"you're sick! you need help!"
my mother yelled from their room,
the walls much too thick to hide their hurt.
i sighed into the pillow case beneath me,
growing annoyed with the senseless bickering.
after growing annoyed with it,
i then slipped my old shoes on,
slid out of the window,
and found comfort in the stillness of the night around me.
i let my feet guide me to wherever they may please,
which ended up being in the park.
i smiled and laid myself in the tunnel of the slide,
letting the memories replay themselves in my mind.
it was no surprise that i subconsciously ended up here.
this is where stanley and i had spent every waking moment together.
and in light of the recent days,
i knew i needed a relief from the anger between us.
i ran the tips of my cold fingers over the cracks in the plastic slide,
where stanley and i had engraved a message for those to see.
a message and a lifelong promise:
"stan and y/n. best friends for life."
i felt the hot tears cloud my vision at the sight,
and with one blink,
my cheeks were glistening in the faint light of the park.
i let all of life's frustrations pour out into my sudden breakdown,
and i found my lungs burning from the lack of air.
i had been so caught up in trying to play this facade,
i left myself vulnerable to the rest of my dreadful life.
i was miserable and i had never felt so lonely in my life.
and knowing that it was all my fault made the hurt deepen.
but i think aside from it all,
having stanley uris hate me with everything in him made me cry a little harder.
i shut my eyes and began silently praying,
hoping i'd be sent an angel to help me build a better life.
"y/n? is that you?"
the honeyed voice i knew all too well asked.
my eyes widened,
and i hurried to wipe my face clear of any tears.
"stanley uris? isn't it past your bedtime?"
i joked,
getting up to meet him.
"i could ask you the same."
the both of us shared a soft laugh in the night,
the silence soon enveloping us.
"hey, y-you okay?"
he asked with his hands shoved into his pockets.
"yeah, perfect. why do you ask?"
"you always had a habit of biting your lips when you're upset. and you're, you know, biting your lips."
"huh, didn't know that. but, yeah, no, i'm fine."
he shook his head with a smile so soft,
i felt my ribcage swarm with nerves.
"talk to me."
he stepped close enough that the wind could send his dizzying scent to the depths of my lungs.
"i'm fine, really. i'm fine."
"you told me earlier that you wanted to talk. so here we are. talk."
i couldn't avoid his eyes anymore,
and looking into them only sent a sudden flood of comfort within me.
they were so warm and inviting and i found myself completely lost within them.
he grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze,
and there my eyes began to swim with tears again.
he sat us on the swings,
and i began.
starting with my parents:
the arguing,
the yelling,
the sounds of slamming doors,
the sounds of breaking glass.
"it's impossible to escape. and they just look so miserable."
"stay away from it, y/n. i know it's hard but every time they argue, think of something that makes you happy. and makes you smile. then, you won't even hear it."
he winked.
i nodded my head with a small laugh,
taking his advice to heart.
and i knew that from this day forward,
my thoughts would be full of stanley uris even more than usual.
"and with school.."
i began,
watching his eyes harden for a split second.
and i couldn't blame him.
but i continued talking,
ignoring the subject of fake friends and focusing on the piled schoolwork that currently laid undone in my book bag.
"just take it one subject at a time, y/n. stop stressing yourself out. and...understand you're already so smart. you just need to be around the right people to bring it out."
he smiled carefully with a slight bitter tone.
"anything else you want to rant about?"
"now that you've asked...can we talk about us?"
the creaking from the swing stopped.
and his eyes connected with mine.
"um, yeah. yeah, let's talk."