the days began to inch by ever so slowly.
and i hated this dreading feeling so much.
every night i'd walk to the park,
hoping stanley would be there.
but every night,
i ended up shivering and being disappointed.
how could i make it up to him?
i had allowed my self absorbed act ruin us yet again.
and stan was right,
i was being toxic.
and a boy like him,
a boy so sweet and loving,
didn't deserve that in the slightest.

when i arrived to class that friday,
my heart throbbed at the sight of the curly headed boy in front of me.
"hey, sweets."
richie winked,
his index finger pushing those thick glasses up his nose.
"can i help you?"
"we're going to the quarry again today. wanna come?"
i bit my bottom lip as my eyes trailed over to stanley,
and i watched as his pencil dragged across the notebook paper in an attempt to stray away from this conversation.
"i'd think it'd be best for me to stay home. thanks for the invite though."
i sighed,
giving him a soft smile.
"well if you change your mind-"
"don't worry, richie, she'll probably be there. she's real good at not keeping her word."
stan interrupted,
his cold eyes piercing through me.
my mouth fell agape for a second,
"stanley-"
i started,
but then quickly stopped.
i had already said enough,
and there was nothing left for me to say or do.
"oh, let me guess, you two aren't friends anymore? i'm getting lost here, guys."
richie snickered,
his head shooting back and forth to stan and i.
"it won't happen again anytime soon. she's got better friends, apparently."
i let my teeth sink into my bottom lip so forcefully,
it drew blood.
and while i knew the whole class was whispering about our sudden argument,
i didn't care.
i let my eyes stay on stanley,
because he was all i cared about in this moment.