November 2022: I remeber this exactly that I was going to my first day program! Something I wasn't looking forward  to was waking up at an obscene hour and being " b*tchy" I was never a morning person so I why did the gods do this to me!    But when I got home I remember I big package from Amazon!  The package contained book:  the love hypothesis (not by me) but the other books were by me!  Yes I ordered my author copies of my first paper backs!  It was like my dreams my ultimate goal had happened! Where I was  being awarded  for thing even that it was me who had writen and bought the books!  I wanted to put them in my room after showing people  them in the first place!  I also remember this day as when I met Matt! A friend and a worker at my group home!  I remeber walking to the mail box with him to get said books!  It was awsome!  Both the person and having my author copies!  That being said I wanted to give my author copies to someone who would appreciate them! But that person said they're your pride and joy keep them!  And I still have them too this day!  I tried to spread the love by saying them but I created these books and wanted to keep them as keep sakes!  I even signed them and stuff!  But still I was told to keep them!
I am hoping that these author copies will go to a kid who might want , enjoy or need them for Inspiration to do good In the world! As I find that reading and writing are a positive and healing thing to do! At this point I wanted to keep them to give to a i might mentor!  I always dreamed of helping a kid get through there days with easy and knowledge instead of planking and fighting!   I should know if there was a wise person in my life that I would not want to do stupid sh*t in the first place!  In fact I remember rapping with another friend, mark!  With rap and slam poetry that i was able to see that I can change the world for the better through spoken word and writen word.  That being said I enjoy words!  To the point that I was rapping every night with this person!  Battle rapping!  That was the only battle rap I ever day was in 2022!  And it was to help young people stay clear of fighting and pranks and other stupid stunts that can land you in sh*t!   I was more of a bunddoox the horror core rapper that I was singing about the path that I walk and chose and that you don't have to through my words!  This one song y bundox was relevant in my life!

The path that that I walk

"We walk all alone
Always on our own
We walk all alone
Always on our own

I remember when life was a struggle
It ain't all roses now but back then it was double
I remember when
When I ain't have no pot
When you piss on the floor you stay pissed off a lot
I remember when I was searchin' for answers
In the house of a dealer in the arms of a dancer
I remember when I thought I was finished
You been down this road then give me a witness

We walk all alone
Always on our own
Get lost on the way
And sometimes need
To find the way home
But we walk all alone
X2

When you walk on your own and you ain't got crystal
The future you sees at the end of a pistol
Lookin for clues that end up in wrong places
So many troubles and so many faces
Got blood on my hands from some crooked decisions
Blood on my heart from some painful divisions
Askin myself if I would take it all back
No I wouldn't this is my path

I remember when I left you there cryin'
You was down on the floor and looked like you was dyin'
I remember when I seen you out drinkin'
Surrounded by dudes it felt like I was sinkin'
I remember when I pulled the fo-five
The safety was on and so you still alive
I remember when I was in holding stressin'
But lucky as hell cause they ain't find no weapon

So now that I'm grown and I'm thinkin' 'bout shit
'Bout the life that I lived and the things I did
All the ones do I hurt
And the ones who where there
All the people that fucked my and made me aware
You got to be strong to stand on your own
You gon' to do some wright and you gon' do some wrong
But when it's all over just lay there and laugh
You're dyin' alone but you stayed on the path"

-T.M.