Tiana was messing with my head. And I couldn't afford for her to do that. If this was love, it was dangerous. It had been a few months since Jazz had her baby, and me and Tiana were still sneaking around doin' the grown folks when no one was looking, and then acting like we barely knew each other whenever the crew was around. My uncles just looked at me like they knew what was up anyway, and like they thought I was stupid because, according to Charity, most if not all of them were banging her, too. Not that I ever asked Charity's hateful ass that shit. She just felt the need to bring it up again and again, every time she got word that somebody's nosey ass saw me and Tiana somewhere together. I didn't give a shit whether that was true or not, since Tiana wasn't my girl. I just...didn't know what to do with her because, quiet as kept, I wanted her to be my girl.
She just wasn't with it.
I thought about that all the way downtown and jumped off the bus without really looking where I was going. I made sure the baby was good, but it wasn't until we made it a few blocks up that I looked around and tried to figure out where the hell we were.
Stuffy, stressed looking people in business suits rushed past me in either direction. A few walked faster when they saw me, a few clutched their purses tighter. All of them avoided eye contact. I never really thought about how I must look to strangers until I ventured outside of the twelve block radius that I was pretty much chained to.
A man who didn't look away caught my eye. He was staring at me from across the street, like he was trying to figure out where I thought I was going with a baby in my arms. I looked up at the building behind him, and then back at him. I had had some of the lookouts come up here a few days a week for the past month to track this guy, to find out everything they could about him and his daily routine. I looked up at the building again, and then back at the guy. I knew this was the place that they said he would be, so I assumed that he was the man I was looking for.
I shifted the baby to my other arm and jay walked across the street. Nobody said anything, and a few people actually quickly fell in step behind me when they saw that I was getting away with it. When we got to the other side, they went their way and I went mine. The man watched me walk toward him and didn't look away or walk away when I got closer.
He just waited for me.
Interesting.
"Wallace?"
"Yeah."
I knew they called him Wally B on our side of town, but probably not down here.
"Do you know who I am?"
He looked at me tiredly. A lot of adults looked at me like that. Like they were just waiting for me to start some shit. I wasn't even that dude. I didn't have time to start any extra shit.
"Yeah." He nodded. When I didn't say anything else, he smiled at the baby, then looked back at me. "You look just like your mama."
I just stared at him. He seemed like an ok dude, so what the fuck was his problem? He didn't know how to take care of his woman?
"Do you know why I'm here?"
He shook his head no and smiled at the baby again. "Is she yours?" He squeezed her pudgy little arm and she laughed. That was strike two. I didn't like for anyone to touch her without clearing it with me first.
"No." I just left it at that.
He looked back at me, and then at his watch. "So...what's up, Kenney?"
Everyone from around our way knew my name - my nickname and my real name - and said it like they were either trying to get on or like they were scared as shit. But he didn't say it like either one of those. He said it like he was talking to a harmless kid.
Which annoyed me.
I shifted Angel to my other arm and got straight to the point. "Mama needs help."
His eyes widened, alarmed. "What happened?" He started patting his pockets, looking for his keys. Then he looked at his watch again.
"Nothing." I kept a steady gaze on him, and watched everything that he did. He seemed like a real good dude. Confident. Not afraid of me which, surprisingly, I liked. I wondered briefly if he was afraid of Rico. I already knew that he knew who Rico was, and who Rico was to us. "She's fine." My eyes never left his face. "She needs help with bills. And food."
It had been longer than a little while since Charity asked me to talk to mama's new dude, but from what my pockets could see, he still hadn't stepped up to the plate.
Wallace slowed down when I said that, and looked back at me, giving me the same steady gaze that I was giving him. I was pretty tall for thirteen, but Wallace was taller. Much taller. And bigger. But he didn't try to use his size to intimidate me or anyone else, I noticed. He stood strong, like a mountain, but that strength didn't seem to come from his size. It seemed to come from somewhere else, deep inside of him. The dude had heart. I could tell. He reminded me of daddy.
I couldn't put my finger on exactly why.
Wallace nodded, acknowledging my concern, without any sign of anger or annoyance. "She told me that you been takin' care of them since your daddy..."
I cut him off. No one should have my father's name inside their fucking mouth. Rico didn't even bring daddy up. Ever.
"Ain't shit changed," I shot back quickly. "But you're her man, right?"
He got the point. "I'm glad I'm finally getting to talk to you, son." I gave him a look that let him know I wasn't his fucking son. Wallace got that point, too. He looked at the baby again, and noted that I had shifted her in my arms like three times already. "Let me give you a ride home. I was about to leave, anyway."
By the way he had been looking at his watch when I first walked up on him, I knew that wasn't the case. But I took him up on his offer because I hated that damn bus.
He reached out for the baby, probably to give me a break, since clearly I had never taken her that far away from home before and didn't realize that she would get heavier by the minute. But I backed up quickly and stared him down, letting him know never to put his hands on her again without my permission. He kind of blinked, surprised, and pulled his hands back. If he had really been from our block, and not just from around the way, he would have already known this.
Wallace had a Chevy Tahoe in the parking deck. Flashy as hell. Just askin' to get jacked. Too bad mama loved him, or else I would have been ridin' clean for the next three days. I shook my head and let go of the urge. It was a huge effort on my part, trust me. I wanted to push that thing all the way back to the Northside. The more I thought about it, the more I hoped nobody else would get him if he drove it up on the block too many times. I would have to put the word out not to touch this one. Wallace usually drove around our block in that old Volvo, anyway. The lookouts had reported that fugly thing parked in front of mama's house more than a few times before.
Nobody wanted that white boy piece of shit.
Me and Angel jumped right in the front seat. That truck was real nice, with peanut butter leather and a car phone. I halfway wondered what kind of side hustle this dude had going.
Wallace gave me a funny look when I balanced Angel on my knee and slid the seatbelt on behind her, but I ignored him. I didn't see a car seat in his truck, which would make him a part of the problem, so I waited for him to say something slick, but he never did. Jazz and Rico didn't have a car seat either, so I just kept Angel real low, like they taught me, so the laws wouldn't pull us over.
"Look, s...Kenney." He almost called me son again. Good thing he didn't. "I...love your mama. Very much."
I nodded in appreciation. I could dig it. I loved her, too.
"And...I want to marry her."
I gave him the side-eye and so did Angel. She was so funny to me. Jazz's baby did every single thing I did. So I knew I couldn't do real dirt around her, or else she would grow up doing that same shit, too. Another Little Rico.
No chance in hell, if I could help it.
"What?" I was trying to play it cool, but the word ended up choking its way out on its own.
"I want to marry your mama." He looked over at me when he stopped at a red light. "I know you and I are just meeting, but I been knowin' your mama for a long time. We grew up together. Me, her, your aunties, your daddy, all of us. In Baton Rouge." Funny, I had never heard of him, so all that shit didn't even register in my ears. "Kenney..." he paused like he was just now realizing that he didn't really know me, and I knew then that he was about to say some shit. "Did she tell you she's pregnant?"
What the fuck did this ma' sucka just say to me?
I blanked my face out so he couldn't read my expression, and almost punched Wallace dead in his temple. If I wasn't holding Angel, I probably would have. On the inside, my eyes were bugging out of my head. On the outside I was mildly interested in the conversation.
"You got my mama pregnant?" I asked those exact words intentionally to make sure that I heard him right before I reacted to anything, and also to make sure that he was telling me it was his. Mama was no ho by any stretch of the imagination, but around our way you never did know.
"Yeah." He looked over at me, and then back out at the road when we got onto the highway.
Angel was looking at me, too, like she understood everything that we were talking about, and she was waiting to see what we were going to do about it. This girl was a soldier. That cooled me down a little. I couldn't act a fool in front of the baby.
"Huh..." I looked down at Angel, and then back out the window. I stared out at the skyscrapers flying past and asked Wallace what he did for a living. I would need a minute to process everything else.
"I'm an architect."
I chuckled. "Word? Like dude from the Brady Bunch?" He looked over at me, shocked, like he couldn't believe that I had ever even heard of the Brady Bunch. Once again, he was showing me and hopefully himself, how little he knew about us. That was one of Sammy's favorite shows. She never could stay asleep, so most nights she would get back up and watch reruns on Nick at Nite until the sun came up. Mama and Daddy never knew, but sometimes I would sneak downstairs and watch them with her.
"I guess..." His voice trailed off and he pointed to one of the buildings that was flying past. Angel looked over to where he was pointing before I did. "I helped design that."
Ok, I was impressed. "Word?" Then I put my stone face back on. "How?"
He looked over at me again. "Maybe one day I can show you. I'll take you to work with me..."
I shook my head. "Nah." Then I looked down at Angel. She was already staring up at me with her big, beautiful grey eyes, exactly like Jazz's. Exactly like Sammy's. We shared a silent joke, and I guess she read my face, because she chuckled before I did. "Nah," I chuckled and shook my head again.
Like I had time for that shit.
Wallace looked out into the traffic, and as if reading my mind, said "I know you been takin' care a ya mama and sister, son, but if you don't mind...I'd like to take over from here."
The fuck?
No man had ever said that to me before. I stared at him, trying to see what he was getting at.
"I'm not tryna take your place Kenney, but I do want to marry your mama and take care of all y'all. Not just her. But..." he quickly glanced over at me, "...you would still be...second in command. Like my lieutenant."
I heard what he was trying to say, and peeped that he was trying to possibly relate his 1970s experience to mine, but the shit wasn't flying with me. At all. I ran my own camp. Had been running my own shit for a very long time. I didn't need that nigga to tell me shit.
But I did need help with mama. She needed help with more than just money, too.
And she was getting worse.
Wallace kept on like I had already agreed to the first part. "And I want to adopt your sister..." I chuckled. There was no way in hell Charity was going for that. He kept talking. "And, if you don't like where you at, maybe I could..."
Before he had the chance to go any further, I cut him off. "Nah." We weren't foster kids. We already had parents. We didn't need him. But mama did. And me and Charity both knew it. "But you can marry my mama, though."
He looked kind of amused, like I was just some lil nigga giving my two cents, but then I guess he remembered who the hell I really was and fixed his face.
"Thanks."
"No problem." I looked at him. "So...when are you doing that?"
He shrugged, "I haven't asked her yet."
My eyebrows shot up in surprise. "You talked to me first?"
He nodded. "Man to man." We were pulling up in front of mama's house, but I told him to go around the corner to Jazz's so I could drop the baby off and do my rounds. I also wanted the youngins to see me getting out of the truck, so they would know not to touch it. "I love her Kenney. And I won't hurt her."
I kind of choked on air, not sure why. No man had ever said that to me, either.
"I won't hurt your mama. Or your sister. They're both be safe with me. You have my word." He stuck his hand out, and I shook it. This dude was aight. "Need anything?"
I was thoroughly amused by this 9-5 nigga asking me if I needed anything. He must not know I fed the whole block. I had dudes older than him offering me all kinds of shit. Daily. On their knees begging me for a little bitty piece of rock. I had never taken any of them up on that sickening shit, but I'm just sayin'...age didn't mean a damn thing to me.
It never had.
"Nah." I chuckled. "I'm good."
"Aight then."
I nodded to him and he nodded back. I was glad mama and Charity had him. I believed what he said, just because he was that dude, and I had already done my research on him. Don't get it twisted. That's how I knew exactly where he would be at exactly that time of day. He was predictable, which would have made him an easy target if I had been hunting him, or if he ever fucked up. But as far as I could see, he wouldn't.
I hopped out of the truck with Angel in one arm and slammed the door with the other. I walked straight up to Rico and Remmey, who had been standing there watching us the whole time. Rico was trying to control the biggest German Shepherd I had ever seen. It looked like he was trying to break the chain that Rico was yanking him back with, and trying to jump right into Wallace's truck. The thing chilled out as soon as Wallace drove away, though, and I bent down to pet it. Then I stood up and explained to Rico what the fuck I was doing with his daughter in some random nigga's Tahoe. Thankfully, Rico didn't even trip. He already knew who dude was, that he was dating mama, that I was supposed to be meeting up with him today, and apparently Rico didn't give a fuck where the hell I took Angel, as long as I brought her back when I was done.
Rico took the baby from my arms when I was finished explaining, and handed me the chain. It felt like I had just traded Angel for a dog.
It was a bad feeling. I didn't like it.
I watched Rico for a minute, as he took the baby into the house. What kind of shit was that, that he didn't care where I took Angel, as long as I "brought her back when I was done"? I was real glad mama and Charity had Wallace after he said that. Now I could put all of my energy into figuring out how to get Jazz and the baby the hell out of dodge.
I only gave the thought a second of my time, but in that second, I realized it was true. I really did need to get them out of that house. Soon. Because Rico might just end up fucking Jazz and the baby up.
He damn sure didn't stop kicking Jazz when he found out she was pregnant.
I looked over at Remmey when I felt him watching me, and he had that grin on his face. The one that he had been using to silently tell me "Don't get fucked up, Pee Wee," for years.
I nodded, and redirected my own attention back to the business at hand. I jerked the monster dog's chain and started walking with Remmey toward the workhouse.
Who knew what the hell we were about to do to somebody with that beast.