GUYS

A TEACHER AT MY SCHOOL BITCHSLAPPED A KID AND WAS ALSO RACIST

HE JUST GOT FIRED

LMFAOOOO

~

The wind rushed past Gem, shoving her brilliant orange hair backwards. The flowers on her horns cling to the bone, holding on for dear life. Her elytra was flared out as she landed on the ground.

Wait.

What was that?

"..... why is my lighthouse being.. uh..  eaten?"

She flicked a deer ear, confused as hell while walking around her large lighthouse before finding the culprit.

A snail. 

Hmmm.

She smirked, glancing at Grian's house. The pesky bird himself was flying over, noticing her noticing the strange snail.

"Why hello Gem, whatcha got there?"

"Hello Grian. It's a mollusk I've found."

Grian scratched his chin, looking up at the snail, who sits peacefully in it's little divot of Gem's Lighthouse.

"Interesting."

"Very interesting."

Gem flys up to the ledge, soon joined by Grian. The snail was not just peaceful and mischievous, but also very pretty.

"Where did you even find one of these guys??"

"He found me!"

There was a pause and Grian sat down, patting the snail's head.

"How do I get one..?"

"...  it will find you."

And then Grian disappeared, off away somewhere, leaving behind a grumpy snail. Gem sighed and got to work rebuilding the Lighthouse, confused and intrigued by the encounter.

~

It was a few more days before another snail appeared. This one was a light, pastel pink with a long neck that looking curiously at Gem. She ended up befriending it, meeting with Grian to discuss.

"I see you have yourself a mollusk."

"That I do."

"Interesting.."

So, they left the two chaotic snails, waiting to see what mischief they'd end up in this time. Every  hour or two, Grian & Gem would give each other knowing glances as a large figure rose in the distance. 

Interesting.

When the figure seemed completed, they met up for a final time to check it out. Apparently, the two snails had built a larger snail.

"ohmygod, it's Larry!!"

Grian flew towards the brown shell, hand in Gem's. The air was cheerful with childish joy as they explored the new building- Larry's shell and face, even his antenna were perfect. It was a pretty good mockery. Scar would get a kick out of this, for sure!

"They're very good builders,"

Grian silently nods. They're on the ground now, a calm mist of chaotic joy replacing the childish type from earlier. 

"Well. This has been interesting."

"Very interesting, yes."

And so, they left the mollusks. 'Till next time.

~

The next time was pretty soon. Gem noticed it first, the change in the distant outline. She landed at Grian's base, finding the pesky avian pretty quickly. 

"Did you see it?"

"It?"

Gem pointed to the outline. Grian made a 'hm' sound.

"Interesting. Very interesting."

A single glance between the two and they were off on horseback, cantering in a fast pace to reach what ended up being.. a cage.

Interesting. 

A cage holding Larry.

Huh???

"Wha- who- did Scar jail the snails??"

Scar set down behind them, flaring his elytra.

"I did, in fact, jail these dangerous crustaceans."

Gem and Grian spun around, finding Scar in his short-shorts and tipped hat. He caged the snails! 

"They are, in fact, not 'dangerous crustaceans'. They are pesky mollusks!"

"Pesky mollusks you caged unfairly!"

Scar gasped, clutching his chest.

"It was not unfair, they are dangerous crustaceans or mollusks or whatever!"

The squabble went on for a few more minutes before Grian and Gem rode away dramatically. They were not pleased.

~

Gem & Grian waited about a month before visiting the snails again. They'd been freed, and Larry had been to- or, at least, tons of Larrys.

"Jesus christ, that's a lot of snails."

Both looked at the busted bamboo cages, with tons of snails streaming out in muddy colors. Grian adjusted his wings, glancing at Gem.

"I did not know Larry could.. duplicate? Split? Whatever's happened here."

"Pesky mollusks can do anything, it appears."

The conversation was left at that.

~

"SCAR!"

Grian was staring, wide-eyed at the pan. 'Escargot' was painted hastily on a sign that dangled from the pan. He blinked, wings half flared as the crackle of the fires roared.

"How dare he! Roasting the snails! What a crazy man!"

Gem's reaction was similar, but more sympathetic- "nooo the snails :(" was included.

Then, the snails disappeared again.

~

A boom was what caught Gem & Grian's attention this time. The ore mountain was partially exploded by a helicopter. A helicopter. What??

"What was that?"

"Pesky mollusks?"

".... oh, it's the pesky mollusks."

They both flew over, fondly grinning before landing on the helicopter. There they were, two snails, tall and proud in a hollowed-out section of the mountain.

"Oh my."

"Agreed. Did they mine this out?"

There was a silence. Both of them studied the cave before determining that yes, they did.

"Interesting."

"Very interesting."

~

The helicopter was gone. Weird- Interesting. Very interesting. Grian glided up there, finding Gem with a perplexed look on her face.

"So, the snails have made their getaway."

"Pesky mollusks,"

She jokes. They laugh for a moment before noticing a sign. It declares the new location of the snails; BIG RON'S.

"Oh, so they've moved.. isn't that Mumbo's weird shop.. multi-personality thing?"

"Oh, yeah!"

Gem grinned at Grian, and Grian grinned back. Off they go, again!

Big Ron's was very pretty, with its faded red bricks and torn posters. Grian reads off the sign slowly, and they both enter to find the snails, selling tons of diamonds.

Scar's diamonds.

"Oh- so that's where those went. Ha!"

Gem and Grian messed around with the shop, spending diamonds and finding the large helicopter. 

And so, the chapter of the pesky mollusks came to an end.

Interesting, wasn't it?

Very interesting.

~

lol i binged a horror analog while doing this

opinions?