CHAPTER I - SOLITUDE



SIMONE'S POV


I am Simone, 23. I stand 5'9" tall with mid hair length. I am Bicol raised but Manila based. 3 years narin akong nakatira sa Manila dahil after graduation ay dito ko na rin naisipang mag trabaho.


Though I am not a typical Manila Girl at the moment because of my tanned skin I get from this 'vacation'.


Andito ngayon ako nagbabakasyon sa isang family resort ng best friend ko since college, na si Raegar Escudero dito sa Sorsogon.


I'm actually loving my stay here. This is not my first time but I can say that this place is my sanctuary. This is a surfing spot so the waves here are extraordinary. The explosion of the breaks of the swell of waves are truly divine.


Malayo 'to sa city proper. Far from the noise, pollution and far from heart aches.


"Sim! Tara! Dinner na tayo!" Lumapit sa akin ang isang matipunong lalaki. Only wearing his board shorts. Exposing his tanned broad shoulder and killer abs and well toned biceps. Ang hot naman ng best friend ko. Yum!


He's Raegar, Rae for short, siya ang nagmamanage ng kanilang resort at the moment. Pero kahit parati siyang busy ay hindi parin niya ako napapabayaan.


"Coming!" Sagot ko naman habang tumatayo ako mula sa pagkakaupo sa dalampasigan.


Rae prepared a superb dish called "Fish outta hell". So it's basically a mixed seafood with coconut milk and labuyo.


Kinuha ko ang aking smartphone at kinunan ng litrato ang dish niya. Natawa si Rae habang pinapanood niya ako.


Rae: Seriously? Blogger duties. And what's with the hashtag?


Sim: Alin? Etong #SIMFinally?


Rae: Yup! Ano pa ba?


Huminga ako nang malalim, muli siyang tinitigan. Matagal ko na 'tong napag isip-isip, siguro ay panahon na.


Sim: Magco-convert na ako Rae.


I said quietly, but Rae's face is blank. Nalilito.


Rae: What? Sa anong religion naman?


Habang umiinom ng tubig.


Sim: No! I mean, I'd go straight na. Magpapakababae na ako.


Halos masamid si Rae sa narinig. Hindi ko maintindihan ang itsura niya. He's like celebrating.


Rae: Woah! Simone? Is that you? So, straight girl kana? So pwede na tayo?


Sim: What? Tayo agad? Haha!


But suddenly Rae's mood became serious.


Rae: Seriously Sim, alam ko kung ano ang pinanggagalingan mo sa desisyon mong 'to. I already told you once, your relationship with Summer won't last long. Not because you're not capable but you are in a LDR, then we know that lesbian are so emotional, possessive. You easily get attached to someone, fall for someone na nagpakita lang sainyo ng katiting na malasakit.


What a strong justification by Rae. But true.


I take a deep breath then stare at Rae again.


Sim: Bakit mo alam? Lesbian ka? Hahaha!


Rae: Ulol! Observation ko from you.


Sim: From me? Seriously?


Rae: From Iza, to Desiree, and there's Camille, sino pa ba? Then Summer.


Sim: But Summer is different you know that.


Rae: Oo! Ibang-iba! Kaya nga andito ka nanaman ngayon sa resort namin nag mumukmok with your hurting ass.


Rae said sarcastically, habang dinuduro duro ang noo ko.


Sim: Grabe ka sa akin!


*FLASHBACK


Summer held my hand. I looked at her. Then I see my other half. My Summer. By the way, I am the bottom in our relationship.


Summer: Done checking on me babe?


Sim: You are just so hot.


Niyakap niya ako. At patuloy kaming nanood at nagsayaw sa saliw ng musika dito sa Azur Summer Party.


Summer: It's already 12 am babe!


Tiningnan ko ang relo ko. Oo nga. Nakatingin siya sa akin habang nakayakap.


Sim: Oo nga pala. May 29th ; our May 29. Happy Anniversary babe.


Summer: Happy Anniversary babe. I love you.


Then she kisses me passionately. This is our time. This is our love that we are celebrating.


Sim: I love you more my Summer.


Summer: Ang swerte ko sayo. I promise you, no one's gonna take you away from me. You are made for me Sim. You are mine.


Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit. Halos maluha na ako dahil sa pagbuhos ng emosyon ko para sa babaeng na kapiling ko ngayon. Overwhelming.


Sim: I am yours.


***


She was my rock. She was my everything. Lahat kaya kong isakripisyo para sa kanya. Everything, my norms, my goals to build a new one with her. She was my life. Until that day came.


***


Magkausap kami via Skype ni Summer. Dahil nasa probinsya siya, ako naman ay nag ttrabaho dito sa Manila.


Sim: Kailan ka susunod dito babe? I miss you. Pinaayos ko na ang condo ko for you. Look.


Kinuha ko ang laptop ko at inilibot ang screen para makita niya ang palibot ng condo.


Pero tahimik parin siya. Kinabahan na ako.


Sim: Summer,may problema ba babe? Tell me.


At bigla na lang siyang umiyak. Tinakpan niya ang mukha niya at patuloy na lumuha.


This scene is killing me right now. Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. Seeing her like this kills me.


Summer: I am so sorry Sim.


Naguguluhan ako. May ginawa ba siya? Bakit siya nag aapologize?


Sim: Bakit ka nag so sorry? What's wrong?


Nagsimula nang sumikip ang dibdib ko and all my ideas are cramming deep down my throat.


Summer: Wala, I just miss you so bad. As she wipes her tears.


Sim: I miss you too. Pumunta ka na nga kasi dito sa Manila.


Muli siyang tumingin sa akin.


Summer: I can't.


Sim: Why? Anong pumipigil sayo? Okay naman tayo kina Tita, nag resign kana sa work mo diyan. Ano pa ba?!


Halos sigawan ko na ang screen ng laptop ko.


Summer: It's Erin.


Fck. Erin.


Sim: Your ex? What about her?


Summer: Mahal pa daw niya ako. Erin wants me back Sim.


I almost drop. Pakiramdam ko ay nanghina ang mga tuhod ko at tuluyan na akong nahilo pero pilit kong nilabanan. Ang sakit lang. Hindi ko namalayang unti-unting bumubuhos ang aking luha.


Sim: Do you still love her?


I wanted to slap my face by asking that because I know her answer would doom me.


Summer: Hindi ko alam.


That's it. I felt my world collapse behind me. It's easy to say No. Pero hindi yun ang sagot niya. Dun pa lang alam kong may desisyon na siya. At dun pa lang alam ko nang may pinili na siya. At hindi ako yun.


Sim: Do you love me?


Parehas na kaming umiiyak.


Summer: Of course babe. I love you. You are amazing.


Fck. That killed me most.


Sim: Damn Summer! Don't be so selfish! Are you gonna left me hanging? You are my everything, you are my life! But you are killing me right now! Just choose between your ex and me!


Ako o si Erin!?


Umalingawngaw sa kwarto ko ang boses ko.


Katahimikan.


Summer: Ang layo mo kasi Sim. While Erin, she's always there for me. She said she loves me.


That's it. I shut down my laptop right away. My Summer is gone.


***


END OF FLASHBACK

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