i fall into pieces
when i'm with you
E D E N RAN HER FINGERS ACROSS THE PAGE, FEELING THE dents where Jacob; the werewolf she had slowly learned to love, the werewolf who had broken her heart, pressed the pencil so hard that it had broken through. They had broken each other, and she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do. Her body yearned to be near him, to feel his hands lay upon hers but what was the proper etiquette when your soulmate wants you stay with him whilst your own cousin goes suicidal, and then threatens to end your 'situationship' with him. Should she forgive him? For ending things, then begging for her once she returned from Italy, and sending her letters- so many letters filled with love and sorrowful words it broke her.
Tears slowly poured as she pictured him in her mind writing the many letters he had sent her, scrawling the many paragraphs that beg for forgiveness in his rough handwriting. His thick eyebrows furrowed in concentration and his beautiful lips pursed together in frustration, for not knowing how to explain his love for her. She wasn't sure why she was ignoring him, or if the pain was worth it, but she felt anger whenever she thought about him 'breaking up' with her. Her leaving was justifiable- at least she hoped it was.
You don't understand Eden, guilt and pain is taking over me every single second, you are my imprint, without you I am nothing-
Eden was sad- no heartbroken even, she missed Jacob and she definitely knew Jacob misses her from all the messages and letters he had sent her. But, he was the one who wanted to end things, despite her fighting for their relationship. And now he wants her back? To her, that's not right. She had told him they shouldn't end their relationship over Bella and the Cullens, but that's what he wanted. She doesn't want to run back to him, despite every bit over her body and mind telling her to. And, she couldn't see him while the image of Demetri haunts her. Every night, she wakes up in the middle of the night. Frozen in fear at the hiding that he's watching her and coming back. She had reminded him of her presence, a mistake that will continue to haunt her.
The one thing that had kept her sane without her soulmate was the scent of him from the letters. She had no idea how he was holding up without anything to smell or remember her by. She was barely holding by, and the Cullen's knew. Somehow, the people who had locked her up and kept her caged were treating her so well. She guessed that they realised whatever Demetri told them were lies and now they were treating her like she's one of them, or maybe it was the pity they felt towards her. Alice was especially being so nice, she had somehow convinced Jasper to sneak Jacob's letters. The were-coyote believed that the only reason Alice was being considerately nice compared to the others is because she reminds the petite vampire of herself, with her past and history of being locked up.
Somehow, Edward must be feeling pity because Eden knew the letters couldn't have gotten past him, but still he kept his silence. He hadn't been treating her like how he used to, it wasn't the same as when they were kids but at least now he wasn't being rude. It hurt when the one person who protected you when you were younger became someone you feared, but at least now he was just ignoring her. It made things better.
Eden had matured a lot during the past few months, at least she likes to think she had. She would've ruined everything in her sight, and ran away, but now she's forcing herself stay. To face the consequences. Eden stared at the wrinkled paper, rereading the words once again for the sixth time. Her heart was beating rapidly. She clenched her eyes, hoping the tears won't fall out and slowly drop into the paper, ruining it. Like the other past letters she had hidden in her top draw; crinkled and stained with tears.
I feel so terrible, ashamed with myself even, knowing that I broke what we have for no reason. We knew each other for a short time, but I love you Eden. I'm sorry for breaking us apart. Please forgive me.
Eden didn't know how to feel anymore, all she felt was emptiness now- nothing. She could recall the moment how she felt when it had all started, when Jacob was still in love with Bella- which was very short lived. She had felt pure jealousy, she could also recall how she felt after she left him and taken his heart with her; heartbroken, and finally she could still recall what she's felt for the past year; nothing. Just nothing at all, until all her emotions pour out when she reads his letters. Who knew a guy like Jacob could write heartbreaking letters that send Eden into an emotional wreck.
Eden wished to return to him but she didn't know if she should. What Jacob didn't know was that he wasn't the only one who felt pain after being away from his imprint for so long- or at least that's what Eden had thought. Everyday she could feel this terrible aching pain in her heart, it felt like someone had gotten a knife and slowly slid it down through her heart. She doesn't know if she's being stupid, Demetri may not return and she was still mad at him. As much as likes to believe that she's matured, maybe she hasn't. Ignoring Jacob's letters is proof to that.
Eden, I am begging you, forgive me please, come back to me. I miss you, I miss your gorgeous smile, I miss your beautiful eyes, I miss your sassy comebacks, I miss your soothing, beautiful voice, I miss that your so protective of your loved ones, I miss that feeling in my stomach when I see you, the one where I feel butterflies and fireworks feeling whenever we touch. I just miss you so fucking much Eden and I am breaking apart. I love you, and without you I am nothing. I've never felt pain like this, a constant reminder of what I've lost.
Despite her efforts, Eden can feel tears sliding down her cheeks, she can feel so much pain that it caused her to take large gasps of air. She felt so much pain that it caused her to clench the letter so hard that it ripped, so much pain that she couldn't keep the cries quiet anymore and let out a moan as she slid down the wall. They were pathetic. Eden could easily run out and go into his arms, but she was stupid and she knew it.
I'm sorry that the letter had to end like that, I am also sorry for all the pain I have caused you to feel Eden, I just love you, I know i'm repeating myself but i'm just in so much pain without you, so much damn pain. Please come back to me, i miss you.
As always, Jacob.
Jacob had caused her so much pain that she doesn't know who Eden Cullen is anymore. So much pain that she didn't even notice her cries of heartbreak had gotten louder and so much tears had poured out that she was struggling to breathe. Alice had ran into the room and held her tight, rocking her back and forth whispering that it'll be alright, Demetri has caused her so much pain that she doesn't notice a figure similar to Edward, standing next to the door looking at her with a sorrow look on his face, his legs twitching as if they were begging to run to Eden.
———
Well that was quite depressing .... damn. LMAO. Eden is clearly going through shit after seeing Demetri once again... did y'all catch on me replacing jacob's name with demetrius..? inch resting. and i know i keep saying longer chapters will be coming :( i'm so sorry. i know wattpad keeps giving out those annoying ads, but if it helps, you can always put the book in the offline section and turn off ur wifi and read it ! no ads will come :D
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Question of the day:
What was the first book you read on here about lol