E D I T E D

Pas de Deux by Dodie Clark, also known as Doddleoddle on Youtube. I dunno about you but this song is amazing and her voice is amazing and she's amazing okay.

songficsongficsongfic

i'm also going to be changing some of the lyrics to suit the story because in the song she talks about a girl but yeah that's it okay. mainly just pronouns and names :)

italics are the song, normal text is the story :)

warnings: controlling and rather unhealthy relationships (see video above before reading xx)

words: 1847

~Dan's POV~

Dan is a dancer

Just turned 16

Stares at boys who wear glasses

And look magazine

I slumped into my bed as I pulled out my phone and scrolled through tumblr.

I just turned 16 and my parents just had to leave for a business trip or something, so I'm left alone in the house.

My parents were at least decent enough to buy me a few pairs of leggings that were really perfect for dancing, and I was really grateful. They also got me a guitar (I'm still learning) and a shit load of money.

I sighed deeply and rolled my eyes as a Facebook comment appeared on my screen 'hah, look at this ugly fag.'

You see, I was the stereotypical 'gay boy', in my school apparently. I danced, I played piano (and hopefully guitar really soon) and I have a certain liking to boys who wear glasses.

Talking about boys with glasses, I'm pretty sure there's one right outside my door now.

Here comes Tommy

With glasses and all

Flowers in hands and ambitious plans

It's hard not to fall

I opened up the door to see Tommy, my 22 year old best friend, (or I-think-he's-my-boyfriend-I-really-love-him) standing at the door with flowers and chocolates in his hand as if it were Valentine's day.

"Happy birthday Danny."

At least I have him by my side.

"I have something really exciting to tell you!" And he talks to me about his accomplishments in life, how his career is really working out for him, being a policemen. "I'm not even joking, they're paying me soooo much! If we ... you know like ... get married or something," He takes a moment to look down and blush to his lap. "I would probably buy you everything in the world."

I attacked him in a hug. "I would only want you anyway."

He's walking on rivers

He lifts him above

He's full of belonging

And so full of love

We cuddled up on the sofa and watched some sort of movie that I didn't pay attention too. Tom was really beautiful.

'He's a pretty boy' I thought as I twirled his butterscotch hair.

He looked down at me and smiled as he placed a gentle kiss to my forehead, his eyes so full of love. I nuzzled my head under his chin in an affectionate way.

"I love you." I whispered as I drifted off into a peaceful and happy sleep.

"And I, you."

Things get a bit louder

Tommy's focused on plans

His smile's replaced with an aggressive face

But he'll still hold his hand

Tom's starting to get more involved with his work. He says he's doing it for the greater good of the world.

But I know he wants the money since that's all he's been talking about lately.

He's also been coming over a lot and giving me presents. When I say 'thank you' politely, he turns aggressive and yells at me for being rude and ungrateful for all the presents. A grand total of 21 gifts already.

I think it's the stress that's making him go mad.

I escape to the dance studio nearly every time in fear of him hitting me.

I still hold his hand and pepper him with kisses every once in a while so that he doesn't get mad at me. I don't think it's working.

Now he's given up dancing

Tommy says he's too old

He says 'focus on me' but he disagrees

While he does as he's told

"Dan, you're 17. Dancing's something 10 year old girls should be doing. You're getting old, you're getting weaker and weaker every single day. Why are you wasting your time on such a stupid girly thing? Get a good paying job like me! Stop laying on your fat lazy ass all day! Don't expect me to pay for everything you want in life! Stop going."

So I stopped.

I've always been dreaming to become a professional dancer, to learn a specific dance - probably ballet. It would be cool to learn a Pas de Deux with someone. Now my dream is crushed at Tommy is screaming at me to "Wake up! You need to make money you lazy fucking ass!"

Tommy also says that I don't pay attention to him anymore. He's starting to demand sex and more intimate things. I decline.

"Focus on me Dan! I need attention too! I've had a hard time at work already you fucking twat! Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Are you walking on eggshells

And when push comes to shove

Are you full of belonging

And not full of love

I feel as if I'm forcing myself to love Tom now.

Things are so different when he comes over to my house. Always complaining about work. Always giving me random gifts that I usually end up giving to the charity store whenever he's finally left my goddamn house.

I don't understand his mood swings and constant anger these days.

It hurts my heart. It's slowly breaking me apart. This isn't the Tommy I fell in love with, the one I used to dream of living with, adopting kids with. No, this is the Tommy that I live in fear of.

My fucking parents aren't ever even home anymore. Parental help would be great at this point.

I feel like I belong to him, not in love with him.

Back to the studio

Where he's told not to go

Feeling sick with guilt, the tension builds

As he opens the door

I've decided to go and do what makes me happy again.

I ran to the studio as fast as I could and slowly opened the door.

A voice broke out from the silence, a voice that wasn't mine.

"Hello?"

And what else would be there

But a trusting pair

Of strong bodies, lacking worries

Performing a Pas de Deux

Tommy is starting to get more into his future and job and doesn't see me for a long time. He visits around once a month. He gets angry every single time.

In happier news, I've been friends with Phil for a long time now. Ever since I first opened that door to the studio again. About a year.

We dance together after hours every other day.

"Hey Dan."

"Hey." I say as I walk into the dimly lit room.

"I was thinking of doing something different today."

"Hmm? And what's that?" I asked, stepping closer to him in the dimly lit room.

"How about we try learning Pas de Deux?"

"I - I don't know, Phil. I might not be strong enough, what if -"

"Dan. Dan, calm down. You're 18. I trust you."

My face broke out into a huge grin.

"Okay."

I am not right

Yes this is what's right

Souls and hearts and minds intertwined

No, I won't be defined by him anymore

I definitely need to break it off with Tommy as soon as possible now.

He's starting to 'stress drink' and he was close to hitting me when I didn't speak to him. He's visiting twice every single week now and he scares me every time.

"P-Phil?" I whispered as I opened the door of the old studio.

"Hey Da - hey, hey, shhhhh. What's up?"

I collapsed into him and told him all about Tom. About his sickening behavior. About him turning aggressive and rude. About his drinking. About him hitting me.

"I'm gonna break up with him. I don't wanna be his puppet anymore."

Phil looked deep into my eyes. "Let's dance this off for a while, yeah?"

"Yeah." I sniffed.

Are you walking on eggshells

And when push comes to shove

Are you full of belonging

And not full of love

"Tom. I'm leaving you. I don't want to be associated with you anymore. I'm moving out of my parent's house, I've already talked to them. I left you out of it. I'm moving away, okay? This is goodbye forever. And don't you fucking dare think of trying to follow me. I will tell the police force about your abuse."

Tommy quit the police force month ago now and started full on drinking and smoking. I think he's starting to do drugs as well. He says it's better for him and that it makes him feel free.

"Wh - Dan? Danny no!"

"Don't you fucking dare say my name ever again you fucking sick twat."

"I - I can change! I can change for you ... Okay? I promise, everything will be so much better. I stop the drinking. I'll quit smoking. Anything - anything to make you stay here with me Da -"

"Shut it. I've signed a contract. I've already got an apartment. I'm leaving. It's not like you care about me anyway. You spend every other night sleeping with other men and women anyway."

His face visibly paled. "We. We'll keep in touch, yeah?"

"In your fucking dreams."

And I stormed out his house and ran to the studio where I would meet Phil.

I felt so free.

So goodbye to Tommy

And hello to Phil

He doesn't wear glasses, but he loves how he dances

And he'll hold his hand

"Phill?"

"Yeah Danny?"

"Can you make me breakfast pleaseeee."

He walked into my room carrying a tray of food and tea.

"Already did sweetie."

"You're so cheesy shut up." I grinned and he slid under the covers next to me.

"I wouldn't ever be something I hate Danny."

"Thanks for the breakfast."

"No problem. I wuvvvv youuuuu." He said as he nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck and looked up at me.

"I love you too." I gave him a short sweet kiss.

"Ewwww." He jumped up and out of the covers. "MORNING BREATH ALERTTT NEE NAW NEE NAW NEE NAW!"

"Shut up."

Yes, Dan is a dancer

With plans of his own

You'll see him and his partner

Performing a Pas de Deux in the old studio

"Err, Hello Internet." I smiled and waved at the camera set up in the old dance studio.

I was now 24, Phil 28. We were both successful Youtubers and dancers. And lovers.

"Phil and I want to show you our little Pas de Deux dance today. So yeah, I hope you enjoy!"

He's walking on rivers

He lifts him above

He's full of belonging

And so full of love

They're walking on rivers

He lifts him above

They're full of belonging

And so full of love

They're so full of love