"Mama!" I gasped and dropped Sammy's hand as soon as she walked through the door.
What was she doing here? Mama got laid off from the plant her and daddy worked at, and she hadn't been doing anything but laying in the bed crying ever since. So of course I never expected to see her anywhere outside of the house. I was glad when they told her to stay at home, though. The doctor and Jazz both kept telling her the same thing. She was sick and needed to rest. And she wasn't getting any better, she was getting worse. But she never would rest until her job told her not to come back. After that...she just stayed in the bed.
All day.
But nobody seemed worried about her being laid off, because daddy had "benefits" and him and mama didn't really have to work, anyway.
At least...that's how Jazz explained it to me and Charity when we asked her about it.
Still, even when mama worked and got off early, she never went anywhere before me and my sisters got home, anyway. So there was no chance of me getting caught at the hospital with Sammy when I was supposed to be at school.
Until I got caught.
"Mama..." I watched her face as she pulled up a chair beside me and sat down. I was trying to see how mad she was, and if she was mad enough to beat me in the hospital. She didn't look mad, but sometimes you couldn't tell with her until it was too late.
"I knew you were here, Kenney. What are you doing here, son?"
"Talking to Sammy." I was still trying to read her face.
"Do you come here every day?"
I stared into her eyes. "Yes."
"Do you know that you're supposed to be at school right now? Did Charity and Tiana drop you off at school this morning?"
I looked down. "Yes."
"Then..."
Just then my favorite nurse walked through the door with two popsicles. One for me, and one for her. Just like she did every day.
"Mrs. Duvalle! You're here early." She smiled warmly at mama. Mama didn't smile back. The nurse looked over at me. "I see you brought your son today."
Mama stared at the nurse like "Bitch, don't play me. You knew he was here and you know he's supposed to be in school." And the nurse stared back at mama like "Yeah, I knew he was here. He comes every day. Why didn't you know where your child was?" Mama backed down first and looked over at me like the nurse wasn't even still standing there.
I hoped the nurse would leave, because that's what mama always did when she was trying to be cool and not beat somebody's butt. Thankfully, the nurse must have heard of mama already, because she left real quick after that.
And she took our popsicles with her.
"Kenney, do you know that when you miss enough days at school they call me to check and make sure you're ok?" I shook my head no. "And do you know that what you're doing is called truancy and you can get into a lot of trouble for doing it?" I shook my head no again. "You have to go to school, son."
She stared at me, I stared back at her.
I backed down first and looked over at my sister. She was still asleep. She hadn't looked at me all day. She didn't look at me the day before, either.
"But I want to see Sammy."
"You can see her after school."
We stared at each other some more.
"Sammy didn't wake up today."
Mama looked away first this time. "I know, sha. She's in a coma." Mama took my hand in hers. "She might not wake up again, Kenney."
I looked into her eyes and saw that she had lost all hope. It made me sad. Real sad. I stood up and went to stand directly in front of her. We were eye to eye.
"Like daddy?" I put my hands on her shoulders.
She dropped tears and didn't wipe them away. I wiped them away for her.
"Yes." She cried harder and I hugged her.
"It's ok, mama. It's gonna be ok." She hugged me tighter. I kissed her cheek. "Don't cry, mama. Daddy said when he's gone I'm supposed to be a man and work and pay bills and make sure we eat."
Mama stopped crying and looked at me like she felt sorry for me because I didn't know what life was all about. I was looking at her the same way.
"Kenney..."
I put my hands on her face like Sammy always did. "Yeah, mama?"
"You have to go to school to get a job."
"Oh..."
"And you have to graduate first."
"Oh..."
With every word my heart sank further and further. Daddy made it sound like I could just pick up where he left off when and if the day ever came that everything fell on me. But now mama was making it sound like I had to be even older than Sammy before I could be a man and pay bills and make sure we ate.
But if it took that long, we would all be hungry. Like Tiana and her mama, when her daddy left them. That was too long to wait. We needed to pay bills and eat right now. I needed to be a man right now. Especially since mama lost her job and looked like she didn't know what she was doing.
"You have to go all the way through high school first, and then graduate, and then get a job." She put her arms around me. "Kenney, you're too young to take care of us. I will take care of us."
I looked into her eyes.
"How?"
Mama stared crying again and dropped her head so I couldn't see her face. But it was too late. I had already seen it. She had no clue how she was going to take care of us. None. I knew she didn't know how she was going to do it before I even asked the question. It was all over her face.
"Mama?"
"Hey, sha..." She sounded tired.
Real tired.
"I'll go to school."
She smiled at me through her tears and fake punched me in the chest, but it hurt for real.
"You better."