A week later, I was walking to the training center with a slightly too hot to-go coffee from the crowded subway station in my hand. Fortunately, today it was a bit colder and cloudier than the previous days, but the sun was still desperately trying to push through the cloud layer. I looked at the palm trees at the roadside and thought about the upcoming football training.

Last week all we had been working on were our techniques, but yesterday Jonatan had announced that today we were to play against each other in two teams. I just hoped that I wouldn't be on the same team as Mapi. Even though the past week had passed fairly quiet except for some minor teasing on her part, I'd rather not be testing my luck today. I'd prefer to be in a team with Laura, Lucy or her girlfriend Keira, the ginger she'd disappeared with on the first day. When Lucy had introduced Keira to me last Thursday, I briefly played with the idea of coming out to her. But even though I knew she obviously wouldn't mind, something stopped me from doing it. To be completely honest, I was secretly worried about what Mapi might do with this information about me, even though it seemed she was friends with Lucy and Keira. Nevertheless, I was feeling that she wouldn't hesitate to use any means to get rid of me.

As the training complex appeared in front me in its full glory, I took the last sip of my coffee and tossed the cup to the nearest trash can. Fuck. Of course, I just had to miss it. I hurried to the trash can and bent down to throw the cup away. I was about to enter the building when I noticed a motorcycle that had just pulled up. Thanks to my bad luck, no other than Mapi had to be standing right next to it, talking to the driver, a young, red-haired woman. It was the first time I'd seen Mapi in casual clothes. In training she scared me with her aggressive manner, her hair was always tied tightly, and she rarely laughed. Even now, she still radiated an enormous dominance, but in an almost peaceful way, if that makes any sense. Instead of the usual training gear, she was wearing loose dark pants and a mint green crop top. Her slightly wavy hair fell loosely around her shoulders and a pair of black sunglasses was sitting on her head.

Their conversation seemed to come to an end, and I was about to leave too when she stood on her tiptoes and gave the woman a quick kiss on the mouth. My eyes widened. Well, I would have nothing to fear from her in this matter, I thought with amusement. I seriously needed to stop overthinking. Mapi might almost be worse than Sydney in some ways, but at least she definitely wasn't homophobic.

Just then, Mapi turned and spotted me. Her eyes turned dark and her entire expression changed. "What's the matter, Princesa?" She asked me harshly, slowly approaching me until she was standing right in front of me. "Do you have a problem with two women kissing?"

Her brown eyes were shooting sparks into mine and I could feel her warm breath on my face. A hair brushed against me, and I didn't know if it belonged to her or me, but it sent a shiver down my spine anyway.

"No, no" I stammered, unable to even get out a proper sentence. My heart was pounding restlessly, and if it had beaten any louder, the sound would have been audible on the other side of the world. She was still looking at me challengingly, but I noticed how her eyes were wandering over my whole body at the same time, as if she was checking me out.

That was too much for me. I quickly turned around and disappeared into the building. Shortly afterwards, I arrived in the dressing room, totally out of breath.

Although I changed as quickly as I could, Mapi arrived in the locker room before I could get out. Luckily, we weren't alone, but I could still feel her eyes on me relentlessly. I grabbed my cleats and hurried out onto the field, joining Lucy and Keira.

The latter threw me a worrying look. "You okay?"

I nodded. "It's all good, I'm just running a little late."

"Nonsense, we haven't even started warming up yet" Lucy interjected.

After a short warm-up phase, we were slowly running around the pitch in silence.

"Are you guys looking forward to the game?" I wanted to know after a while.

Lucy and Keira nodded in sync. "I just hope we get Paños as our goalkeeper. She doesn't let any ball through, it's quite an advantage" I was informed by a panting Keira. I was already exhausted as well, but we weren't quite done with warming up yet.

"That's not true, the team with me has the biggest advantage" Lucy stated.

Keira playfully poked her in the ribs with her arm. "Luce, you're so full of yourself."

Lucy grabbed her arm to slow her down a bit and then quickly kissed her cheek. "That's why you love me" She laughed.

"The social media manager and the fans are gonna love this." Keira scoffed and pointed at the social media manager who waved at them happily.

Lucy just looked at her with puppy eyes.

"Fine, I do love you. Now stop looking at me like this" Keira demanded while grinning widely.

They're just so adorable, I thought to myself. The things I'd do to have my own Lucy or Keira. Even Mapi, the literal devil, had seemingly found someone. Just remembering our encounter from before made me shiver.

Instinctively I looked for her in the crowd while we slowed down and eventually came to a stop. I found her engaged in a conversation with Alexia. As if she felt my gaze, she turned her head in my direction and scowled at me, but this time I stood my ground and starred right back at her. I wasn't going to let her get to me again.

Meanwhile, Lucy was following my look.  "What the..." Lucy started to ask a question but was interrupted by Jonatan's loud hand clapping.

"So, girls, you already know the thrill. We're going to play in real conditions, at least 90 minutes with a 15 minute break. As you know, that's a little longer than our usual training session, so we won't have a lot of time to discuss it afterwards. We will however make up for this tomorrow morning, use the free time wisely. As usual, we have Paños and Gemma in goal for now. Gemma, you'll be assisted by our newcomer Emilia. Emilia, you'll keep your usual role as an attacking midfielder for now. By the way, we missed you yesterday." He looked at me as if he was expecting me to reply, before continuing with the division.

I was confused what he was talking about, because I had been present at training yesterday. I wonder if he hadn't noticed me. But I quickly pushed the thought away because my next problem was already approaching from my left.

"Didn't I tell you that we don't need any more midfielders? Just let me handle the game and we might still have a chance at winning" Mapi whispered in my ear, her lips brushing against my bare skin which made me shiver once again.

I just rolled my eyes. Her teasing was getting on my nerves, so I walked away from her and joined my group.

Alexia was assigned to us as left midfielder and we also got Ingrid Engen and Jill Roord to help us in the midfield. We were playing in the 4-4-2 formation with Alexia and me supposed to support our forwards, Jenni and Mariona. Unfortunately, Mapi would be defending for us, joined by Marta, Irene and Lucy.

Jonatan blew the whistle and the game started at full speed. The opposing team immediately grabbed the ball and for the first five minutes there was a bit of an uncoordinated scramble in front of our goal. However, we soon managed to find our way to their goal and I even managed to score a goal, which was celebrated with cheers from all my teammates - except Mapi. After half-time and a few failed attempts on our part, the other team scored two more goals. I saw that Mapi was currently in the possession of the ball and called out to her to pass it to me as I was dangerously close to the goal, however not being guarded by the other team. Mapi looked at me irritated, but completely ignored me. She tried to score from distance and missed the goal by quite a few meters.

I sighed in annoyance as this was not the first time this had happened today. As a matter of fact, I had lost count on how many times she refused to pass to me.

But there was nothing I could do anymore, because at that moment, Jonatan blew the whistle.

After two slow laps around the pitch, I was on my way to the dressing room, when I noticed Mapi talking to Jonatan.

Lucy caught up to me. "Would you like to join Keira and me for a drink?"

I nodded enthusiastically, excited to finally be able to do something with my teammates. I quickly showered, changed, and then Keira and I waited for Lucy, who was still blow drying her hair. The door was suddenly opened forcefully and Mapi stormed in.

"Are you okay?" Keira asked worryingly.

"Did you get into trouble with Jonatan?" Alexia wanted to know.

Mapi nodded sorrowfully and sat down on the bench, Keira and Alexia joining her immediately. I couldn't hear what they were talking about, but for a little moment, I couldn't help but feel sorry for Mapi.

Lucy joined me and clapped her hands. "Let's go! Mapi and Alexia, would you like to join us for a drink?"

Great. Mapi would also manage to ruin my first evening with my new friends. But she just wrinkled her nose in disgust and mumbled something incomprehensible.

Lucy shrugged her shoulders. "Then don't come. See you tomorrow."

"Wait." Alexia exclaimed. "Jenni and I are gonna join you guys, right Jenni?"

The dark haired forward nodded slightly confused.

Lucy threw her bag over her shoulder and motioned for us to follow her.

The tiny, wooden bar I was led to wasn't far from the training center and was a little outdated, the atmosphere however seemed very cozy. Our club seemed to visit this bar often, because the walls were covered in countless Polaroids of players, as well as signed pictures and jerseys. We sat down at a small, round table in a corner where we had some privacy, and the waiter, a tall, middle-aged man came right up to us.

"Alexia, Jenni, Lucy and Keira! Good to see you!" he greeted my new friends with a huge smile. "Who's your new friend?"

"Good evening, Marco" They greeted him back and immediately introduced me. "This is Emilia. She's been playing with us for a week."

Marco clapped his hands enthusiastically. "Welcome to my place, Emilia. First drink's on the house. Can I get you the usual?"

Before I had a chance to say anything back, Marco was gone.

My teammates laughed. "Now you've met Marco. He owns the bar and he's been supporting us for ages. He comes to our games as often as he can, both the women's and the men's. I think he's one of the only ones here who appreciates us as much as the men" Keira told me and Jenni nodded. "That's true, he's really great. Alexia and I had our first date here and when he overheard, he brought her a rose and acted like it was a gift from me."

I laughed out loud. "How cute. I didn't know you guys were a couple?"

Alexia sighed. "That's because we're not. Not anymore, anyway."

I threw her a questioning look.

"Not everyone is as lucky as Keira and can follow her girlfriend to new clubs. Especially not if it happens more than once." She scoffed while Jenni rolled her eyes. "Just leave it, Alexia. It's getting old."

Thankfully, Marco broke the tension by approching our table with some green drinks and a Polaroid camera in his hand. "I really need a picture of you, Emilia, for our player wall!"

Startled, I looked at him. "Now? But I'm totally exhausted from training. I look run over!"

"It absolutely doesn't matter, you're still a beautiful woman. Smile please!" Two minutes and an explanation of the so-called "footballer's drink" later, Marco handed me the picture and whipped out a pen. "Just sign it and it'll go right on the wall."

When he had disappeared again, Lucy raised the glass. "Cheers! Here's to you Emilia, I'm happy to have you here."

I took a careful sip of my drink. Less alcohol, extra fruits and veggies, Marco had said. For the life of me, I couldn't imagine it being drinkable. After the first few sips, however, I had to admit to myself that I was wrong. Not only was it drinkable, but it was also actually quite good.

"Do you like it?" Keira wanted to know. I nodded. "I wouldn't have thought so, but it's really tasty!"

"Where were you yesterday? "Alexia asked me.

I looked at her confused. First Jonatan and now her. What had I done wrong? "Did we have another practice yesterday? Jonatan also asked me why was absent, but I was there yesterday" I defended myself.

The others exchanged an irritated look. "Emilia, we had team bonding yesterday. We have it every week, it's really important" Lucy informed me. "Did you not know that? "

I shook my head. "No, I didn't know that. I was just given a training schedule."

Or had I missed it? How could such a mistake happen to me in my first week. Not even in times when almost my entire old team was against me had I missed team events.

"Didn't Mapi tell you? She started these evenings, hoping it would strengthen our teamwork, so now she's in charge of them." Lucy explained further.

Suddenly I realized what had happened. Mapi, the fucking bitch, had deliberately not invited me! "No, she didn't tell me. But that doesn't surprise me at all to be honest."

I wondered what I had done to her. After today, I could even understand it, because I had really given the wrong impression. But before? I hadn't done anything to her.

"What do you mean? Did something happen between you two? I saw the way you looked at each other today" Lucy demanded to know.

"Wait! You're hooking up with her, am I right?" Jenni exclaimed.

Shocked, I looked at her. Mapi and me? Never. How did she even know I liked women? And didn't Mapi have a girlfriend? I strongly shook my head. "Of course not. I don't even know her" I denied, nervously brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

Alexia threw me an encouraging look. "You don't have to hide anything from us, Emilia. I love Mapi to death, but I know what she's like."

I wondered if I should tell the truth. On the one hand, I didn't want them to tell Mapi everything. On the other hand, they too had apparently had their share of problems with Mapi and could definitely give me some advice. After another sip of the footballer's drink, I sighed loudly and began to tell them. "There's definitely nothing going on between us. Mapi just doesn't like me. On my first day she told me that I don't belong here because they already have enough midfielders. In my first training session she tripped me, but I can't say if that was intentional, because after that she mostly stayed away from me, until today. She kissed her girlfriend goodbye and I must have looked a bit surprised because after that she really had a go at me and now she thinks I'm homophobic. That's why we kept giving each other weird looks today and she wouldn't play with me either. " I took a deep breath. "But... she has no reason to worry."

"What do you mean?" asked Lucy with a wrinkled forehead.

Jesus. Did she too think I was homophobic now? I couldn't afford to make another enemy on the team because of that. "I... well... I'm into women myself, but I had a bad experience with being open about it at my old club. That's why I actually wanted to keep it to myself now, and I was so shocked when I saw Mapi today. I was so sure that if she ever found out, she would use it against me." The words just fell out of my mouth and I felt tears gathering in my eyes.

Alexia placed a hand on my arm comfortingly. "Believe me, you don't have to be afraid of that. Everyone here is totally tolerant and honestly, most of us are gay anyway. Just like you, many of us aren't out publicly though, but not Mapi. She's a LGBT rights advocate and just gets really angry when she thinks someone or something is homophobic. Of course, it's not an excuse how Mapi is behaving towards you, but you have to know, she hasn't always been like that. Ever since she broke up with Ana-Maria, her ex-girlfriend, about a year ago, she just hasn't been the same. We all miss the old Mapi. No one knows what exactly happened, but now she won't let anyone get close to her and she gets angry easily. Believe me, the woman you saw with her today is not her girlfriend. These days she has a new girl every week."

"That's right" Jenni laughed encouragingly. "She even got with Alexia's sister. But that's not the main problem right now. Listen, Emilia, I'm sure Alexia can talk to her, right?"

While Alexia nodded affirmatively, I shook my head violently. "No, absolutely not! I need to work this out with her myself."

"Scratch that, I know Mapi. She won't speak a word more than necessary to you. But we'll find a solution. Now let's change the subject so you'll have some good memories of our first night together."

About an hour, I was standing at the bar next to Keira and Lucy and we were all talking to Marco. He was just about to tell us how Messi allegedly spilled a drink on him once, when I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I had finally found the women's bathroom, the first thing I witnessed was Alexia being pressed against the wall by Jenni while passionately making out.

"Jesus" I shouted laughingly. "Take this somewhere else, will you?"

Both of them immediately turned their heads to me and shot me apologetic looks.

"Emilia, oh my god, I'm so sorry. Let me explain..."

"You don't need to explain anything, Alexia" I interrupted her and gave her a small smile.

"I at least owe you an apology. I'm your captain and I should be with you on your first night out with your team. Instead, I'm letting myself get distracted."

"Oh, so now I'm a distraction?" Jenni interfered angrily.

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"Do I though? Just last week I was the love of your life and the week before you called me a bitch, so honestly Alexia, I don't know what you mean. Just stay away from me." She stormed out of the bathroom, leaving me alone with Alexia who let herself sink to the bathroom floor.

"I don't know what to do anymore" She cried. "No matter what, it's never good enough."

I kneeled next to her and put my arm around. "Shh. Don't say that, you're Alexia Putellas, you're more than just enough."

"But that's the problem, everyone always expects so much from me. Before she had left to Paris and then Madrid, everything between us was perfect. We were just Alexia and Jenni, it was us against the world. We were thriving in our careers, but then she left without telling me and left me completely broken, but I learned to make the best out of it and became who I am today. When she finally came back it took us, it took us a long time to rebuild our trust. It was never the same that it was before, but it was close. And then she left again. This time, to fucking Mexico, which was even further away. I didn't see her or spoke to her for a fucking year while I was struggling with my injury and at my lowest point. Just last year, she came crawling back to us, complaining that she didn't like it in Mexico. So we took her back, but this time, it was different. I just miss the old us, but I know I'll never get that back. Our trust is completely broken." She gave me a sad smile while tears were rushing down her face. "I'm the captain of our team and one of the best footballers. So many things are expected of me and I just can't seem to please anyone."

I gently stroked her hair. "You don't need to please anyone but yourself, Alexia. You said when Jenni left the first time, you became who you are today and then you fought your way back from your ACL injury. You're unbelievably strong and I just know that you can get out of this mess, but you have to focus on yourself."

Alexia pulled me into a hug. "Thank you so much" she whispered. "I hope I can be a good captain to you, because you definitely deserve that!"

It wasn't until half past twelve that I unlocked the door to my apartment. I would certainly regret that tomorrow, because in six hours I had to get up. After a short version of my night routine, I slipped into my pajamas, threw myself onto my bed, and unlocked my phone. A bunch of Instagram messages immediately popped up.

I finally opened the chat with Antonia. We had been texting every day since last Monday and I had to admit that I liked her a little. She was pretty and funny, but I didn't dare to meet her yet. It wasn't as if I'd never done anything with a woman before, rather the opposite if we're being honest, but I'd always met those women in person and I wanted to be careful. I attentively read her answer to a question I had priorly asked.

[10/08/2024 17:45:59] antonia.vargas.24: No, I don't have any pets. Do you?

[10/08/2024 22:51:30] antonia.vargas.24: How was your day?

I quickly replied that I didn't have any pets here, but had a cat at home with my parents. I was just about to tell her about my day, when a new notification from Instagram appeared:

Marialeonn16 started following you.