The morning of his and Harry's wedding day, Louis was freaking out.

He tried his best not to think about, and just did everything in autopilot, but that only worked until they reached their venue, because when they got there, it was all so real.

The place was beautiful, it was an event venue in the countryside, and even though the ceremony and party were going to be indoors, the place had these wide windows that allowed a lot of light inside, and the greenery outside made a beautiful view. And now everything was being set up with flowers and plants, and he kept being asked questions that he wasn't sure about, and it was giving him anxiety.

"Lou, why don't you take the girls to the room we have to get ready?" Harry offered "I'll handle this".

"Yeah?" Louis asked feeling relieved.

"Yes" Harry said and gave him a kind smile "Go".

"Okay" Louis agreed "Come on girls".

The girls followed him to the room, and Louis dropped all the things they had brought on a sofa, and he poured himself a glass a water from a bottle that was in the room, and drank it all.

"Louis, I wanna go potty" Quinn announced.

"The bathroom's right there, darling" Louis told her and pointed at the bathroom door that was in the room.

Quinn went there, and Louis poured more water in the glass, and when he brought it to his mouth he realized his hand was shaking.

Why was he so nervous?

He was going to marry Harry, his Harry, the love of his life, there was no need to be nervous!

But he was, and he could feel a knot forming on his throat, and he couldn't get rid of it.

"Louis, this is my dress?" Willa asked as she tried to open one of the garment bags.

"Uhm..." Louis said distractedly, and then cleared his throat "One of those is yours but you have to get your hair done first".

Quinn came out of the bathroom then, claiming she couldn't reach the sink to wash her hands, so Louis helped her with that while he took deep breaths to try to calm himself.

Then the door opened, and in came Harry saying the hairdresser they had hired arrived, so he took Willa and Quinn with him, saying the hairdresser was going to workin in the room next door.

That left Louis alone, so he went to the bathroom, washed his face, then took more deep breaths, and just sat down for a while trying to calm down. Then he decided he just needed to put on his suit and not think about anything else.

He was putting on the cuff links on his shirt, when the door opened again, and it was Harry again bringing Willa back, who had her hair done beautifully, and even had a delicate flower crown incorporated into the hairstyle.

"Wow, you look beautiful, Willa" Louis told her.

"Can I wear my dress now?" Willa asked eagerly.

"Can you help her with that, babe? I want to keep an eye on Quinn" Harry explained.

"Sure" Louis nodded.

Harry smiled, and left again, and Louis finished putting his other cuff link, and then found the garment bag with Willa's dress in it. Both girls had tried on their dresses last week, and had been asking to wear them again ever since, so when Louis helped Willa with it, she was ecstatic.

It took a while for Quinn to came back, but when she did Harry said he would help change her, and told Louis to go get his hair done, so he did, and he sat on a chair without saying a word and just watched the hairdresser fix his hair while he felt like he was going to throw up.

When she said he was ready, and asked if he liked it, he just nodded, mumbled a thank you and left the room.

He knew he should go back to Harry and the girls, or maybe even go check if everything was ready, because he knew guests were going to be arriving soon, but instead, he just walked outside, not even wearing his suit jacket.

He saw some workers from the venue having a smoke break, and although he hadn't smoked in many years, he asked the lads for a cigarette, and they gave him one and offered a lighter.

The first inhale made him want to cough, but then he just puffed out the smoke, said thank for the lighter, and walked away from them.

Because they were in the countryside, the garden of the venue was huge, and Louis started to walk and walk while he smoked his cigarette and tried to get his head straight.

He tried to ask himself why he was freaking out so much...

Was it because he didn't want to be with Harry?

No... that wasn't the reason. He loved Harry, he loved him more than he had ever loved anyone, and he loved spending time with him and living with him.

Then what was it? Why was he so nervous?

Suddenly this phone rang in his pocket, which he took out and saw Harry's name and picture on the screen. But before he realized what he was doing, he had already turned the phone off, he needed a few more moments of being alone.

At some point he found a tree on the edges of the property, and he leaned against it, and tried to give himself a pep talk, and make himself go back.

But he couldn't, he just couldn't.

"Lou?" someone suddenly called.

Louis looked up, and was surprised to see his mother approaching him. She was wearing a dark blue dress with a jacket on top, and Louis thought she looked lovely.

"Harry's been looking for you, are you okay, love?" Jay asked him when she reached him.

"Do I look okay?" Louis asked back.

"What's going on?" Jay questioned, her voice soft.

"I don't know if I can do this, mum" Louis confessed.

"Why do you say that?".

"Because I'm..." Louis tried to explain, but then he stopped and finally was able to pin point what he was feeling "I feel like I've been pretending".

"What have you been pretending?" Jay asked.

"That I'm okay, that I have my life under control" Louis whispered "And if we get married Harry's going to see under that pretending, and he's going to see I'm the same mess he met 11 years ago".

"Honey, you're not pretending, you are okay and you do have your life under control" Jay assured him.

"Then why am I am freaking out and I feel like running away even though Harry is the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my life with him?" Louis questioned "Normal people don't think like that".

"A lot of people get nervous on their wedding day, it's normal" Jay said softly.

"I don't know mum, this doesn't feel normal" Louis shook his head "This feels like my mind messing with me".

"Lou..." Jay said, and didn't speak for a few seconds "Do you want to marry Harry?".

"Yes" Louis replied.

"Then that's all that matters" Jay assured him.

"No, because Harry doesn't know who I am".

"Do you want me to go get him? So you can have a proper talk?" Jay wondered.

Louis nodded his head a little.

"Okay, I'll go get him" Jay gave him a small compassionate smile, then a kiss on his cheek.

She walked away and as he watched her, his hands started to sweat, and he honestly felt he was going to pass out, specially when a few minutes later he saw Harry walking over to him.

"What's going on, babe?" Harry asked as he got to him.

"Harry, I have BPD" Louis declared.

"Why are you telling me as if I don't know?" Harry frowned.

"Because you don't know that I'm still crazy".

"How many times do I have to tell you not to use that word, it's so damaging to mental health issues" Harry pointed out.

"Harry, I'm serious" Louis insisted.

"Babe, I don't understand what's going on, you suddenly disappeared, you don't pick up the phone, then your mum tells me to come out here to talk to you, but you're making no sense" Harry recounted "What's happening?".

"I need you to understand what you're doing" Louis told him.

"You mean by marrying you?" Harry questioned.

"Yes".

"Of course I understand, I...".

"No, you don't!" Louis cut him off.

"Why do you say that?" Harry questioned.

"Because I've been lying" Louis declared.

"About what?" Harry frowned.

"About being okay and normal" Louis explained "I'm not okay Harry, especially right now, and I'm scared that if I marry you I'm going to end up hurting you and the twins".

"Why are you not okay right now?" Harry asked and gently held his face "Tell me".

"I don't know, I feel like... my mind is confusing me" Louis whispered "I'm not... I don't feel okay... I feel like I want to run away".

"You don't want to get married?".

"I do, but I don't want to hurt you like I did before" Louis said as his eyes filled with tears "That's why I need you to understand that I'm not the person you think I am".

"I know who you are, my love" Harry said, his tone still soft "You haven't lied to me, I know exactly who you are, and I love you for being you, flaws and all, and I want to be your husband because I know you're the one for me".

"I don't know if I can do it".

"You know what?" Harry suddenly said "Let's call off the wedding".

"What?" Louis asked surprised.

"You didn't want this, you told me you wanted to get married at city hall,  but I pushed for this wedding, and now it's affecting your mental health" Harry declared "So we'll tell everyone to go home, then we'll go on our honeymoon because I don't think we can get the tickets refunded at this point, and when we come back we'll go to city hall and get married there, how does that sound?".

"You mean that?" Louis asked wide eyed, and suddenly his hands stopped sweating, and he didn't feel like throwing up anymore.

"Absolutely" Harry nodded "I'll go tell everyone now, okay?".

Louis stared at Harry, trying to decipher if he really meant what he was saying, and when he nodded, Harry smiled, gave him a soft kiss on the lips, and turned around.

Was Harry really going to do this? Was he willing to send everyone home just for him? Just because he was nervous?

"Harry!" Louis suddenly called, and walked fast to catch up to him.

Harry turned around, and looked at Louis with expectant eyes.

"Don't do it" Louis said as he reached his fiancé "Don't cancel the wedding".

"Lou, it's okay" Harry assured him "I don't care about the wedding, I care about you".

"And I love you so much for that" Louis said sincerely "But you don't have to cancel the wedding, we can get married now, I want to get married now".

"Are you sure?" Harry asked.

"Yes" Louis nodded "Let's just do this, let's get married".

"Okay" Harry smiled.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry, and Harry hugged him back tightly, and it made him feel even more calm.

"I'm sorry for being so dramatic" Louis mumbled, while kept his face buried on Harry's neck.

"You're not dramatic" Harry denied "You were just nervous".

"Yeah..." Louis sighed, and let go of Harry "I'm okay now though".

"Good" Harry grinned.

"You look really handsome" Louis pointed out, because he honestly looked like a movie star.

"So do you" Harry replied with a smile, and gave Louis a kiss "You taste like cigarettes".

"That's because I smoked one" Louis said sheepishly.

"So you smoke now or...?" Harry hesitated.

"I don't, I just thought it could help me calm down" Louis shrugged.

"And did it?" Harry wondered.

"No" Louis denied "Only you helped".

Harry smiled, seeming happy about himself.

"How long until we walk down the aisle?" Louis asked.

Harry looked at his watch, and declared it was just 15 minutes until showtime, so they went back inside, and Louis went straight to find his suit jacket, and he also brush his teeth to get rid of the cigarette taste of his mouth.

The girls were waiting around with Harry's mum and Louis' nan, both of whom looked very nice too, and they all seemed oblivious to the situation, so both Louis and Harry pretended nothing had happened.

And then it was suddenly time for the ceremony to start, so everyone left the grooms with just the girls, as it would only be the 4 of them walking down the aisle; they had decided not to have best mens, and to walk down the aisle together, wanting to keep it simple.

The girls walked down first with their little baskets with petals, and then Harry and Louis followed, and they walked hand in hand.

Louis felt nervous as he walked and saw everyone there looking at them, but the warmth of Harry's hand in his made him feel better, and before he noticed, they had made it to the front.

The minister started talking, but Louis wasn't even listening, he was just focused on the fact that he was marrying Harry, and it truly felt like an out of body experience.

How had this even happened?

Was it real?

But Louis then had to focus, because the minister said that the time for vows had arrived, and Harry took a piece of paper out of his pocket.

"Lou" Harry said, and smiled at him before he read his paper "Last year I moved to Brighton with my girls looking for a new start, but I never imagined that I'd find you here, the boy with striking blue eyes that stole my heart when I was just 20 years old... the one that made me a dad for the first time. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was god's plan, or maybe it was a random coincidence, but whatever it was I'm thankful everyday that it happened. You are the one I want to spend the rest of my life with, the one I want by my side to raise my children and the one I want to love forever".

Harry paused, and looked at Louis again, who had been trying very hard not to get emotional, but he was losing that battle.

"Baby, I don't know what the future holds for us, but whatever that is, whatever challenges we'll have to face together I vow to always love you, to always support you, to listen, to understand you, to protect you, to always be there for you, and to make you the happiest man alive, because that's what you deserve, my Lou".

Harry then smiled and Louis had to carefully wipe the tears from the brim of his eyes, because he had felt Harry's love through his words.

"Louis, it's your turn" the minister told.

Louis nodded and took his own piece of paper out before, and took a deep breath before he started reading.

"Harry, I fell in love with you over 11 years ago, and even though we've spent most of that time apart, there hasn't been a day since in which I haven't loved you. I walked away from you once because I thought it was what I had to do, and for some miracle you decided you wanted to be with me again, which I will never take for granted, because I know second chances are rare. You are the most amazing, most forgiving, most caring person I've ever met, you've never judged me, you've always tried to understand me, even though I know sometimes I don't make any sense" Louis chuckled a little on those last words, and Harry smiled at him "You are the best father I've ever met, first to our Landon, and now to your girls, you are more that anything I could ever dream about in a husband, so trust me when I promise that I will never walk away from you again. Harry, I vow that I will never stop loving you, that I will always love your daughters as if they were mine, and that I will do everything that I can to make you and the girls happy".

When Louis finished, Harry gave him a kiss on the lips, which they weren't supposed to do at that point, but they didn't care. Then the ring exchange came, then they said 'I do', and finally they were declared married.

And of course that's when they kissed again, and this time it was a much longer kiss in which they wrapped their arms around each other.

"I love you, husband" Harry whispered when their lips broke.

"I love you" Louis said back grinning.

Everyone was cheering for them at that point, and when they let go of each other, they held hands, and each held the hand of one of the twins, and walked away from the aisle as a brand new family.

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A.N. I hope you liked this! I didn't want to write too much of the actual wedding because I know wedding chapters can be boring sometimes.

What do you think about Louis' freakout?

And what about Harry's response to it?

Let me know what you think!

Xoxo

P.S. I'm a massive Harry fan and I love his new song and I'm super excited about his new album, and to see him live in a couple of months. Are you guys excited for the album too?