The thermometer had already climbed down to -8 degrees Celsius two hours before the start of our Champion's league game against Bayern Munich. Huddled into the long Barca coat in a desperate attempt to keep me warm, I was taking the last few steps leading to the pitch of the Allianz Arena, Bayern's stadium. I wanted to get another look at my old stadium before I had to return inside to get ready for the warm-up. The countless, still empty, white and red seats and the snow-covered pitch appeared before my eyes, as well as a bunch of players dressed in black winter coats and hats.
My old teammates.
Unsurely, I let my gaze wander over the arena in an attempt to locate the other two reasons I came outside when my eyes were suddenly covered by two cold hands.
"Rate wer ich bin! ("Guess who I am!")" a familiar voice challenged me, her hands still firmly pressed to my eyes.
"Ich erkenne deine Stimme, du Idiot, ("I recognize your voice, idiot")" I laughed, spinning around to throw my arms around Klara's neck. "Ich habe dich vermisst ("I missed you)."
"Mich auch? ("Me too?")" Sydney appeared next to us with a big grin on her face, joining our group hug by putting one arm around Klara and the other around me.
"Natürlich ("Of course")" I replied truthfully, resting my head on Sydney's shoulder. "Ich bin so glücklich, wieder hier zu sein. ("I'm so happy to be back here.")"
Sydney threw me a concerned look as she removed her arm from Klara's shoulder to pull her scarf over her nose, making her look like a silly bank robber. "Alles okay bei dir?" ("Everything okay?")
"Ja, ja. Es war nur eine anstrengende Reise gestern,("Yes, yes. It was just an exhausting journey yesterday.") " I answered evasively, not wanting to get into the devastating details of my life. After all, our journey to Munich really had been one big disaster as a sudden cold front had laid itself over Western Europe, causing storms, cold, and just general chaos. Even the rain in Barcelona eventually turned into light snow which was such an unusual occurrence for the Mediterranean city that it delayed our flight for 7 hours.
"Ich glaube dir nicht, aber jetzt bist du ja wieder hier. Wie lange bleibst du? ("I don't believe you, but at least you're back here. How long are you staying for?")" Sydney curiously asked while glancing at the time on her phone as we were all supposed to go back inside soon.
"Bis kurz nach Neujahr." ("Until shortly after New Year's eve.")
"Dann müssen wir uns jeden Tag sehen. Versprochen? Wie früher!" ("We'll have to see each other every day, promise? Just like in the old times.") Sydney demanded as Pürgen, the village where her parents lived, was less than a 20 minutes drive from my parents' home.
"Weihnachten kann ich nicht, aber sonst schon,("I can't do Christmas, but the other days are fine by me") " I laughed, holding my pinky finger up as a promise.
"Perfekt,("Perfect")" Sydney smiled, intertwining our pinky fingers for a short moment.
"An Silvester komme ich auch,("On New Year's Eve, I'll be there too.") " Klara announced before gently nudging Sydney in her side. "Alle sind schon reingegangen, wir sollten langsam auch gehen." ("Everyone has already gone back inside, we should head back as well.")
"Ist gut,("okay") " Sydney nodded, softly pinching my cheek. "Bis nachher, wenn wir gegen euch gewinnen." ("See you later, when we'll win against you.")
"Das wird nicht passieren,("That's not gonna happen")" I called after the two laughing Bayern players leaving the pitch, before putting my AirPods back in to finally take a quick stroll around the now almost empty field. Only Claudia and Aitana, both with their scarves over their noses and hats down to their eyes, were still left on the pitch, the two Catalan women desperately trying to get used to the harsh German cold.
With Lana Del Rey's Dark Paradise sounding through my earphones, I once again let my gaze wander over the thousands of empty seats where my family would be sitting in about an hour. While I was beyond excited to see my parents and grandmother again, I knew there was one person missing and with her, a big piece of my heart. The last two days without any contact from Mapi had been extremely difficult, and I could not fully comprehend the full situation yet, my mind constantly switching between today's game against my former club and the woman who had betrayed me.
Absentmindedly, I drew a heart in the thin layer of snow, the heavy snowfall immediately covering the uneven shape. Playing in these weather conditions would be difficult, but luckily we had already secured our place in the quarter-finals, so we could take it easy. After all, maybe a little snow would make the game more fun.
*
Two and a half hours later we were 83 minutes into the game and I was definitely regretting my earlier thoughts as my feet and hands were feeling numb, absolutely frozen by the cold. The snowfall had slowed down, but it was definitely no fun. Our team was not made for these weather conditions, causing Bayern to take the lead in the 67th minute. While we perhaps didn't necessarily need this win for the Champions League, we surely wanted it to finish 2024 properly on a personal level.
Determined, I started another attack down the middle of the pitch, eventually passing the ball to Frido who was running down the left wing. The Swedish international beautifully accepted the pass and made her way to the penalty area, forwarding the ball to Geyse who finally managed to equalise.
Finally 1-1.
Celebrating a goal against my former club in the Allianz Arena felt wrong, so I hastily made my way back to our side without talking to my teammates. Quite frankly, I just wanted this game to be over so I could find my family and go home.
Luckily, the game was over before I fully turned into an icicle and I quickly hurried to the side of the pitch to grab my coat.
"It's fucking baltic here," Keira complained next to me as she was wrapping herself in blanket handed to her by Lucy. "How did you survive so many years in Munich?"
"No idea," I forced a laughter, my eyes desperately trying to find out where Lucy got that blanket from, when suddenly the stadium was filled by a few young girls' screams.
"For fucks sake, you'd think One Direction entered the Arena," Lucy joked, attemping to locate the source of the noise, her eyes widening out of nowhere. "Wait, is that -"
"Do you need a blanket?" a soft, familar voice asked behind me, the thin fabric being gently laid around my shoulders.
Did the cold get to my brain and I was hallucinating?
Shocked, I spun around, my gaze immediately locking with Mapi's, the blonde defender awkwardly smiling at me.
"What- what are you doing here?" I stuttered, my heart dropping to my stomach as I thankfully pulled the blanket around my shoulders. "I thought you were in England?"
"So you found out about that," the Spaniard sighed, gesturing to the side with her head. "Can we talk?"
"Here? Do we have to do that now?" I replied confusedly, but Mapi was already limping to the middle of the pitch where we couldn't be heard by anyone. With a loud sigh, I followed the stubborn blonde.
"Mapi, I-" I tried to interject once again, just wanting to go home as I put my hand on her back, scared the Spaniard would slip on the icey ground.
"Please let me explain," the Zaragoza native interrupted me, sending me an unsure smile as we finally came to a stop
"Honestly, I don't know if I want to hear more of your lies," I shrugged, the tone of my answer matching the current weather conditions. "You betrayed me, María. How could you kiss me a few days before you signed for Arsenal?"
"I didn't sign with Arsenal," Mapi intervened, nervously playing with her crutches. "It's true that I was supposed to, though. The last two years at Barca haven't been the best, both on and off the pitch, and Arsenal had been in touch with me for quite some time. After summer, I seriously considered taking the offer because they promised me a way better contract than Barca, but then I met you and everything changed."
Puzzled, I looked at the blonde, my heart beating faster at her words. "But- I still don't understand...," I mumbled confusedly, stepping from one foot to the other to keep myself from freezing to death in this cold.
"I decided to take the offer after everything that happened during the international break," Mapi admitted, her gaze falling to the ground. "I thought I could start fresh after the winter break and that... that it would help me get over you, but then my accident happened and I realized I was lying to myself."
"What do you mean?" I raised an eyebrow, slightly trembling from not only the cold but also feeling overwhelmed with the whole situation.
"Even if I was a thousand kilometers from you, in a stupid cold country with disgusting food, it wouldn't help me. Seriously, what's up with English people? I didn't understand a word they said and their plug sockets are so weird? I forgot to bring an adapter and literally couldn't charge my phone for three whole days," the blonde defender nervously blurted out, completely beating around the bush.
"Come on, they're not that bad. And you could have just bought one," I said, my whole body now shivering from the cold.
"Hold these for a second, will you?" Mapi ignored my comment, instead handing me her crutches. Confused, I watched as the blonde unzipped her long winter coat and then took it off, completely disregarding the fact that it was still snowing. Trying to put as little weight as possible on her injured leg, she cautiously stepped closer to gently lay the dark coat around my shoulders.
"I don't want you to get ill," she explained with a tiny, uncertain smile on her lips as she took her crutches back.
"Thank you," I mumbled overwhelmed, pulling the coat closer to my body. "But now you'll be cold."
"It's okay, I'll make it quick," Mapi negated laughingly, but I could see the blonde's body already shivering slightly. "Look, I'm sorry I went to London without telling you or reaching out, but it was only supposed to be for one night. Then the stupid snow storm happened and I was stranded in London. This was the earliest flight I could get and I didn't even make it in time to talk to you before the game because the annoying security guard would only let me on the pitch post match.... But I- I just wanted to get out of the contract without much drama, but I wasn't sure if it was even possible. Turned out it is, but the repair payments are gonna be the financial death of me."
"I still don't understand why you would do all of this," I murmured, my eyes unsurely finding hers.
"I don't wanna leave Barca anymore, because you made the club feel like home again and I literally wanna be around you all the goddamn time, Emi. I thought if I joined Arsenal, it would help me get over you, but the past three weeks proved that I can't. And quite frankly, I don't want to," the blonde nervously smiled at me as she unsurely took a step closer to me, her shivering body now slightly touching mine. "I'm gonna stay in Barca, because I wanna be with you, is that so hard to understand? Because I- I.... I love you, Emi."
My jaw slightly dropped at her words as I looked at Mapi in pure shock, my heart racing for its life. "Y- You... You do?"
"Of course I do, princesa," Mapi grinned, still standing extremely close to me. "Now... Can I finally kiss you?"
"Here? In front of everyone?" I asked unsurely, my gaze wandering over the stands. Sure, they were much emptier than they had been just a couple of minutes before, but there were still a lot of spectators, especially young fans trying to get a signature or a picture with one of the players.
"I don't care anymore," Mapi shrugged unbothered, her gaze burning into my eyes. "I wanna be with you and I couldn't care less if anyone finds out. The world can gladly know what's mine."
Hearing those words coming out of the Spaniard's mouth was as if the weight from the last two months had been lifted off my shoulders. Perhaps not only from the last two months, but from the last few years. Without knowing it, she cured something she didn't even break.
Taking a small step towards her, I completely closed the gap between us, my hands finding their ways to her cold face. "I love you too," I smiled, my lips softly touching hers. It wasn't much, but it was enough for my whole body to feel as if it has been set on fire, making the cold go away.
At least for me, because the blonde defender was still shivering heavily.
"Take you coat back, silly," I laughed, gently putting the jacket back where it belonged. "You've won me over, no need to play the hero now."
"I'll always play the hero for you," Mapi joked, gesturing to the stands where some fans were still frantically screaming at us. "Someone definitely got a video of this."
"We'll be TikTok famous in an hour," I agreed laughingly as I glanced to the stands when I suddenly realized something. "Fuck, speaking of the people in the stands... my family's definitely waiting for an explanation too."
"Your family is here and you're only saying that now?" Mapi panicked, her cheeks immediately turning bright red.
"What did you expect?" I grinned, my eyes scanning the stands when I suddenly spotted my father impatiently waiting at the railing. "Jump on my back, we better hurry and the pitch is too slippery for your crutches anyway."
"We? You want me to meet them?" Mapi mumbled nervously, throwing her hands around my neck to awkwardly climb on my back. "I don't even speak German!"
"You're such an idiot, how many times have I told you that my mom is from Chile and my dad lived there for 20 years?" I bursted out laughing as I carried the blonde to where my family was waiting. "As long as you understand their South American dialect, you'll be fine. Just smile and nod."
"Vale," Mapi mumbled, anxiously burying her face in my hair.
"Emilia,we're here," my mother, a small, dark-haired woman, unnecessarily instructed us as I was gently letting the blonde down to help her climb over barrier.
"Hi there!" I greeted my family with a big smile once we had both made it to the other side, throwing myself into my father's strong arms.
"There's my little girl," he mumbled into the hug, lifting me up a little bit. "You played so well today!"
"Thanks, dad, but we've played better" I said, turning over to hug my mom before gently pressing a kiss on my grandmother's cheek. She was so small and fragile that I was always worried a hug would break all of her bones.
"How are you guys?" I wondered, intertwining my fingers with my grandmother's cold hand.
"Oh, don't you worry about us, dear. We're doing perfectly fine as always, " the old woman sent me a caring smile, her gaze curiously wandering over to Mapi who was looking at me like a lost puppy.
Oops.
"This is María, my - uhm- teammate," I introduced the Spaniard to my family by quickly pulling her a little closer.
"Your teammate, huh?" my father laughed at me, turning his head towards Mapi to gesture her to come a little closer. "I don't think Emilia's mother would appreciate it very much if I treated my colleagues like this. I'm Frank, nice to meet you, María."
"You can call me Mapi," the Spaniard stuttered, putting both crutches into one hand to shake my father's hand.
"I would indeed not appreciate that," my mother giggled, pulling the overwhelmed Mapi into a tight hug. "I'm Catalina. Welcome to the family, Mapi."
Embarrassed by parents' actions, my cheeks turned bright red as I watched them talk to Mapi, the Spaniard's nervousness seemingly calming down.
"What time are you flying back with the team?" my mother curiously asked. "We'd love to have you over before you head back."
"Oh- I don't actually know," Mapi unsurely replied, a shadow running over her face. "I'm injured, so I didn't travel with the team and I just came all the way from London. I don't actually have a flight back go Barcelona yet."
"Oh honey, you're more than welcome to stay with us until you go back," my grandmother chipped in as she had been living with us ever since I could remember.
"Are you sure?" Mapi wondered, shooting me a questioning gaze as if she was asking for my approval.
"Yeah, we would absolutely love that," I laughed, reassuringly grabbing the blonde's hand.
It all felt too good to be true.