not for the fact I go through an odyssey every time I try to reach out for him. I felt so jealous and I couldn't hide it. Darcy noticed how my face changed every time she mentioned talking to him, or whenever I talked about something he had told me and she already knew. My blood boiled. My eyes deceived me.

But a special date was approaching: Valentine's Day.

Since we were all single we decided to play 'secret friend' and give each other sweets. We wrote our names in paper, put them in a bag, and each of us grabbed one. I got Charlie so, as soon as I got the name, started crafting a card to give him. Eventually I drew him that card from The Simpsons, the one about the train.

'I choo-choo-choose you!' that one. I was very happy with my choice of art.

On the 14th of February we went to Charlie's place but didn't give each other the gifts because Sadie, our other friend who sometimes hung out with us and we included in the game, was out of town. So, I was there watching a movie alone while Alex and Leela were lying together, and Darcy and Oliver shared the couch. Charlie on the other hand, had been kissing a bottle of vodka for hours. We watched Superbad and drank black beer, Luke didn't come.

The next day Sadie was in town so we rushed to gather everyone so we could give each other the gifts, although we were slightly more excited about receiving them. I was in my bedroom getting ready, I wore a skirt and did my makeup nice, and I was waiting for Leela to come pick me up, the boys were already at Charlie's place.

I was applying mascara to my eyelashes when I heard my phone, I crawled on the floor to the place where I was charging it and picked it up. My heart stopped for a second when I read a text from Alex.

"hey, im about to sell you out

done

the target has been made aware

says he's 'surprised'"

I started feeling dizzy, not joking, and with my little strength left I typed a "WHAT" in all caps. He explained that he sold me out the way I did it with him, since it worked for him. I was feeling nauseous, I felt like I had to walk into school after peeing my pants in front of the whole class. Embarrassing.

Right when I was in the middle of a crisis, Leela arrived. I told her everything and she said that Alex was an idiot, she tried to comfort me as I tried to take deep breaths of courage to start walking to Charlie's house. When we got there I felt observed, like everyone could see me naked, weird. I tried talking to Luke and he was acting more awkward than usual, I felt my chest sink. He hated it, I thought, I should've known.

I remained silent as I was trying to make myself comfortable with the situation, trying to accept the imminent rejection. It was time for the presents.

"Let's put all the backpacks in the bedroom," I said, "and walk in one by one to put our present inside each backpack."

We all walked inside in turns, the excitement made me forget about the previous situation. I went in last. When I opened my backpack I already had my present inside, a small paper was stuck to it with 'Ava' poorly handwritten on it, I smiled. I put Charlie's present in his backpack and walked out enthusiastically to let everyone know they could come in to retrieve their gifts. Charlie's face lit up when he saw the card I drew for him next to all the candy and donuts I bought for him the other day, the girls and I went shopping the day before to buy the candy for the boys and bags that matched their personalities. The bag a picked for Charlie was a map of the world, and he absolutely loved it. I grabbed the plastic bag that had my name on it and found a ton of white chocolate and two beer cans, the brand I liked. I was biting my ears.

Everybody was laughing, exchanging candy and figuring out who their secret friend was, I was sitting in the couch alone waiting for someone to say "hey, it was me!", but no one did. Alex looked over to me and asked.

"Who's your secret friend?" I shrugged my shoulders.

"I don't know", I said. Oliver and Leela were each other's secret friend; Alex and Sadie were also each other's. Charlie was Darcy's, and Darcy was Luke's. There was only one option left.

"So, who's Ava's?" Alex yelled into the room. Luke quietly raised his hand without removing his eyes from his own bag. I felt bad.

"Thank you" I muttered softly, almost frightened to speak too loudly, but he didn't hear me. He didn't even look at me.

That night I went home with a feeling that everything was over. I got him to open up to me and say he loved me, only to ruin it later. It wasn't really my fault but it was going to happen one way or another, someday.

Maybe it was for the best.