My grand mother was a loving woman, and the mother  of a loving woman!  That being said my earliest memories would be to visit my grandparents on my mother's side to celebrate thanksgiving/ Christmas in October, or to crash be fore a flight in the morning.    Those were my memories of her....as my fingers grow soon I started inheriting her old jewelry!  Which was nice I had more crystals to shake a stick at!  But  soon when I was just in high school.....she developed cancer, stage 4!  When I heard that I was swearing and mouthing off in rage!  The jewelry giving was growing and soon I was giving a garnet and Diamond ring that said "I love you!"  My grand father most of given it to her and she past it on to me!  That was exact when things when to BM, and if you know what that means it means crap! And the crappier the worse!   On April 20, 2012 I lost my grandmother and for my mom and I some pure goodness that was left in the world!
This was the first time I ever really saw my mom drink, and she ended up in the hospital for three months because said drinking!  It looked like I was going to lose my mom and that time.  But she would be the first non- Eastern block person who was so stubborn to survive this! When so many people could have just given up!
But soon she regain her functions both physical and cognitival at the time and  she was home! 

But during her hospital stay I ended up throwing the darn ring that my grandmother gave me to say good bye and soon I would regret that PTSD flashback!  I always regret my PTSD but this took the cake!  I was again at my self, and still am at this day.    There isn't a day that I would think of that ring nor the woman who gave it to me!   I miss her like the it was yesterday!
I remember april 20, 2012!   I was looking for Chinese stress balls for my collection that  I was hearing my friends phone go off!  Like I wasn't fried chicken at this point, I know that she connected with the spirit world.   And that was when thing went to shit for my mom and I!   My father did not care as he did not like my grandmother! And I was given a hefty amount of money but like I said I hate money with a passion and did not want it......I just wanted my grandmother back or at least to see her ghost!

That can be arranged!

As I was falling asleep one night my room started to inexplicably smell like a duty free boutique at the airport with the different perfumes!  I remember it was so over powering that I woke up from my sleep from time to time!   And then I come out of my room and see that my father was growling about a ring that he slept on!  I knew the size of that ring.....it was my grandmother's....but how did it get between my father and his mattress was beyond me!  It was as if she was saying that she was perfectly happy were she was and that she forgave me for that flashback!  Now I alway was a shaman at heart so this ring was a sign that she was happy were ever she is! 

The first time I was at my group home that perfume was still wafting into my nose as if she was reassuring me that everything will be fine again!   And it is!

-T.M.