OK! Warning: NSFW content below. Also, I have no experience writing smut or lemon so this parody will be worse than I originally wanted it to be probably soooooooooo yea.

ALSO! If you're, like, 10 or something.. Well, do whatever you want. God knows I can't stop you..

this is my internet legacy and I'm proud of it.

P.S: Yea this is a smut parody so? fite me beeyotch

X and I walk into the bar to be greeted by the sight of a familiar, hoodied face.

"Hey." He says, teleporting next to me. He caresses my cheek with affection. "This your gay friend?" Sans says, turning to X.

"Yeah, hot skeleton dude." X says back, drooling.

"What's with you lot?" I ask, bewildered. They snap out of the lust-induced haze that they're in to look at me.

"Hey, (Y/N), wanna fuck?" Sans asks.

"WHY OF COURSE, BONE DADDY!" I shout, jumping into his arms. (This is, like, the literal embodiment of the Undertale fandom lol)

"Good." He purrs, his voice lustful. "I wasn't taking no for an answer." 

"Perfect. Let's go home, Papyrus is conveniently somewhere else for the sake of the plotline, so I get you all to myself. Also, we're conveniently pretending X isn't here because the Author doesn't want to write a threesome." Sans says, his voice still lustful.

"Take me there, baby~" I purr, snuggling into his jacket. He teleports us into his room, a musky smell arising from beneath.

"Strip." Sans demands, his breathing unsteady.

"With joy." I say, taking off my clothing, revealing the lacy bra that I didn't previously have on.

"Mmm, I just want to eat you up, even though you're probably 11 in real life." Sans purrs, licking the bud of my right breast. "Bottoms too, baby."

"Ah~" I cry out, sliding off the black jeans to reveal a thong that I never put on. Sans licks his lips, positioning his face at my entrance.

"Don't squirm, babe." He says. A long, 12 INCH FUCKING TONGUE appears from his mouth. He licks around my clit for a bit, purposefully avoiding the area. I squirm, trying to get him to touch the sensitive nub.

"Sanss!" I whine, begging him to lick me. He chuckles slightly before plunging his blue APPARENT SECOND DICK BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO BIG into my wet cavern. My body immediately reacts to his pleasure inducing ways. It goes in and out, the tip of it hitting a spot that makes me cry aloud.

"Mmm.. You taste so damn good, baby~" Sans murmurs, slurping. I whimper, nearing my end. Before I can climax, Sans pulls out. I squirm, wanting more.

"Wha-" I ask, dazed.

"Not so fast, baby." He tuts. With one, swift motion, he pulls down his pants and boxers to reveal a 20 inch long glowing, blue penis. I drool at the thought of it FUCKING BREAKING ME AND CAUSING SEVERE INTERNAL BLEEDING BECAUSE JESUS POOP THAT'S BIG.

"Mmm~ So big." I moan, starting to finger myself to the thought of it. Sans stops me using his magic.

"Suck it." He orders.

"Of course, master. CHOKE AND KILL ME BECAUSE THERE AIN'T NO WAY THAT THING IS FITTING IN MY MOUTH!!" I say lustfully. Sans grins, forcing my head down on his vibrating cock.

"Mmm~ Your mouth feels so good, baby." He purrs, forcing my head up and down. I fight to gain control, running my tongue around his mass.

"Schoo.. Bigg.." I say, AS MY FINAL FUCKING WORDS BECAUSE SPEAKING IS JUST WASTING AIR ITS LIKE OH MY GOD HOW IS (Y/N) NOT DEAD? SHE SHOULD'VE SUFFOCATED A LONG TIME AGO!!

"Oh- My God." Sans groans, trying to muffle his sounds of pleasure. I accidentally run my down his impressive girth. He suddenly stops thrusting, and my mouth fills up with syrup BECAUSE ACCORDING TO THE UNDERTALE FANDOM, SKELETON CUM TASTES DELICIOUS.

"Mmm~ Blueberry." I say, Sans' penis no longer IN MY FUCKING VOCAL CORDS.

"Nah, Swap's not here." Sans smirks, BECAUSE IN SMUT, AUS ARE ALWAYS CANON.

"Ah." I squirm anxiously, my juices leaking onto Sans' bed.

"You're getting desperate, aren't you kitten?" Sans mentions seductively, moving towards me to nibble on my neck.

"Yes.." I moan, wanting more.

"Well, lucky for you, I'm desperate, too.. Desperate to savour your warm, delicious body.. To BITE YOUR SHOULDER BECAUSE THATS APPARENTLY A THING IN THE UNDERTALE FANDOM and taste your sweet, sweet blood." Sans drools. He licks my shoulder, planting hickeys along my arm.

"Please.." I whimper out.

"What?" Sans teases. "BEG FOR IT, BITCH! BECAUSE I'M A CLICHE DOMINANT MOTHERFUCKER!"

"Please!" I repeat, getting more desperate.

"Please what?" He demands.

"Please fuck me, Sans! I need you inside me!" I moan out, hugging Sans close to me.

"Why, of course. Good girls get what they ask for~" Sans purrs, growling. He pulls me close to him, hugging me tightly. In one, swift motion, he penetrates me, effectively taking my virginity.

"Sans.. Please go slow.. I'm still technically a virgin because of.. Ah~ The resets.." I moan out. Sans quickly shoves his full length into me, stopping there. He nibbles on my neck, massaging my breasts.

"Mmm.. Just from what I can feel now, you're so.. Ah~ So tight, warm, and J U I C Y." He growls, his large, 20 INCH FUCKING COCK twitching inside MY INTERNAL FLESH BECAUSE THERE'S NO WAY THAT THING HASN'T CAUSED SOME SERIOUS DAMAGE BY NOW. LIKE REALLY I FEEL BAD FOR THE CANON TORIEL!!

"Sans~ Move. I need more." I beg.

"No. I don't want to hurt you BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS A WEIRD MIX OF PSYCHOPATH AND CARING BOYFRIEND." Sans says lovingly. He's balls deep inside of me and acting like he doesn't want this.

"Just do it." I grunt, pleasure SOMEHOW beginning to take over EVEN THOUGH (Y/N) SHOULD BE FUCKING DEAD!!

"Fine. You asked for this, slut." Sans growls, grunting slightly as he begins to thrust INTO MY DEAD BODY YOU NECROPHILIAC!!

"Oooh!!" I moan out.

"Ah~" Sans grunts, picking up the speed of his relentless thrusting. "I'm.. Oh, God, I'm close." He moans.

"Me, too come inside AND MAKE ME PREgANANANANANANANANANANANAANNANANANANANANANANAnANT BECAUSE THIS IS A cLICHE FANFIC, baby!" I moan.

"Yes! Come with me!" Sans growls, thrusting even quicker, if thats POSSIBLE BECAUSE THERE SHOULD BE NOTHING LEFT TO FUCK BECAUSE MY BODY IS NOTHING BUT A POOL OF BLOOD AT THIS POINT.

"Yes!!" I groan. We both cum simultaneously, BECAUSE THIS IS A PERFECT VERSION OF REAL LIFE AND THIS IS A THING IN THE UNDERTALE FANDOM.

"Well, that was fun. I gotta get going, seeya, bye." Sans rushes out, disappearing. I pass out,

Time skip:

I'm lost without my Sansy because in the few moments we had a romantic relationship, I've grown very attached.

Time skip:

I've humped his pillow like, twice now.

Time skip:

I CANT LIVE WITHOUT HIM SANS IS LOVE SANS IS LIFE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I NEED HIM-

A/N: Ok, why did I write this, I need help lol. BTW I SUCK AT WRITING SMUT SOO.. yea.

ALSO I HAD TO SEARCH UP UNDERTALE SMUT CLICHES and BOY LET ME TELL YOU, DO I REGRET IT! not really my brain is already tainted.

This chapter is NOT CANON, this doesn't actually happen, Sans and (Y/N) are still PURE, INNOCENT SMOL BEA- no they aren't they never were.

Here's my theory; EVERY ONE ON THIS FUCKING PLANET CAME OUT OF THE WOMB WITH A LENNY FACE. fite me.

Anyways THAT'S THE END OF THAT CHAPTER, HOPE TO NEVER SEE IT AGAIN, K BUh-BYEEEEEE (Catchphrase in Progress)

P.S: BTW DID U KNOW THAT TWO YEAR OLDS DON'T HAVE KNEECAPS also happy april fools day.