I called him, wrote to him and went to his house.

He doesn't write back or is never at home when I come.

Denise won't listen to me either and always just sends me away.

And I don't even need to talk about my mother. She found out about all this from Denise and is now very disappointed in me.

But I didn't bother to explain it to her or set the record straight.

A little more than a month has passed since that day and I still can't forgive my mother for the house. It is too important to me for that.

"Jude, I know you've blocked my number because I annoy you when I write to you and I also know that I'm leaving you a voicemail for the 37th time, hoping that somehow you'll listen to it and forgive me. I've already told you 36 times, so I just want to tell you again that I love you and I won't give up until you've listened to me at least once," I say into my mobile phone and hang up.

I'm walking down the street to Jude's house when Tom suddenly runs into me.

It's bad enough that I have to see him almost every day at school and now I see him outside too.

"Oh hey, Leya. I didn't recognise you," he says as he walks past me and stops.

He tried to talk to me several times at school but never admitted what he was really doing. He has not apologised either.

"Leave me alone. How many times do I have to tell you?", I say as I walk briskly on.

"I don't understand what you're talking about," he says innocently.

I stop and look at him angry.

"You kissed me on purpose after I told you I loved Jude and was happy with him.You fucked everything up with that, but you know that. And now I want you to just leave me alone for that reason. I don't want to have anything to do with you," I say to him in a loud voice and just keep walking.

I don't care if he wants to say something else.

After 10 minutes I arrive at his house and ring the bell.

After a few seconds, Denise opens the door and rolls her eyes in annoyance.

She wants to close the door again, but I put my foot in and hold it open.

This time I don't just let the door slam in my face again.

"Denise, wait. I just want to talk, okay? If you still feel the same way afterwards, then I will never come here again or say a word about you or your son. But I beg you, let me explain."

She seems to think for a moment, but then waves me into the house with a wave of her hand.

She sits down on the couch and I sit down opposite, as far away as possible.

"So... It wasn't like he said it was. It all started when that boy stood outside our room door. I didn't want him to come in, but a former friend did. I left, went to our old house to be exact. When I finished there, I went back to the hotel and he was still in our room. He and this friend then betrayed me to the teacher. She shouted at me and so on, so I just left again. I sat on a bridge all night and waited until it was light again and the shops opened. Then I went back to take a shower and from there I went to a flower shop and bought flowers for my father and sister's grave. At the cemetery Tom, the boy, came again. He followed me all the way from the hotel and then confessed his love for me on a cemetery bench. I told him that I was with Jude, that I loved him and that he was the only one who made me happy at the moment. He ignored that and then just kissed me. I immediately got away from him and then threw up in a bin. When I was done afterwards, he was gone again. And I can understand if you don't believe me anymore, but I just wanted to tell you once how it really was," I say and stand up.

My eyes start to water again when, even after I run out of the living room, no Denise tells me to stay.

"Is that right?" says Denise from behind me as I am about to open the front door.

I just nod sadly and look at her.

"Go to him and tell him exactly what you just told me," she says, looking at me with an intense gaze.

"I've tried so many times, but he won't see me. But I understand. He has decided to live his life without me," I say and smile sadly at her.

"I just wanted at least one of you two to listen to me," I add.

"Leya, don't tell me anything. He never decided to live without you. He even wanted to listen to you, but he couldn't. He even cried. And the last time I saw him cry was when he was three, when he fell into a dog pile. So please go to him and tell him the truth. He still loves you, just like you still love him," she says and touches my shoulder once.

But what if he tells me he doesn't want to see me anymore?

Or tells me that he doesn't love me anymore?

I don't think I could cope with that.

"Okay. Where is he?", I ask her.

"Today is Saturday. He has a game. If we leave now, you can still make it," she says and takes her car keys from the shelf.

"Don't you think I'd better tell him after the game?", I ask a little nervously.

"No. I'm his mother and I've seen him suffer a lot in the last few weeks. Every second counts for me. So please, ride with me," she says, looking at me beggingly.

How can you say no to that?

"Okay," I give in and a few minutes later we are already in the car.

"I don't know what to say to him," I admit and look out of the window.

"Don't worry about it. Just tell him openly and honestly from the heart. That's always the best way."

"There's the entrance. Go on in.", Denise says and pushes me forward a little.

"They won't let me in. I'm not even his girlfriend anymore," I say.

"I'll come with you then," she says and leads the way.

The inspector lets us both in after Denise tells him it's an emergency and that she's his mother.

"Now let's go. Find him." she says and sends me into a corridor.

Where can he be now?

When I haven't found anyone after 10 minutes, I make my way back to Denise.

Just as I turn the corner, I bump into someone.

I look up, straight into his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" he asks me in a serious tone.

"Your mother drove me," I say, looking back down at the ground.

"I want to talk to you. Please let me explain. One minute.", I say and look at him with a begging look.

He nods only once briefly and looks at me with a look I have never seen on him before.

It seems so deprecating somehow.

I explain everything to him, just like I explained it to Denise.

I even manage not to cry.

When I have finished, I look at him hopefully.

What will he say now?

"I have to go now," he finally says, walks past me and leaves me standing alone in the coridor.