t h i r t y - s i x

Trigger Warning: Mentions of Bullying.
I do not acknowledge such an act.

For the nth time in his life, he wanted to punch someone again.

The cold April breeze danced with the trees, splashes of orange and yellow scattered throughout the sky, every muscle within him clenched as he stood frozen in his tracks. Eyes squinting as he looks at the older one standing in front of him, "Hyung, how many times do I have to repeat myself about this matter?"

Sighing out the last amount of frustration he had left inside of him, he turns around in an attempt to leave. Yet, before he could even take another step forward, he was enveloped in a warm and tight embrace.

Oh how much he misses this hug.

"I'm sorry," Coming out as merely a whisper, Jaehyun tightens his grip around the younger one's small waist. Stopping himself from shedding tears, because he knows too well that he doesn't deserve to cry even a droplet of tear.

"I just... I just don't get it, Hyung. We were good friends back then, where did all go wrong?" Voice softening due to being tired of asking the same question over and over again. He just needed an answer, the answer that'll clear up his mind. The answer that'll maybe, just maybe, fix all that had been broken.

"I..." Was all Jaehyun muttered out, he couldn't even explain himself. Afraid that Beomgyu might see him as a pathetic, and dumb guy.

"Jae Jae..."

By hearing that nickname that he hadn't heard for years, his body stiffens. Slowly letting go of the little one, failing to stop the tears from falling.

In his first year in middle school, Jaehyun would describe it as lonely and sad. He had no friends to hang out with, crushes to stare at, and after school clubs that were fun. It was all just a boring year of getting through the day in school.

That was until he met Beomgyu.

Being the same like him, Beomgyu was quiet too. He didn't like talking to people unless it was needed, nor did he even planned to befriend anyone. For him, being alone wasn't even that bad. You get all the peace and space you want.

And that's what attracted Jaehyun.

As time passes by, they became closer and closer with each other. They started to eat lunch together, take the bus home together, go to that one arcade together, anything that best friends do. 

But to Jaehyun, the little one was more than just a best friend.

Through the storms that passed by his journey, Beomgyu was there with him to face those problems together. Every time he'd cry, Beomgyu was there to wipe away all his tears. When he's having a break down, Beomgyu was there to lift him up. Everyone left him, but Beomgyu never did. Not even once, nor did he ever think of leaving his side.

Him and Beomgyu were inseparable, he even planned to confess to the little one with that tiny glimpse of hope that the other might just feel the same way towards him. That Beomgyu likes him too.

"Jae Jae?" Called the little one.

Oh god, how much he loved it whenever he'd call him that.

Almost the entirety of the school liked Beomgyu, not only was he pretty, but he was also kind and smart. Surely, anyone would fall in love with him. Receiving lots and lots of confessions each day, yet the same response was given to each one of them.

"I'm sorry, I appreciate that you like me, but I don't really feel the same way."

Rejected. All of them were rejected.

That's what scared Jaehyun the most, being rejected. He couldn't handle the thought of being rejected by someone he really likes, not ever.

"You see that boy over there? Pathetic," Someone said to Jaehyun as he breathes out that gray smoke out of his pink lips. "Everyone likes him, but I don't even know what's there to like about him," Continued the boy. Eyebrows being knitted together.

"Beomgyu has everything there is to like about someone, you're just blind to not see that," Jaehyun hissed.

"Really now?" The boy smirked as he held that cancer stick in between his long fingers. Disbelief written all over his face, hard biceps pressed against the wall as he leans on it.

"So, you like him?"

"And so what if I do?" Jaehyun spats. Arms crossed over his chest.

The boy shakes his head as a small laugh escapes his pink lips, "Pathetic of you to like someone who will obviously reject you that moment you confess."

Shoulders dropping, Jaehyun's face softens, "W-what? How can you even be sure about that?"

Shrugging, the boy looks at him as he inhales the smoke coming from the stick that was pressed in between his well shaped lips, "And how can you be so sure that he won't?"

Deafening silence enveloped the thin air, the smoke emitted by the cancerous stick flying through the air causing Jaehyun to cough a little, "Well... what should I do then?"

As if the question was able to excite the other boy, his eyes lit up and he smiles so widely, "Bully him."

"Wait, what? Bully him? Why would I even do that?!" Shocked by the unexpected response, Jaehyun grimaced. He could never imagine himself hurting the little one with his own hands, and spitting hurtful things across his pretty face.

"You really are dumb," The boy sighed. "Bully him to make him obey you, idiot. If you'll be able to make him scared of you then poof!" He raises his hands in the air, "He'll do whatever you say. Now, isn't that an advantage?" He chuckled as he pressed the stick in between his lips again.

Thinking for a moment, Jaehyun nods. A cheeky grin escaping his lips as he looks at the little one who was currently playing with a puppy beside the tree. The way he smiled, his eyes glistening in bliss, and his pretty little laugh that was so addicting to hear ; Jaehyun was blinded. He was blinded by the thought of having him all to himself that he was able to throw away every single thing they shared together.

Be it their friendship, trust, and comforts.

Jaehyun was brought back to his senses when he felt a warm hand touch his cheek, he quickly grabs hold of it and looks at the little one. Just then did he realized that he was already crying, and that Beomgyu was wiping them away.

Just like before.

"I-I'm sorry... I should have never listened to them, I should have never done those things to you. I'm s-sorry, Beom. I'm really so- " Before he could even hiccup out another trail of words, Beomgyu engulfs him in a warm embrace.

"I know, I know you'd never do those without a reason. I forgive you, okay? Since the very moment you started to drift away from me, I already forgave you," Whispered the little one, his hands caressing the older one's back.

"I'm sorry, Beom. I'm sorry," Mumbled Jaehyun.

As the creaking sound of the swings echoed through their ears, the gentle blow of the wind brushes through Jaehyun's hair, he could feel himself slowly drowning into the little one's embrace. The hug that he missed the most, the hug that he needed the most, the hug that he loves the most. It was one of the things that could calm the ocean roars splashing in his broken heart, Beomgyu was his safe place.

Looking up, he saw Yuta from afar, wearing a smile of relief.

Without even realizing it, Jaehyun smiles as he saw the way he smiled.

Finally.

After years of being caged inside his thoughts of having the little one, he's finally free. Ready to start a new chapter of his life's book.

scent.