{SPN imagine}

(A/n: This imagine contains ZERO spoilers and it kind of picks off from when Dean gets out of hell and also includes flashbacks. Also, please do not comment any SPN spoilers for the benefit of the people who have not watched it yet (specifically S15) Enjoy the imagine!)

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'Flashes from hell played through his brain over and over again, making him relive the worst 40 years of his life without stop. He could feel them slice and carve as if they were doing it all over again. Pulled, chopped, and tormented endlessly till he was nothing. Then, he'd be back in one piece and the torture would start all over again.'

"No, no, no, no, No!" Dean shot up from his place on the bed, shaking, sweating, panting. It took him a minute to realize that he was no longer in hell and that he got out months ago. He attempted to wipe the tears that trickled down his cheeks. Reaching towards his bedside table, he grabbed a small bottle of liquor, untwisting the cap and taking a swig.

As Dean tried to collect himself, he felt a small stir next to him. "Dean?" the voice asked. It wasn't dark enough in the room that he could not see her face. He had unintentionally woke her up and immediately felt guilty.

He turned his head to face the girl next to him. She instantly noticed the amount of sweat on his face, assuming that he was also crying due to his glossy eyes and the bottle of liquor in his hands that were shaking.

"Oh Dean, another nightmare?" She asked in a voice that made him feel calmer, safer. He steadily nodded his head and Y/n opened her arms up to him. "Come here." Dean set down the bottle of Jack Daniel's before accepting her offer. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, never wanting to let go. She rubbed small circles on his back as he still tried calming himself down.

"It's alright Dean, you're not there anymore, you're here with me, nothing can get you." She whispered softly to him. She could feel his tears falling from his eyes and hitting the shoulder of her shirt. Seeing him like this absolutely broke her heart, making her feel emotional as well.

Everything recently was an emotional rollercoaster for the two. During Dean's last year before being sent to hell, he had met a girl named Y/n. He didn't expect to become so attached to her and she didn't think she'd become so attached to him either. She was working on a job when the two Winchester boys had walked through the door, dressed in suits and flashing their fake FBI badges. She knew that they were fake right off the bat and hammered them with questions when she could.

Being who he was, Dean attempted to flirt with the hunter, flashing a smirk and answering everything with sarcasm and a pick-up line. He was surprised when she turned him down, but he didn't want to give up. Having only a year left to live, he didn't want to go out knowing that a girl had rejected him.

So, he pestered her, showing up at her other jobs against his brother's will and "helping" her out. After constantly telling him to shove his comments, she finally agreed to go out with him, just so he'd shut up. What Y/n didn't expect was to have a good time with him. The conversation was never dull and he'd get her to laugh one way or another. Dean didn't expect to like her as much as he did and he didn't want to leave.

But, duty called, and Dean and Sam had to leave. The two swapped phone numbers with the girl to stay in contact. Y/n kissed Dean goodbye, not knowing when she'd see him again, and they drove off.

A few weeks later, however, she was called to a case in Denver, so she packed up her small bag, hunting equipment, and headed down the road. Once she arrived, she noticed a familiar black Impala sitting in the driveway of the house she was called to, opening the front door of the house to find none other than Dean and Sam Winchester, flashing their phony badges.

After running into them again, she decided to tag along with them to whatever job they were doing next. Since she was now traveling with them, she and Dean were able to spend more time together, hence a developing relationship. The more time she was with them, the more Dean developed feelings for her.

The Winchester brothers decided to tell Y/n about Dean's deal with the devil and though she was devastated, she was determined to find a way to save him. But when the time came and Dean had to go, it was the hardest goodbye he ever had to do. Over the course of the almost year, she had spent with the boys, Dean had fallen for her after he swore to himself that he wouldn't for her own safety, but he fell hard and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

6 months without Dean took a toll on everyone. Bobby began drinking more than usual, Sam went on a downward spiral, and Y/n, well, she was an overall mess, but never showed it. She disappeared, away from Sam and away from Bobby. She needed time to herself when really that was the last thing she needed. She became stronger, tougher, and more ruthless, killing every monster that crossed her path. Bobby became worried and tried calling a few times, getting nothing but a voicemail.

But one day when she picked up her phone to an unknown number, she couldn't believe the voice on the other end of the line.

"Y/n, Y/n, baby it's me, Dean, I'm here, I'm alive."

This only caused her to feel more upset and angry at the world, yelling at him from the other end, upset that someone would be cruel enough to play a game like that. Only it wasn't a game, Dean was alive, but she was far too in denial to know that.

"What kind of sick bastard are you! Pretending to be him when we all know that he's not coming back! He's dead! Never call me again!"

The hurt in her voice is what kicked Dean the hardest. He didn't call her again after she hung up. Dean went to Bobby for help and after being tossed around like a ragdoll, Bobby hugged his adopted son, grateful and confused about how he was back.

After Dean and Bobby got a hold of Sam, they were able to track down the distraught girl, finding her in a motel somewhere in Florida.

The reunion was very overwhelming for the both of them, Sam and Bobby conforming to Y/n that he was not a demon or a shapeshifter. Once she realized it was really Dean, she threw herself at him, crying hysterically. Living the past 6 months without him was brutal and lonely. She forced herself to block out everything that had happened in her life, to ignore the pain.

Sam and Bobby left the two to have a moment alone together. It was filled with 'Who?' 'What?' 'How?' and 'When?' questions, followed up by 'I'm so glad you're here.' and 'Are you okay?' Dean only answered a few before tackling her with kisses, happy to be back.

About a few weeks after Dean's return, Y/n and Sam both noticed how different Dean was. He had an obvious reason since he was in hell, but they saw that he looked more tired and that he was drinking more than usual. So when they sat down to question him, he was instantly in denial, telling them that he was fine. Eventually, he cracked about the nightmares. He didn't tell them because it wouldn't make a difference. But, the biggest difference was that Y/n was now able to comfort him.

"Dean, look at me." Y/n pulled away from the hug, placing a hand on each of his shoulders. "I'm here with you now okay? You're not in that hellhole anymore, breathe." She told him, exemplifying a deep breath in through her nose and out through her mouth. He copied her actions a few times, collecting himself.

"Better?" she asked in a soft whisper, looking him right in the eyes. He slightly nodded his head, not breaking eye contact. There hasn't been a way to make the nightmares disappear, but Dean did find something or someone to help him calm down.

She slowly leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on his lips, cupping his face with her hands. Dean felt a great deal of comfort from Y/n whether it was her gentle words, a hug, or a simple kiss. He placed a hand on her cheek and kissed back, the feeling making all of his problems melt away. This was one of the hundred reasons that Dean loved her.

They both then pulled away shortly after, resting their foreheads against one another, staring into each other's eyes. Y/n wiped a remaining tear from his cheek as she listened to his breathing, noticing how it has gone mostly back to normal.

"Always remember that I love you, Dean," she whispered, "and that I'm here for you always. You're stuck with me." She smiled a little on that last part. Dean returned the gesture and wrapped her in another hug. "Thank you for being here Y/n, I love you too."

This hug lasted a little longer before they both crawled back under the covers, Dean pulling Y/n into his chest. He checked the bedside clock that read '4:36 a.m.' Knowing he wasn't going back to bed anytime soon, he spent the next 4 hours watching his girlfriend sleep peacefully.