The bigger Rico got in the streets, the more he felt the need to flex at home...which wasn't necessary because we knew who the hell he was. We helped make him who he was. He started putting his hands on Jazz all the time. I couldn't wait to get rid of his ass. After Rico cut me, Jazz didn't even try to fight back anymore. She just let him beat her, and do whatever he wanted to the baby. She started smoking all the time. She was too fucked up to even cook anymore most of the time, which left one more job for me to do.

I never slept.

Never.

Rico started leaving me in charge of everything all the time. And he would wait until my shift was almost up to tell me so that I couldn't go home and check on Jazz and the baby, first, before I stayed out all night and the next day, again. He was doing that shit on purpose. I know he was. So he could do whatever the fuck he wanted to do to my aunt and my baby while I was out there in those damn crackhouses and watching his damn wildass youngins on the corner, making sure nobody fucked the money. Making sure that we all stayed fed.

I would take Angel with me as much as I could after I found Rico with her, and would try to leave her at mama's house as much as I could, too, so mama and Charity could watch her. But they already had two babies over there, and I could tell Wallace wasn't feelin' me involving them in our hood shit. At all. He hated everything about the way me and Jazz lived. He was one of those OGs that once he got out of the game, he didn't want it following him home. I could understand that. I probably wouldn't want this shit following me home either.

Once I got out.

If I got out.

When Rico cut me, you would think niggas would start seeing me as a mark. A moving target with a bright red bullseye right in between my eyes. That's how I felt most of the time. I would watch anyone talking to me extra close. I would read their face, read their mouth, read their eyes. I always knew where everyone's hands were at all times. Niggas that shifted on their feet too much and couldn't stand still made me nervous. Shifty-eyed crackheads made me nervous. Angel made me nervous when she would all of a sudden cry out for no damn reason. Jazz made me nervous when she would all of a sudden jump up for no reason. Lowriders that went by real slow bumpin' that loud shit for no reason made me nervous. Tricked out rides with spinners made me nervous, because the fools who pushed rides like that always stopped at stop signs for an extra-long time for no damn reason.

I was nervous as hell, all the time. But I wasn't jumpy.

On the outside I was cool as a fan.

On the inside...I was a nervous ma' fucka.

But I know nobody could tell, because all of a sudden I started getting all kinds of respect. Even more than before. I brought in even more business because fools who never liked dealing with Rico, but never minded dealing with me, started throwing two, three times more business our way. Word got around that I was the one with all the sense. I was the one who didn't fuck around and play games. I was always about business, and only business, all the time. The whole hood knew about me and Rico's...family moment...and that I was the only one on our block who would stand up to Rico.

And I was still alive to talk about it.

The only one who was still alive to talk about it.

Of course I didn't talk about it.

I kept my mouth shut about the whole thing. So nobody but Tiana, Jazz and Charity knew that I was defending my baby. Everyone else thought it was over a business misunderstanding, and I didn't tell them any different. We were getting paid...and I mean paid...because now fools thought I was the reasonable one. Despite my reputation as "Lil Rico," they thought I wouldn't fuck 'em up when it came time for a round up. They thought since me and Rico had some kind of unresolved family issue that, if something came up business-wise...where they couldn't pay the price that we set...I would stand against Rico.

For them.

All them niggas had me bent.

Fuck that shit.

They didn't even know. With me it was family first, always and only.

I hadn't had friends since I was nine years old, and I damn sure didn't need any now. But keep that money comin' gangsta. Pleasure doin' bidness witchya.

The fact that I kept my mouth shut, and Rico kept his mouth shut, left the streets open to come up with their own brand new legend.

Me.

I became legendary.

And untouchable.

Even Remmey kind of backed up, and it looked like I became Rico's number two. Which I already kind of was, anyway, if you ask me. Remmey was the obvious hitter, and Chauncey was the obvious...make shit disappear man. Even if I was over cleanup, Chauncey would make every trace of anything that we ever did disappear. That was his thing, and also why Rico had kept his bitchass on the team for so long. Everyone knew Chauncey could do what he did, too. So most people - the smart ones - never gave us any problems.

But I was the only one who Rico had ever trusted with all of the money.

And everyone knew that, too.

Which was why Rico had the hitter with me at all times growing up, before I could hold my own. Remmey wasn't guarding me, specifically. Remmey was guarding the money, which was always with me. And as long as I made sure the money stayed flowing, Rico would make sure I stayed breathing.

Rico's love of money clouded his good judgement. He never could tell who was with him and who was a threat. And really, to be honest, he didn't give a shit. Friends and enemies were all the same to him. He had always been that way, but now it was working to my advantage. I was the opposite of him. I always knew who was who. Even if I had the same mind as him when it came to everyone equally being able to get it if they had it coming to them, I knew who truly was on the team and who was just waiting for one of us to slip up.

All that watching the block, positioning moving pieces, watching my own back, and watching Rico's back...it just wasn't fun for me like it was for Rico. Rico enjoyed the hunt. He hunted people, and would wait and watch, like a lion in the bushes. The people he was hunting would never even know that they were being hunted, either, and he would do it in plain sight. No one ever has their eyes open as wide as they look like they do. Rico knew this and lived his whole life by it.

I hated all that shit. I hated games. All games. From the time Sammy died, I hated all things childish and stupid. Rico loved playing games with people. With him, everything was one big game. Everything. With me, everything was survival. Everything that mattered and got my attention, anyway. The only thing I cared about was keeping me and mine alive. Because that was my job.

Fuck all this other dumb shit.

The problem was, now that everybody thought I was the one to work with, I had to do even more shit to keep my name and make sure people didn't try me. Try us. Especially now that they thought I was the man to go to. I couldn't let them keep thinking that I was the safe one.

Because I wasn't. At all.

People got confused when my rep got twisted. The block got...chaotic.

Again.

People couldn't tell if I was the go-to, or if I was the nightmare. They couldn't tell if Remmey was the hitter or if I was the hitter. They couldn't tell if Remmey was the two or if I was the two. The chain of command got confused. The only thing the block still knew for sure, was that Rico was King. He was the King, and he was also inaccessible lately, so it looked like either I was in charge - which they couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing - or like nobody was in charge.

Which would mean that we were open.

Wide open.

But Rico had kept everything shaken up enough, so far, that everyone was still afraid to try to come and take it.

So far.

The lil niggas had a lot to do with that. They were a whole other story. Rico always called me when the youngins stepped out of line. And since by that time, most of my uncles were less visible on the street and more over the bigger operations, all the block saw was me. Handling them. Which is why they couldn't figure out if I was the new hitter or what, but those little ma' fuckas were out of control. I mean all the way live. The only time they ever straightened up was when I came around. They didn't listen to nobody else. Not even Rico, after they realized he actually didn't give a shit what they did as long as they gave me his money, all his money, by the end of their shift. He didn't care how they got the money, either. As long as it was all there when I brought it back to him. Which meant those fools could rob for the money and keep the drugs for themselves.

Now, I knew that would fuck up the supply...and our demand...in the long run. It also gave them the chance to try and set up their own money on the side, if they were bold enough to try it. So far, they hadn't been, but the potential was still very much on my radar. Rico didn't give a damn about any of that, though. He just wanted his money and expected me to keep everything else even.

Everything else...was my problem.

Those lil niggas got on my last damn nerve, too. I hated being over them. They were all the way on twenty-five all the time. Not even on ten. They were on twenty-five. All the time. Even Chance stayed at an even fifteen most of the time. Except when they saw Remmey coming. Whenever they saw Remmey on his way over to us, they would just...disappear. I would look around and all them niggas would be ghost. Everybody hated to see Remmey coming.

Except me.

I loved to see him coming. Not only did I miss having someone with me on the corner that I could actually talk to, I knew whenever he was out there, there would be no shit for the rest of the night.

Rico just sat back and watched everything. He watched the streets build me all the way up. Almost as high as him. Which wasn't like him. He didn't like anyone thinking they were his equal. And he definitely didn't let anyone think they were bigger than him. As far as he was concerned, there was no such thing as bigger than him. So you already know what that meant. My clock started ticking again. I knew Rico was only letting the block build me up so that he could take me down.

In front of everyone.

He wanted me to become the terror, the one everyone was afraid of. He wanted me to be larger than life. Because when he took me...his own blood...down, there would never be another question about who he was.

The Ma. Fuggin. King.

My days were numbered. Even before everybody started calling my name. But so were his. And he didn't know that his clock had never stopped ticking. I was never distracted. By any of it. I didn't even hear all that rah rah shit. I stayed focused on the goal. The only difference now was that I had to do what I needed to do in half the time. And I had to do it all while still balancing that fine line of being ruthless, and the lesser of two evils. I needed the block to love and fear me just enough to know that I was the right choice when it came time to choose between me and Rico. Respect was out the window. Rico had stopped playing that card a long time ago. Our crew was about total fear and domination now.

Which made it easier for me to look like the one not to hate.

Rico had no idea what I was planning. None. All he knew was that he had crossed my line, and that was it. He didn't know how I felt about it, so long after the fact. If I was even still thinking about it at all. Or if, at this point, I even gave a shit about what he did to Angel, or to Tiana...or to Jazz...now that everyone had - as far as he knew - gassed my head all the way up. He didn't have any answers.

Only questions.

And that was, once again, the only one up that I had on him.

Jazz knew, though. She knew as soon as he fucked with my baby, my heart, that blood would spill. She was just too high to care.

About anything.

She became careless. She stopped covering her tracks whenever she did dumb shit. Like fucking with Remmey. I walked in on them one day at Rico's house in plain damn sight.

Stupid.

Jazz was a damn fool when it came to men. She always had been. But I don't know how the hell Remmey talked her into doing that.

I take that back. Yes I do. Jazz was high as shit and didn't give a fuck.

"Jazz! Are you stupid?" Remmey jumped up real quick when he heard me coming in the room. I picked Jazz's clothes up off of the floor and threw them at her. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I could smell the crack in her clothes when I threw them. Which meant that Remmey had gotten her high first, and that pissed me off even more. I told her ass not to get that shit from anyone but me. But I already knew she had to have been getting it from somewhere else too, because she stayed high all the time. And I knew she wasn't getting that much rock from me. I just didn't know where it was coming from.

Now I knew who.

Up until then, there was always the possibility in the back of my mind that it was Rico keeping her high to keep her mouth shut and keep her out of the way. And that still may have been the case, too. But I couldn't do anything about it right then. I completely ignored Remmey. He was my uncle's real number two, so I really couldn't even say shit to him.

"Get dressed, Jazz."

I shook my head and grabbed the baby, then headed for the door.

In my room.

In front of Angel.

I was sick of this shit.

All of it.

Rico should have killed me when he had the chance.