"May?"

Wait. What?

I pulled myself away from Jay. I could tell he realised what he said because he stood up from the swing the same time I pulled away from him.

"What did you say?" I said half confused and shocked.

"I meant April. I love you too April." He nervously laughed.

He stepped away from the swing and took a step towards me. I stepped back.

"It was a mistake April, I didn't mea-"

"You don't actually like me do you"  There was an ache in my chest. As if I was punched on the chest a million times. My eyes were filling up with tears that threaten to fall out.

"What are you talking about? Of course I do. April listen to me I-"

"You love May not me!" At this point, the tears in my eyes were flowing down my face. "Jay I'm not May."

I found it difficult to speak at this point. My words were slurred and inaudible from all the hiccups.

Jay took a step closer again, this time he tried to grab me and hold me. I saw and pushed him away harshly.

"All the things we've done together, do you only see me as May?" Jay wasn't looking at me anymore but more to the ground. "The lake, the horse riding even the ball, was it all because I looked like May?"

I was thinking about all the things we got up to and how all the recent events lead to this. Then I realised, Jay hadn't said my name is so long.

"You didn't say my name to the crowd" I said quietly but I was sure Jay could hear me.

Again he didn't answer. I stood there wiping the tears that fell down my face.

"How do I get out of here."

Jay looked up once I said that. His face held a pain expression.

"What?" Was all he could say.

"I want to go back."

"You can't."

"Jay I'm sick of this bullshit!"

I turned around and started walking from the garden and towards the castle. I could hear Jay yelling at me to come back but I just slammed the gate into his face.

When I was inside the castle I broke down. I held my face in my hands my and the wall that held my tear collapsed. My own tears mere falling from my hands. I wasn't even in my room.

Eventually I made my way towards my room. And because the ball ended not too long ago there were maids and servants rushing around everywhere and cleaning. I tried my best to avoid them but I just stopped caring. They looked at my puffy face and bloodshot eyes and tears running down my face but I stopped caring honestly. None of them had the courage to ask me what was wrong but neither did I want to tell them.

I opened my room door and slammed it shut making sure I locked it. I fell to the floor and continued crying. I sat by the door hugging my knees crying for who knows how long.

This world was no longer a place I wanted to stay in. I wasn't supposed to be in this world anyway, I was brought in mistakened for someone else. Everything in me hurts. Not just my heart or my feelings, my body hurts too. This dress was heavy and tight making it hard to move and breath. The heels felt like needles that stabbed into my feet.

I got up ignoring all the aches in my body. I ripped the heels off and pulled the dress off of me, not caring that I ripped the dress. I never liked dresses in the first place. I ripped the corset off me too leaving me fully naked. I grabbed the first piece of clothing I could find which was the dress I wore when I first entered this world. I don't mind though, it's more comfortable than the ball gown.

When I finished tying the dress around me that's when I noticed something I didn't before. There at the centre of the bed, laid a gun.

A gun?

How did it even get in here?

I made my way to the bed, slowly approaching the lethal weapon. I've never seen a gun before let alone touched or used one before.

I reached for the gun, reaching for it before lifting it up. It was quite heavy for its size. It looked brand new and unused. It was already loaded with it's safely lock on.

That's when it hit me.

"The only way out" I said barely above a whisper.

I looked at the gun in my hand. I could feel my palms begin to sweat, a lump was forming in my throat and my heart was beating faster than before.

My fingers brushed along the safety lock, reluctantly unlocking it.

*click*

I slowly raised the gun to my head. I cried so much that I couldn't cry anymore but there were already tears streaming down my face. I was sobbing at this point.

Suddenly there was banging on the door.

"April! April please open the door!" It was Jay.

My hands were shaking really badly while the gun was raised to my head, my tears were pouring a lot faster than before.

The door busted opened revealing an incredibly distressed Jay. His eyes were shocked to the scene in front of him.

"April. No."

Tears were now streaming down his face.

"Please"

He started slowly approaching me. I shook my head as the tears covered my vision.

"It's the only way out."

That was the last thing I said before everything disappeared. The last thing I saw through my blurry vision was Jay screaming while he ran to me but everything else was black.

"April? April! You're finally awake."

My eyes fluttered open, I was in an unfamiliar room with machines everywhere. I looked up to see the receptionist that always forgets my name. Then I realised,

I'm back.

11/11/20

Hey hey, so I just wanted to say I'm gonna be infrequently updating sorry. btw I just finished watching ENHYPEN&hi, it was so funny.

edited...