"yeah...later,"
i waved to the girls before me,
walking towards the path i took home.
the cement of the sidewalk hummed against my heels,
and i found a strange sense of comfort in the rhythm.
but it was soon cut short by a hand grasping my shoulder,
and turning me around.
i couldn't fight the laugh that slipped past my lips as i faced richie tozier.
"hey hot stuff."
"get your hand off of me, perv."
i shrugged his hand off of me,
then continued my walk home.
"y/n?"
the soft voice called out.
i stopped once again,
squeezing my eyes shut in frustration,
but ultimately turning on my feet to meet him.
"stanley."
i smiled,
eyeing the roads around me for lingering classmates.
"can i ask you something?"
he questioned,
holding his books close to his chest.
"sure. hurry though, will you?"
"when did you become so...fake?"
the words from his once sweet lips were harsh and made my heart sink.
but i couldn't stop myself from finding comfort in his warming eyes.
"w-what?"
"you became so-so different after middle school. after you and eric went out, you started hanging out with the same people we made fun of. you hated them! but yet, you left me...left me for them."
his question soon became a time for him to insult me,
and i knew this was years worth of anger being spilled.
"im sorry! but how was i supposed to bring you with me? you've always been such a loser, stanley! be honest with yourself."
i shrugged,
folding my arms across my chest.
and though the words were a result of my ego being attacked,
i still found the heavy guilt piling within me.
"you know...a part of me thought this was an act for your little friends, or whatever. that-that you were making yourself out to be this mean girl. but now i see you clearly. you're nothing but a shallow, empty, bitch."
and those were his final words to me.
he turned and began walking home,
leaving me to stand frozen.
i tried to roll my eyes to play it off,
but stan's words were echoing throughout my mind.
and those same eyes began filling to the brim with tears.
"stop it, stop it, stop it!"
i groaned to myself,
soon entering the door of the place i called home.
"hey honey! how was school?"
my mother asked,
that sad smile she always wore planted on her face.
"great. i'm-i'm just a bit tired. so i'm gonna take a quick nap."
i smiled weakly,
walking past her and into my room.
i locked the door and hurried to my bed,
letting the mattress swallow me whole.
i couldn't feel sorry for myself,
not if i'm the one to blame for this mess.
because as good as i want to be,
i made myself this way.
and in the end,
i left stanley uris.