I wake up completely disoriented.

"Finally, you're awake." I jump, finding Ella propped up in bed beside me. I'm at home.

"How... how long have you been here?" I ask, trying to find my phone.

"Well, it's currently three in the afternoon so 14, maybe 15 hours. You snore by the way." I finally notice she's wearing one of Sage's shirts and her hair's still somehow decent looking. Lucky brat.

I yawn and try to rearrange myself on the bed but instead scream at the pain I'm met with. Ella gets up, handing me a glass of water and a few more pills, pausing before I throw them in my mouth I notice a pink pill.

A daunting thought appears in my mind. Oh, she didn't. "Did you give me pain medication last night?" Ella drops her phone, giving me my answer. "Oh my God, Ella! You know I have a zero tolerance for that stuff."

I always act drunk, or so everyone says. I tend not to remember much after I wake back up.

She shrugs. "Don't worry, whatever you said it wasn't too bad, Ashton still came back with us."

Setting the pink pill aside, I take the others before realizing something. "Ashton's here?"

My best friend smiles wickedly. "No, I'm afraid not. You scared him away with all of your snoring." I pick up my pillow and hit her repeatedly. "I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He had to go home around noon but he was here."

For some reason, I smile at that information. He didn't have to do that. I hold back from doing a poor excuse of a happy dance when I remember the state of my room. There's clothes and trash everywhere.

Oh my God. I look around to assess how bad it was but there's no mess.

"I already took care of it." Ella says, scrolling back through her phone.

"How?" I wonder. It was bad and by bad I mean bad. I was thinking of just paying Stella to clean the mess up for me.

"It didn't take me that long to change you, besides the fact that even while sleeping you were intent on keeping that jacket on," she teases me, pointing at the jacket now folded over my chair. "So I took some time to tidy up."

I don't say it enough but I really love Ella. She's my opposite in almost every way but she's wonderful. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. My love is cut short by the fact she is still on her phone. So rude. I reach over and snatch it from her hands. She's looking at my Instagram page.

I arch a brow at her, what about my feed is so interesting?

She raises her arms up in defeat. "Ok, so I've been thinking, you should become a blogger."

I stare at her dumbly. "What?"

"You know... post about your life. Possibly make vlogs. Partner with brands to promote products. I mean your insta aesthetic is amazing and your life is definitely something people would want to follow."

I can see the gears twisting in her head. The thought of what could be if I made my instagram public. My life public. For a moment I dream with her, entranced by the idea. I could have thousands of followers and influence so many people who go through problems just like us.

I could actually impact someone's life.

And just like that, all the gears crash. I'm not an adult yet so how could I, a minor, talk about raising kids without child services getting involved. We could be separated or even sent to live with Karen or Earl and Edna. I can't let that happen.

"Maybe." I tell her softly but she knows as well as I do that it will never happen.

We start to watch That 70's Show but there's a discomfort in the air.

"Dad wants to talk to you." Ella blurts out.

Surprised, I pause the tv. "Ok, about what?"

"I don't know." She pauses to see how I'll react but I remain stoic, "He says there's matters that need to be discussed before your 18th birthday."

I hit play, "My birthday is months from now."

And that's it, I'm done talking about it.

Ella snatches the remote and pauses the tv again. "Not really Scar. A little over three months from now you'll be a legal adult and with that comes changes."

There's that word. The one I've learned to dread: changes. Nothing good can come from a legal change. We're comfortable right now.

I glare at her, "How do you know any of this? Were you my parents lawyer?"

The hurt flashes through her face immediately, I regret my tone but it's too. "He thought I could approach you easier. Scarlett it's been practically been two years. You need to meet with him." Her voice falls flat.

"What I need to do, Ella, is make it through this week. Christmas is five days from now and two days after that... two days after that my only goal is to put on a brave face and do my best for my family. We have a dinner to prep for and gifts to give. I will deal with those things later."

I'm fuming as I try to get the remote back from her but Ella won't give up. "Later never comes for you, Scarlett." She whispers to herself but still I hear her.

I ignore her.

*****

I spend my break wrapping presents and bossing the boys around in order to tidy up the house, officially down for the count with my ankle. We bake excessive amounts of cookies and watch every single Hallmark movie.

There's lots of laughter in my house but there's also a silence that gets louder by the hour. Christmas offers a high right before the fall.

I hate to admit it but I'm beginning to separate myself off from my friends in anticipation, not really wanting to put forth the effort to socialize. Ashton's the only one I don't push away yet, finding his presence to be a nice distraction from my pain.

It also gives me plenty of opportunities to tell him about our parents but I never find the guts to.

Christmas Eve we attend church service with the Mackenzie's and the Hollen's, as per tradition. I avoid Dave like the plague in order to prevent the conversation from coming up. Instead, I watch him and Jane. They sit next to each other, hold hands when appropriate and smile warmly but something seems off. There's a stiffness that wasn't there before. Perhaps I'm becoming paranoid.

After a dinner of pizza and Chinese takeout, the five of us head home. There's a figure waiting for us on our front porch and I get overly excited thinking it's Uncle John. He should be here by now and the secret is killing me.

Instead, Ashton's waiting on us, I ignore how my happiness seems to grow. Sage gives me a piggyback ride to the front porch and sets me down gently next to him before ushering the others inside.

"Hey." I offer, bumping his shoulder as he sits next to me. The bells from his ugly Christmas sweater snag on my own sweater. I go to pull them apart, Ashton's fingers brushing against mine and my amused laugh falters.

We stare at each other before he clears his throat. "I wanted to swing by and bring you your present since tomorrow is probably gonna be hectic for you." He rushes out, his breath forming a cloud around his pink nose.

I blink at the sudden explanation. "Awesome! My present for you is upstairs, I can go grab it."

I motion for him to pick me up but he shakes his head. " We can grab that in a second."

Ok then.

He reaches into his pocket and hands me a small, wrapped box. I take it from him, evaluating it nervously. I can't help but notice that his gray eyes watch me intently.

"Can you not stare?" I ask pointedly, ignoring the blush creeping over my face. It makes me uncomfortable to know he's focused on me.

He smirks, "Just open the box, Sweetheart."

I stick my tongue out at him before tearing into the package. It's a necklace. A long silver chain with an2 emerald ring attached to it instead of a normal pendent. It's beautiful.

"Ash, I can't." I start, already closing the lid to the box.

He places a cold hand over mine, creating a new warmth within me. "I found it at an antique store, it reminded me of you."

I'm speechless as he brushes my hair away to put the necklace around my neck. His breath causing goosebumps on my skin.

"I love it." I whisper, fighting a shudder.

He looks like he want to say something but he shivers. It's just now that I realize it's too cold for him to not be wearing a jacket.

"Where's your coat, Ashton?" I demand, grabbing his hands and rubbing them for warmth. They feel like icicles.

"Some chick stole it from me at a party." He admits with a genuine smile that makes my own lips turn upwards.

"How rude, someone better get a hold of that maniac. I hear coat snatching is a major crime."

He gets up and opens the front door before turning back to scoop me up bridal style. "It's alright, she was pretty cute so I think I'm gonna let it slide."

"Lucky her." I muse, flicking his nose with my finger.

Once in my room, I throw his coat back at him fussily. He puts it on but I notice he's still shivering. I grab my crutches and hobble over to my closet. I struggle to maneuver through all the clothes but I come back out with the sweatshirt he gave me the day I picked up Saffron and the jacket he lent to me the day of our final.

"Here." I toss them at him as well but he places them back on the bed.

"Keep them for now. What's a coat thief without a few coats in their closet?" He shrugs, throwing a blanket over his shoulders.

I try to protest but he simply ignores me, breathing onto his hands. "Now, where's my present?"

I glare at him before hobbling over to two of the wrapped packages I have by my door. I set the larger one next to him. "This one is for your parents. This one" I motion to the smaller one, "is yours."

He tears into the package and blinks profusely. That can't be good.

"This is..." he starts but then stops.

"If you don't like it I could get you something else." I offer.

"No!" He exclaims. "This is amazing."

Ashton flips the frame around to reveal a painting I did of the six of us. It was the from the day we hiked to a waterfall during Thanksgiving break. I almost did the one of us at the party but I liked the way we looked in this one better. We were happier here.

"Are you sure?" I ask meekly because right now I can see a hundred mistakes. I made James nose slightly too big and Stella's eyes too black. The waterfall behind us looks more green then blue.

it's been awhile since I blended shades together.

"It's wonderful, when did you find the time?" He asks in awe.

I shrug, "Somewhere in between finals and basketball I managed to paint a little."

I always used to paint gifts for everyone. I would give each family a portrait of them and usually a landscape of somewhere they traveled that year. My friends usually got a painting that varied depending on what I feel they need.

The last time I gave presents like that was the Christmas before my parents. I did these all so last minute because I didn't think I had it in me to do it. There was no creativity just copying images but it still was a struggle.

Stella got phases of the moon. Ella a painting of her and the grandmother she lost in June. James got a picture of him and Stella walking down a trail together. They were special.

To Ashton meeting us was special. He moved his Junior year of high school and had the poor luck of meeting us. So that's what I chose for him.

He hugs me tightly, "I love it!"

Once I change into his sweatshirt and leggings to keep from snagging on his sweater again we sit on my bed. I throw extra blankets over us, rubbing Ashton's hands to get them warm. I would be flustered by how close we are but he's still cold and body heat does wonders.

"How was camp?" I ask, "We never got a chance to talk about it." He went right before finals and with all the studying I forgot to ask.

"It was good." He assures me. "The drills kicked my ass and the people were nice enough."

I smile, "So should I start hunting for an Oklahoma Jersey now or is it too soon?"

"I'd give you mine but no, I don't think anything's going to come from it." He offers casually and I blush but the rest of his sentence registers in my mind.

he doesn't think he's good enough.

"Have some faith, Ash, something good will come from it. Maybe it will just be a school a lot closer." I offer, hoping I don't sound too selfish for wanting him to stay close.

We just sit there for a while, conversation flowing between us in an unsteady pattern. One hand stays with Ashton's, the other mindlessly fidgeting with the ring.

"What exactly did I say the other night?" I ask the question I've been dying to ask for days now.

Ashton's smiles, "Nothing bad. You just rambled about nonsense things before falling asleep." I relax at that, I could've sworn I did something embarrassing. Just when I think I'm in the clear he holds up a hand, "Although, you were pretty interested in the mistletoe that was hanging above us."

A blush automatically appears on my face at what he's insinuating. "I didn't try to kiss you, did I? Because, if I did, I'm so sorry."

Oh my God, what is wrong with me?

He laughs, "No, but you did seem pretty interested." I cover my face with a pillow, why would Ella ever think giving me that pill would be a good idea?

Ashton's face leans over to mine, I don't have to look to know he's seconds away from bursting with laughter. "If you're that upset about missing out I can always kiss you now."

Instantly, I throw the pillow at his face, hitting him repeatedly. "You're such an asshole."

The laughter he was holding back fills my room, even as he rubs his face. Annoyed, I sit back down, letting him have his moment. Eventually, he stops laughing, drying a tear from his eye.

"I'm sorry, Sweetheart." I don't bother responding, not in the mood to talk to arrogant brats. The smile falls off his face, "Are you really ignoring me right now?"

I offer him a glance before focusing on cleaning my nails. The next thing I know Ashton's face appears in my line of vision, his head resting in my lap. "I said I was sorry."

I try my best not to cave but I crumble under his puppy dog eyes, it's been too long since I last ignored him. I'm out of practice. "Fine."

He pulls himself back into a sitting position, engulfing me in a hug. He ends up tugging on me so hard we topple over, but neither of us go to move. "Thank God, Christmas would suck knowing you were mad at me."

I flick his nose as giggles and voices echo up from downstairs. Saffron was definitely ready to watch out for Santa by now.

I go to sit up when I notice how close our faces are to each other, we lock eyes and the thought of moving seems impossible. He moves my hair out of the way just as my door flings open, we roll away from each other.

"Ho Ho H-" a man in a Santa suit calls out, falling short when he sees Ashton. "Who's this?"

I blink, testing my own eyes, before jumping up from the bed. "Uncle John!" I cry, embracing the fake Santa tightly.

"Hello, Bean, how's my favorite first God-Child?" He asks, fondly rubbing my hair. I swat his hand away, studying his clean shaven face and trimmed hair. He's cut it since the last time I saw him.

John was our parents best friend, growing up with dad in Miami and meeting mom when he moved in with my dad his sophomore year. He actually helped my parents get together. He also was my dad's business partner in a now multi-million dollar development company.

And I'm in so much trouble if the constant glancing at Ashton is any indication.

"I've been better." I admit, lifting my injured leg off the ground.

He chuckles, "You never fail to amaze me, Bean." Ashton lets out a snort and my uncles attention is once again fully on him. John eyes him thoroughly, not failing to notice how he's sprawled out across my bed. "And you are?"

Ashton stands up, offering his hand. "Ashton McClain, sir, nice to meet you."

I can't help but roll my eyes at his politeness, Uncle John stares him down once again before briefly shaking his hand. I can't help but notice Ashton's knuckles turning white.

Dear God, can't I catch a break?

"Funny, Sage didn't mention anyone else being up here with you."

"How convenient." So much for holiday kindness. Ashton takes that as his cue to leave and I struggle to my feet. "Let me walk you out."

He eyes my current position and goes to pick me up but Uncle John coughs, "I think it's safe to assume he knows the way out."

Ashton hesitates but I throw myself onto his back anyways, ignoring my uncle as we head for the door.

"I'm so sorry about... that." I try to say once Ashton sets me down on the porch, unable to really describe what just happened.

He scratches the back of his head, a bell dangling from his sleeve jingles. "Don't worry about it, I'm happy you like your gift."

Love is more like it but I just smile, "And I'm glad you like yours."

He taps his frame before heading downstairs, two steps down he pauses and sets down both gifts.

What the?

He turns around, clearing the two steps. His hands cup my cheeks and I'm about to say something when his lips cut me off. I throw my hands around his neck, my mind spinning a million miles an hour as he kisses me.

Once we pull apart he leans over to my ear, "Merry Christmas, Scarlett."

Merry Christmas to me indeed.

Ashton picks up his gifts and heads back down to his car, leaving me alone on my porch gaping like an idiot.

"What was that for?" I ask, brushing my fingers over my lips.

He points to the roof, a smug smirk on his face. "That was a redo of the other night."

Even more confused I look behind my head to find mistletoe hanging above my door. Now how did that get there?

Uncle John waits for me in the living room, holding a picture of him, mom, and dad, looking sad. "He has no idea, does he?"

I shrug, "There's never been a good moment to tell him, he's my friend. He'll understand."

Hopefully.

*****

Posting back to back to make up for months of absence.
Also the chapters are all looking to be longer (2500 to 3500) in word length. Hope that's ok.
Xo- Mo