I opened my eyes. It was dark. A dim light of the lanterns outside shone through the curtains. I squinted my eyes, trying to scan through my environment. It oddly looked just like my bedroom. I turned on the switch of the lamp on my night stand and the light revealed my own familiar sleeping room. 

I instantly examined my body, but there were no injuries.

Was everything just a dream then? Did the scene between Soonyoung and Minah never occur?

I looked from behind Jisoo's back when he suddenly had dropped his ice cream.

A feeling already told me not to look, but curiosity took over me and I did.

I wasn't in the position to be like this. We weren't even in a relationship. Yet, why did it feel as if I've lost myself once again?

It felt as if my heart was shredded into a thousand pieces, as if my feelings were stepped onto like dirt on the streets. 

Seeing the two kiss was like getting stabbed in the heart. Not once or twice but many times. It made me realise that I, never was going to receive the same love they did. 

I would have been fine if it had been one-sided. But, from my point of view, it wasn't. The way he kissed her back, made me understand that I would never be able to give him that much love back either.

I felt pain.

I ran away from them, unable to face them. And then got into a car accident.

At least, that was what I thought.

My eyes drifted off from the hand that was holding mine to the boy that was crouched over my bed sheets. His arms covered his face, as his head was faced down. His messy hair and his recognisable clothing style, made it already obvious who it was.

Why was he even here? We never made up, and did he just think he could infiltrate my house? I didn't understand why my mum even let him inside.

I carefully wringed his hand out of mine, moved the covers to one side and stepped down my bed. I saw him whimper a little by my sudden movement and turn his head to one side, revealing his face. His eyes stayed closed, making me notice the long black lashes he had. 

Did he not have it cold sleeping there? He was wearing only a denim jacket and a thin shirt underneath. I sighed before pulling one side of the bed covers and putting it over him.

After that, I quietly slipped to the door and left the room.

Walking down the stairs, I looked at the clock that hung above the door and saw that it was already 3:04 P.M. Strange, because it was dark outside. The clock must be broken.

Entering the living room, I saw my mother sitting on the couch, reading something. I couldn't see her expression as the newspaper covered her face. The room was enlightened by only one lamp next to her.

"Mom." I called her softly.

She slowly lowered the newspaper, her eyes were filled with worry. She folded the paper and placed on the table next to her. Standing up, she walked towards me, still with the saddened look.

Once she pulled me into a hug, I knew something was wrong. She stroked my hair, as if she was trying to calm me down from the bad news she was going to give me.

Yet, she didn't say anything, only stayed in the same position, not uttering a single word for minutes.

I felt uneasy with the silence around us.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I asked her, concern build up.

"I'm so sorry for you." She started, she sounded sad.

"Why are you like this. Is there something wrong?" I felt stressed, as if the news she was going to deliver, was going to hurt me.

"Soonyoung got into an accident."

"W-wha-what a-are you talking about?"

"He saved you and got hit instead."

"H-how is he right now?"

"I heard that his condition is really bad." She gulped, not sure how to say the next thing. "He might not make it."

It all sounded like a joke to me. It couldn't be true. Soonyoung was probably alright. Everyone was just fooling me. This was just a bad dream. I wasn't awake right now. Soonyoung couldn't be dying. That couldn't be.

Dazed, I didn't know what to do. My knees lost strength and I fell to the ground.

If he really was going to die, then why was I not by his side?

I needed to see him.

Ready to exit the house, I slammed the door open only to be held back by someone.

I turned around and tried to loosen his grip, but it stayed firm.

"Seungcheol let go of me!" I desperately cried out. Tears threatened to fall. What if I never saw Soonyoung again? It was because of me that he got into a freaking accident. If he died I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

"I don't want to see you hurt!" He yelled back.

"If I don't see him now, I might regret it!" I shouted back, still resisting his grip.

"He's not going to survive anyway, Hyejin." He added.

I knew that. I wanted to spend his last moment at least together.

"Then let me go see him." Tears streamed down my face. I slowly lost strength but knew I shouldn't.

"I don't want to see you in more pain."

"Since when did you ever care, Seungcheol?!" I spat back, anger slowly boiled up.

"You never did." I whispered the last part.

He suddenly wrapped his arms around me, hugging me tightly. It was warm, familiar, as if I had been longing for this.

"I always did, Hyejin. And I still do." Those words I had been wanting to hear, sounded like a dream, it was too surreal.

"We can be like before." He tilted my chin, making me face his sincere looking face.

I almost fell for it, weren't it for the empty words he spoke, I would have stayed.

***

No one was sitting on the chairs that were placed next to the door. No one was there, not even his family.

I hesitantly entered the room. Already hearing the beeping sound of the life-support, I looked everywhere except for on the bed.

I could hear him breath with much difficulty. I walked to the window, staring outside. I was scared to face him.

"Hye...Jin?" His voice was rough and hoarse. The mask that supplied him oxygen, made it difficult for him to talk.

Slowly, I turned to him. I cowardly closed my eyes, not daring to look.

"Hyejin?" He repeated, this time it was slightly clearer as he had taken off his mask.

I opened my eyes, seeing the bandages around his head, the stitches and bruises on his face and arms. 

It looked as if life had been drained out of him and it was all my fault.

If only I hadn't ran away like a coward or at least looked out where I walked, this wouldn't have happened.

"I'm so sorry, Soonyoung. I'm sorry." I kept repeating myself because no matter how many times I apologised I couldn't make it up to him. Guilt would stay deep inside my heart.

He weakly moved his hand to my head and patted it softly.

"It's okay." He paused, took a breath and continued. "I'm alright. Don't worry." He had to use a lot of effort to say those words.

"You aren't, Soonyoung. I know that. It's all my fault." I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"No." He coughed, pain was evident on his face as he clutched his stomach that had been wrapped in bandages. "It isn't."

He seemed to be hurting. And tired, as if the moment he closed his eyes, he wouldn't wake up again.

Upon that thought, I started feeling helpless. Without myself knowing, a tear rolled down my cheek.

Soonyoung noticed my tears that seemed endless, and shot me an assuring look.

He intertwined his hand with mine, securely. 

I felt useless. He was laying there, life was slowly drained out of him and I couldn't do a single thing. It made me feel powerless and even more bitter.

How was I going to live in a world without him? He was there when I was going through bad times. He was the one who held my hand when I couldn't hold his. He was the one who taught me to love again.

I didn't want to live in a world without him.

"Don't cry, Hyejin. It makes you look ugly." He joked, but his eyes only contained grief. 

"Then, why are you crying?" I sobbed, my voice was frail and I couldn't utter understandable words.

Tears streamed down from his glassy-looking eyes, he tried to blink them away but failed. I used my thumb to wipe away his tears, something he always did to me.

He forcibly put a smile on, trying to make me feel better. Yet, his lips quivered and he was unable to maintain his smile.

Seeing his once so beautifully pink lips turn into an ugly pale purple, made me realise he was really not going to make it.

Breathing in and out had become harder for him and his eyes were threatening to fall close. 

"Don't go." My voice cracked. 

His skin had turned even paler than it already was and he looked cold and uncomfortable.

I held both of his hands that were ice cold, hoping he would warm up.

"Hyejin, I need to tell you this." He lifted his hand, signalling me to come closer.

I leaned in, our faces were close. I stared right at him, focussed what he wanted to say.

"Closer." He huskily demanded.

Up close, I got lost in his dark brown eyes that still showed a bit liveliness. 

He tilted his head and gently planted a kiss on my lips. 

It was rather short and he soon pulled away, leaving a warm feeling on my lips.

"I love you." I saw another tear escape his eye while he shot me one last smile. The shine in his eyes was gone and his eyes only started to look more empty.

He closed his eyes, opened them, but then closed them again. He didn't open.

My eyes instantly shifted to the life-support. His heart rate was decreasing.

"Soonyoung. No, I'm so sorry." I started panicking, I couldn't bear to see this. He couldn't go, he couldn't leave me here all alone.

"Please, stay. I can't do this without you here." I wailed, I couldn't stop crying.

It was as if the world had stopped when the machine stopped beeping and his heartbeat had become one line.

I held his cold lifeless hands, wanting to feel his warmth again, but it was no use. 

He was gone, and would never return to my side again.

"Soonyoung." I cried my heart out, unable to accept the truth. It couldn't be true. 

Doctors came rushing into the room and tried reanimating him. Yet, his lifeless body didn't show a sign of a heartbeat.

Knowing it was useless, they stopped. A nurse put a blanket over him.

I remained there unmoving, still staring at his body that had been covered.

Soonyoung was gone.

***

I felt alone. Nothing could warm up my world again. The light was gone and I was engulfed in darkness, unable to see anything but black. The world seemed nothing more than emptiness and pain. Even I didn't feel as if I was living anymore. Right now, I was just an empty vessel with no content.

"Wake up, Hyejin." A voice spoke.

***

I tried to write a sad scene but...I'm not sure whether it worked out. Maybe if you add some sad music to it, it might work.

I know I said this before and sorry if you find it annoying but if you're interested, I have another svt ff, but I only have 2 chapters on it. It's a bit different from this one.