I nervously put my jersey with the number 20 on. Only five minutes left until our game against Real Madrid, our biggest rivals, would begin, and it was my first time in the starting eleven ever since I had joined Barca.
"Are you excited?" I asked Mapi, turning my head to the blonde defender sitting next to me.
"No" she shrugged,without even bothering to look at me. I guess I deserved that treatment, after all I had been deliberately avoiding her during the last two training sessions, not knowing how to act towards her after my birthday party.
"Chicas, escuchadme!" Alexia said loudly, eagerly clapping her hands. "It's gonna be a tough game, but I believe in every single one of you. We can do it together. Repeat after me: Barça! Barça! Barça!"
After reciting the line from the famous Barcelona anthem, Cant del Barça, we wanted to head outside, me being the first one to open the changing room door, almost crashing into two Madrid players making out in front of our door.
"What the fuck" I mumbled, unsure how to get past them without interrupting them.
"Get a fucking room" Mapi scolded, violently pushing her way past the two girls.
"Oh, sorry. We didn't see you there" one of the girls, a tall blonde chuckled in a slight foreign accent.
"You're standing in front of our fucking changing room, which, may I kindly remind you, was yours too until last year. Quit playing, Ana" Mapi replied angrily.
My jaw dropped. This was Mapi's ex? Holy shit, she was even more stunning in real life.
As Ana slightly moved, I got the chance to look at the other woman. Brown hair, heavy eye make-up and a mean look.
It was no other than Esther González who had been making out with Mapi's ex.
"I choose to forget many things from my time here" Ana now provoked, her blue eyes sparkling viciously. "It's better to let bad things go. You should try that sometimes."
"Hija de puta, I-" Mapi's scream was interrupted by Alexia pulling her away.
"Save it, both of you" She demanded. "Ana, you know your way around the stadium, so I'm sure you'll find a better place for your little pregame session. Now excuse us, we have a game to win."
When we arrived at the entrance to the pitch, we stood in a line, trying our best to concentrate on the upcoming game as we waited for the music to start playing as a sign that we could enter the pitch, but everyone could tell that there was something off. The fight with their former teammate seemed to bother more people than just Mapi and Alexia, and even my thoughts kept on shifting back to it. If Ana was with Esther now, then what did the picture of them at the World Cup qualifier mean?
Out of nowhere, I felt a soft push coming from behind me. "We need to go outside" Keira giggled amused. "You better focus on the game now."
I took a deep breath before I made my way on the pitch, touching the white sideline in the process, something I did before every game. Once we had arrived on the pitch, we lined up next to each other, only the referees separating us from our opponents, to take the mandatory pregame picture. A light rain was drizzling down on us, making the temperature bearable. Afterwards, Alexia and Ivana Andrés, the Real Madrid captain, went up to the referee to see who got the kickoff and we took our spots. With Alexia and me both starting, it obviously meant that I couldn't play as a 10 as this was her usual role, so I was an 8 today, playing both offensively and defensively.
Real Madrid got the kickoff, and after a loud whistle the game started, our opponents instantly taking control and pushing to our side.
They were controlling the game for a good 30 minutes, however without any actual chances to score, when the fatal mistake happened.
Esther, already standing in our penalty box, got an excellent pass from Caroline Weir, and wanted to shoot it past Mapi who desperately tried to stop her by running towards the ball. Shortly before she had reached it, the Zaragoza native slipped on the wet pitch, accidentally shooting the ball even further towards the goal. Paños, having thought that Mapi would have defended the ball, couldn't react anymore, and it went it.
Mapi had just scored an own goal.
When she realised what had happened, the blonde defender stayed laying on the floor, hiding her face in her arms, as the Madrid players started celebrating.
"That's not a goal you should celebrate. Especially not them" Alexia scolded next to me, angrily pointing at Ana and Esther who were caught up in a group hug with their team. I nodded, unsure what Esther had to do with it (A/N: who already knows what's up? Hint: it's based on a true story), while worryingly looking at Irene who was taking care of a sobbing Mapi. Luckily, she didn't seem to be physically hurt, but I didn't even want to imagine how she felt like in this moment. As I wanted to walk towards her, Alexia held me back. "Not now, Emilia. The game needs to continue."
My chance to avenge for her came shortly after half-time, when I was badly fouled by the Danish national player Sofie Svava in the box and therefore awarded a penalty.
As I placed the ball on the penalty spot, I knew I had to get it in, not just for Mapi, as Madrid was still leading 1-0. My glance went from the ball to the goal, studying the Madrid goalkeeper Misa Rodríguez, who was slightly jumping around in order to prepare for my shot, while the other players were stood behind me.
I took a few steps back, taking a final deep breath before I started running towards the ball, aiming to shoot it into the right corner.
In the beginning, it looked as if the ball was heading where I wanted it to go, but then I had to watch the ball fly over the net, ending up right behind the goal.
How can you miss a fucking penalty?
In disbelief, I was standing still, observing Misa as she got ready to kick the ball back to her teammates, when I felt a hand on my arm.
"It happens to the best" Lucy sent me an encouraging smile. "Come on, let's win this."
Unfortunately, we didn't.
We ended up losing 1-0 and therefore el Clásico femenino, the first time in recent years.
Somehow, I couldn't help but feel guilty, as I stepped back into the inside, heading straight for the changing room. After a quick shower, I was just starting to get dressed, when I noticed Mapi appearing next to me, looking absolutely gutted.
"How are you doing?" I wanted to know as I smiled at her compassionately.
"How do you think I am?" She snapped at me, her eyes sparkling furiously.
I defensively held up my hands. "Sorry. Next time I won't ask if that's what you want."
How could everything feel so good with her on one day, yet so bad the next?
"What I want is for you to score your penalty, so we don't lose."
My jaw dropped "Are you implying that I'm the reason we lost? Mistakes can happen to anyone!" As I said this my voice was getting louder and I started to feel our teammates stares on me.
"The only mistake was for Jonatan to recruit you for this team!" Mapi now stated, almost yelling. "As long as I remember, we haven't lost el Clásico."
"Who got distracted by their ex and scored an own goal?" I hissed angrily, feeling my eyes slowly tearing up.
As I said this, I could see how her facial expression changed from angry and confused to beyond furious.
"I don't let myself get distracted by anyone. Maybe if you had paid attention to me and your other teammates, you would have noticed that, but you only care about yourself, acting as if you're a fucking princesa. No wonder your friends at Bayern don't -" Mapi's shouting was interrupted by an angry Alexia, her scream drowning out Mapi's.
"Te juro Mapi, if you don't stop this immediately you won't see the inside of this changing room for a long time."
Mapi threw a shocked glance at Alexia, seemingly not believing what her best friend had just threatened her with. Without saying anything else, she grabbed her bag and stormed out, still wearing her match kit.