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The ring felt heavier on my finger as I stride towards the room which I knew could only end with two emotions; despair or joy. I had to play my cards right.
My feet carried me towards the door as my stomach dropped and a rush of nausea hit my every nerve in my body. I took a deep breath to ease my sickening before reaching for the cold doorknob and twisting it open to reveal a laughing Tomas with his parents, who sat in the hospital chairs. Happy smiles overtook their faces as they saw me.
"Emily, how wonderful it is to see you." Fred McCoy, Tomas' father lifted from his chair before walking towards me and giving me a hug.
I wrapped my arms around the older man before letting go. "Hi, Mr. McCoy."
"Oh please," Tomas' mother, Livy, waved me off dismissively, "you know you can call us 'mom' and 'dad'."
"Mom." Tomas eyed me warily.
"What?" Livy turned back towards her son before rolling her eyes and pulling me into a hug and whispering in my ear. "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed." She joked.
I smiled before pulling her away.
She sauntered over towards her son before gesturing me over. "I suppose that you've been here already?" She asked and I guess it was rhetorical because she didn't give me enough time to answer before she continued. "I asked the front desk, sweetheart."
"Yeah, she was," Tomas answered, his eyes still watching me.
I backed away from the bed and pulled my bottom lip between my teeth before I fiddle with the ring on my finger. "Um... Mrs. McCoy and Mr. McCoy, may I talk with Tomas alone, please?" Awkwardly, I asked the couple in front of me.
They peered at each other cautiously before wordlessly leaving the room and I prayed to any universal force up in the heavens to give me strength.
Silence filled the room as Tomas and I looked at each other.
"You should-,"
"I was gonna-,"
We both spoke before pausing and shaking our heads at each other.
"You first,"
"You first,"
We spoke at the same time again before Tomas broke the cycle by saying, "you first,"
He waved a hand my way, a tight smile on his face. I nodded, rubbing my sweaty palms together before clearing my throat.
"You should tell your parents the truth." I gestured towards the door.
The man in front of me hung his head, his overgrown blond hair hit his rosy cheeks, leaving his eyes covered; not displaying the emotions, I craved to see.
I watched him take a deep breath before muttering an "I know."
"Okay."
The urge to speak wasn't strong enough to pursue a more reasonable agreement, so I stayed quiet and Tomas did the same. I began glancing at the white room around me to help ease my racing mind. White, bland walls. White, bland chairs. White, bland...
As I continued my checklist, Tomas gave a bitter laugh. My eyes snapped towards him.
"What do you want from me, Emily?" he rubbed his temples.
I scoff, my eyebrows furrowed, "what do you mean?" Cocking my head to the side, I rewind the previous conversation to understand where I went wrong.
Finally, his veiled forest green eyes inspected at me, irritation radiated off of him in vigorous waves. His small lips pressed together tightly, tiny wrinkles crinkled around his lips. The young man in front of me seemed to age as he pushed his blond locks back, revealing another set of premature wrinkles between his eyebrows.
"I mean, what do you want from me?" He sighed as if I was getting on his last nerve. "Do you want me to confess? To what, huh? I'm not the bad guy here."
I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head, "what are you talking about Tomas? You're making no sense."
"That's because you're not listening," he scoffs and I am trying my hardest to take him seriously right now. It must be all the drugs in his system.
"Emily, you've always pictured the world through this rose-colored glass; thinking that everything and everyone is perfect when actually they weren't. And I tried so hard to make sure you've never lost that, but now I'm thinking you should have because this perfect person you've created in your head isn't me." He implored, a shaky hand runner the back of his neck before he continued, "you've always wanted me to be this perfect prince to sweep you off your feet. Haven't you ever thought about how tired I got?"
My fist clenched and I warned myself not to do something too drastic like punch him in the face. "How are you blaming this all on me?"
He sighed again, "I'm not. It's just — Emily, I'm not the only one who needs to change. You need to, too." He tries to explain some more, but only makes it worse for himself. How could he put me on the spot for all the stuff he's done? "Maybe I know I've done some bad things which we can make up for but you, honey..."
What does this have to do with everything he did? Everything that has happened because he didn't realize the consequences of his actions? Again, my mind raced through all the conversations we've had together and I still couldn't find one flaw of mine.
"Maybe we could try again," he proposed as I stayed silent, trying to control my pulsing temper.
Try again...
Try again?!
What would I want to try again? Try again being lied to? Try again having the truth right in front of my face and not being able to see it?
As he continued to sprout his stupid logic into the air, the door of the hospital opened again to reveal the same cop I saw hours ago. "Mr. McCoy, we still need you for questioning."
As Tomas asked the cop for more time, a slow smile made its way onto my face and I realized he was right. I needed to change. And almost instantly, Parker's words spoke into my mind.
Promise when I go, you'll leave this place. You'll leave and won't look back. Starting something else, be someone else. Let all this darkness go.
Abruptly without a single thought, I finally said, "you're right."
Tomas and the officer stopped their negotiations and both studied me. Curiosity shined through their eyes.
Tomas cocked his head before skeptically asking, "really?"
"Yes," I flash a kind smile at the officer before slowing pulling the ring off my finger. "You're right. I need to change. And I can't do that with you."
"Wait, what?"
I place the ring on the end table next to me and dust myself off. "I'm done, Tomas McCoy. Have a nice life." I wave him and his confusion off with a dismissive hand before moving past the police and walking out of the door.
Tomas' parents shot up from their chairs and stopped me from storming off.
"Emily, dear, what's going on?" Tomas' mom, Livy asked me, concern dripping from her lips. Her delicate hand gently grabbed my wrist.
"Ask your son," I answered as I pulled her hand off of me and walked away.
I'm done, I finally decided as a burst of laughter bubbles up inside of me. I'm not doing this anymore.
A rush of pride, joy, and nervousness quaked inside of me and I couldn't help but want to pump my fist up into the air in hopes of the new adventure.
It's time for me and my future.
*****
Hey guys!
Taking charge of your life... finally feels amazing.
Anyways, I hope you liked Chapter 27 of The Love That Is Parker Bowmen.
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