"Kenney, I have to tell you something." Jazz lowered her eyes like she was embarrassed and ashamed of herself.
She better not tell me she's smoking again. That was the one thing I couldn't take.
Jazz raised her eyes back to mine. "Your mama and I...got in a fight last night."
"What? Jazz..." I tried not to laugh at her. "Hell naw..." I stared at her. "Ain't no way..." You could always tell when someone had been in a fight with mama, and Jazz didn't look nowhere near that.
Jazz nodded and looked away again. "I whooped her butt..." She knew she was lying. That's why she wouldn't look at me. "And I'll do it again, Kenney." She looked back over at me and rubbed nervously at my scar. I took her hand in mine and she stopped fidgeting. "Kenney, she loves you so much. You're her baby boy. But I'ma beat your mama's butt er'day until she turns you loose."
I just stared at Jazz. She must not have talked to mama all week, because she was sho' actin' like she didn't know mama was just in here tryna give me right back over to Jazz.
"Aunt Jazz," I flashed my most disarming smile. "How you gone beat on my mama like that?"
"I'm serious, son. I want you with me, and she finna turn you loose whether she wants to or not." I narrowed my eyes and stared right into hers. She was lying and she knew it. But she didn't even blink. "You need to come with me, son."
"How you lyin' to your favorite nephew, Jazz?"
She looked away again. "Kenney..." Her voice was shaking. I wasn't sure why. "I want you in Virginia with me, son. And that's all there is to it. I need you there. I won't make it without you." Her huge eyes, exactly like Sammy's, locked into mine, and I knew that part was the truth.
"Jazz...min. Aunt Jasmine..." I was still having a hard time remembering to call her that. "Mama and Charity need me, too. Just stay here with us. It'll be ok. I promise, we'll be fine. I'll take care of you." She gave me the strangest look, but I couldn't read it. "Ok Jazz? Please. Just stay here."
"Kenney...son, they'll kill you if you stay."
I shook my head. "No they won't. They know where I'm at and nobody came through yet."
She looked at me like I knew good and damn well nobody would carry out a hit in a hospital.
"You been in here for months, Kenney. That's what's kept you safe all this time. But you're about to get out soon, if that last surgery did what it was supposed to do. And you know how Rico is. You know how he is. He never lets anything go."
I put my hand to her cheek and tried to calm her fears. "He's locked up, Aunt Jasmine." She started rubbing at my scar again like she was trying to erase it with her fingers. I took her hand in mine.
"The rest of them are still out."
I nodded. She was right about that. "Mama said they're unorganized."
Jazz gave me a look. "Since when did your mama ever know what was really goin' on?"
She had a point. And I didn't have any other argument for her other than the same one that I had already given.
"Jazz, come on. I got you! I've always taken care of you." She gave me that same funny look again. It made me stumble over my words. "I...I'll do it even better this time. No drugs. Because...we're livin' different now. But you and me...we'll always be the same. I won't ever stop takin' care of you, Jazz. However you need me, whatever you need from me...you know I got you."
I felt like I was pleading to the courts to let me stay free so I could keep taking care of my family. "But we can't leave Charity and mamA. You can't leave and I can't leave. Mama needs you. And Charity's...just a girl. You know how they do girls around here."
I looked at Jazz like if anybody knew about that, she knew. She quickly looked away, embarrassed. I didn't mean to embarrass her, but it was the truth.
And she knew it.
"And the babies...Jazz..." When I saw Jazz's face change, my voice trailed off.
Her eye twitched. "I understand you tellin' me what your mama wants you to say, son, but it's time to go."
I shook my head no again. She shook her head yes.
"Jazz, Charity does need me to look after her. The only thing that keeps her safe...is the fact that she's my sister."
My eyes pleaded with Jazz, begging for her to understand. I didn't want to leave my favorite aunt out there. I knew she needed me, too. But Charity was just a kid. And she was too beautiful. There was no way that I was leaving her alone to fight for herself like Tiana's daddy did her. There was just no way. No one could watch out for my sister like I could.
No one.
"They know me, Jazz. They already know not to fuck wit' Charity because I'm here. That's why I have to stay visible. And close."
Jazz stared at me like she was watching me transform back into my old self. But the truth was I had never changed. I was still the same old Kenney. I was just shot up, and drugged up, and walking real slow, which made them all think that I had slowed down, but I hadn't. Not even a little bit. I could still handle whatever needed to be handled. Whatever needed to be handled. Wherever, whenever. All I had to do was see or hear the wrong thing and it was on.
"Kenney. They. will. kill. you. if you stay here." She put her hand firmly on my shoulder. "And you won't be lookin' out for nobody after that." I shook my head no. She shook her head yes. "God is what has kept your sister safe, son. Me too. And you. Your mamA. The babies. Wallace. All of us. All of us that are still here are here by the grace of God. You're not working alone, Kenney. You can't do all of this, keep all of us alive, by yourself. We have a whole team of angels runnin' with us. And some of them will stay here with your mama and Charity. Some of them will go with us..." She tightened her grip on my shoulder and leaned into me more. "Come with me, son. I need you."
"No." I stared into her eyes and didn't blink, didn't back down, just like she taught me to do. "I won't leave my sister here unprotected. I won't do it, Jazz. I just won't."
Jazz's face went expressionless after that, and she stood up straight. Taking her hand off of my shoulder, she stepped away from the bed and said "Fine." Then she nodded her head like I had just silently agreed to something that I wasn't aware of. "I'm whoopin' your mama's butt again tonight, Kenney. And every single time you tell me what she wants you to say. And every single day after that, until she stops makin' you think that your sister can't make it without you. Your mama will let you go with me, son." She looked at me like there was nothing I could do about it. "And Kenney...when I finally break her..." Jazz stared me dead in my eye like she was telling me the truth, like she really thought I believed that she could beat mama, "you're comin' with me. And there's nothin' you can do about it."
I stared at Jazz and didn't know what to say.
This was the first time that my aunt had ever looked me dead in my eye and lied to my
face.
Ever.
In a world full of...everything....everything...that I came up in, she was the only one still alive who always told me the truth.
She always told me the truth.
And now here she was, lying right to my face.
I just...didn't know what to say.
And I just...watched her...as she nodded her head.
And then she left.