E D I T E D 

THIS IS A FETUS CHAPTER BY THE AUTHOR. AUTHOR DOES NOT LIKE THIS CHAPTER. AUTHOR IS SORRY.

(future note from author ; YOU WROTE A ONESHOT BASED ON THAT CRUMBLY ASS MEME O HMY GOD I'M DISAPPOINTED NO ONE NEEDED THIS k thanks)

what.

ALSO GUYS I'M THINKING OF MAKING A BOOK. WHAT IF I MADE A BOOK WITH LIKE FEM!PUNK!DAN AND PASTEL!PHIL WOULD YOU READ IT BECAUSE I THINK I MIGHT MAKE ONE I HAVE LIKE A LOT OF A STORY PLANNED ALREADY SO YEAH SHOULD I OR SHOULD I NOT COMMENT PLEASE TY LY <3 (future me (again) - this idea has been abandoned, sorry)

this is so short i'm sorry you deserve better.

words: 828

warnings: i mean if shoving breadsticks into your purse offends you then

~Dan's POV~

"So, urrmm, how you doing?" I asked stiffly. My friend Louise said that she was tired of me moping around by myself with no friends so she decided to set me up with one of her friends. Catrina or something. She seems nice.

"Great, great!" She beamed at me in the most positive way possible and I couldn't help but give a small smile back. "What's your favourite food?"

I noticed that she had a slight American accent. "I like all food really. I'm also pretty lazy, which is a great combination if you ask me."

She laughed and we picked up on a deep conversation talking about our favourite animals, our favourite bands, our favourite everything, really.

Cat (she likes that name more than Catrina) laughed when I told a 'really funny' joke as the waitress came along with two small servings of dough balls and breadsticks after we had finished out pizza's. I reached straight for the breadsticks and nibbled on one. I ordered more breadsticks.

This one question determined if we were meant to be or not. If not, I think that we'd still be pretty good friends. We already exchanged phone numbers. She's pretty cool, if not a little flirty.

"D'you like anime?"

"Anime? What, no way. It's gross like, half the time the girls are like, naked, right! The animation is crappy really and everyone keeps on saying that allll the anime boys are hot. I think so otherwise, to be honest. And what's so good about that Free! anime everyone talks about? That Haru guy, or whatever his name, is really a show-off."

I stopped chewing my breadstick. No way. Stop. Nope.

I shoved as many breadsticks into my bag as I could whilst saying, 'I'm sorry. I have to leave. Right now. Immediately."

I threw some cash onto the table and walked out as fast as I could. I knew that girls never worked out! Maybe I should try dating boys ...

I thought my exit was going to be fluid - walk out the door, walk home, change into comfy clothes, get ice-cream and watch netflix all night. 

But nope, some tall guy got in my way. I sighed deeply, hoping that Cat wouldn't come up behind me and start asking more questions.

"Sorry could you -" I looked up at him and oh my fucking lord. He looks exactly like Haru. 

"I saw you shoving breadsticks into your bag very hurriedly, have you paid?" 

I realised that he was in really nice fitting jeans and a button-up shirt - he probably works here. "Urmm, yeah. Actually. That table." I indicated to the table that Cat and I sat at. I heard the most prettiest laugh in the entire history of laughs then looked back at Haru-lookalike.

"Leaving the lady to pay, hmm?"

"Oh urr." I got bashful, his smile was the brightest and, to be honest, he was way too cute for my own good. "No. Actually, I left some money there before leaving."

"And why was that?" 

"Oh urr ..." Well, this was awkward. Before I could actually filter and process my thoughts, I started blabbing. "Basically, she criticized one of my favourite characters from one of my favourite anime, Haru from Free! - which you look a lot like, by the way - and she started talking about how anime boys aren't hot I mean they are hot as fuck where has she been! And she called the animation crappy! I mean, I had to leave, didn't I? Fuck. I feel bad for talking about her now."

"Swearing's a bad habit." He smiled gently down at me. Oh yeah, he's taller than me, only by a bit though. "Also, you said that I looked like Haru from Free!, correct?" I blushed a bit and nodded, "You also said that anime boys are 'hot as fuck', right? Are you implying that I'm hot or ..."

I blushed deeper than I ever had before.

"Because I don't mind. You're cute yourself. What's your name?" He leant closer to me.

"D-dan. Dan."

"Well, Dan, I'm Phil and my shift ended 2 minutes ago. Do you wanna do something together?"

"I-I. Y-Yeah. Yeah, that'd be cool."

I opened up my bag as we walked out together and got out two breadsticks. I passed one to Phil.

"These breadsticks are my shit."