The world twisted around him yet again. He sank to his knees as air was taken from him. Lost inside his mind, faint dots started clouding his vision. Sweat pooled in his hands as his heart felt weak and roared beyond comprehension. As if trying to pull out of his chest. Another panic attack for seemingly no reason. Jamie just couldn't control them, he was glad for them mostly happening at home alone. But maybe that's why they were happening so often. Jamie, as popular from being the mailman he was, was lonely most of the time. People didn't seem to want to be friends with him, save Steven and maybe Connie. Even they didn't know him enough to be classified "friends". Sure, Barb was a good co-worker but he wouldn't mind having others. And this day just was not getting better. He almost had a meltdown at work and blew up at Brab over something he can't even remember. And when he finally finished his shift he has another panic attack! Life just wasn't on his side today. He had no clue what was wrong with him, there couldn't be anything truly, he was sure of it. But all these mental breakdowns made him feel pathetic and useless. The customers did not help much, always yelling and demanding things out of his control. Today he really just wanted to curl up and die. His chest kept heaving for air that tickled his face and body but would not enter his lungs. His body was fighting itself tearing him apart. Jamie needed something, he just didn't know what. The silence was corroding him it was 6pm when he got home, it only took ten minutes for him to freak out again. It wasn't his fault, he couldn't control it. A while later his mind started to ease and the world came back to him. He felt utterly defeated. It was 1 am when he decided he couldn't fall asleep and needed to go somewhere. He thought a trip over the beach would be nice. Throwing on a thin blue jacket and grabbing his keys he walked out of his apartment and down to the beach.

~~~~~~~

Kevin's mind was running full circle again. Thinking of everything at once but hearing nothing. He gripped the steering wheel tightly. Normally, he wouldn't go anywhere near the center of the town he lived in, but today there was no other way. It was late, no one would see him lying on their large beach. He dropped his car off at an abandoned parking lot and walked down to the beach. Sound might help his mind off of this episode. He laid down near the water in the middle of the beach, letting the once annoying but now soft sounds of waves lull him to sleep.

******

Jamie stepped off of the boardwalk and into the soft sand, hands shoved deeply in his pockets. He walked down to the water and looked out to the horizon, seeing the beautiful sunset that he forgets to look at most of the time. He made a mental note to watch it more. He walked down the beach hearing soft breathing near him. This was confusing, the ocean waves, rocks and sand, all had their own sounds, and most of those were silent. He looked around again, down on the sand around him and in front of him. There lay a darkened figure of a young man. His skin looked maroon in the light of the falling sun. Jamie didn't know what to do. He had never seen this person before and they certainly did not look homeless lying on a towel and dressed in boots, black jeans, a dark blue T-shirt and a white scarf. Jamie stared at the sleeping figure, trying to find out who this person was and if he had ever seen them before. He then tried to step around the person as to not wake him up. But the strangers eyelids flickered open and seemed to strain before fully understanding what was happening. Jamie flinched and squeaked in surprise. Before falling on his ass. The stranger sat up quickly staring back at Jamie. 

"what the hell man?!" 

"s-sorry!" Jamie scooted back hiding his face as he expected the man to hit him

"who just walks on someone sleeping like that! Now I'm going to be all fucked up again" Jamie looked at him quizzically after stuttering out another sorry. The man sighed, exasperated he went back to lying down closing his eyes forcefully.  This guy was not helping his anxiety go down, but for some reason he just could not bring himself to leave.  He sat down crossing his legs and looking back at the stranger. 

"Fucked up? Again?" Jamie asked in a small voice after a moment "what do you mean?" After a few seconds of silence the stranger replied mumbling

"doesn't matter."

"oh..." Jamie was not expecting that. This guy seemed like the type to talk your ear of if he wanted to.  But maybe it was good to not talk about issues for once, especially with a stranger. The person shifted a bit, obviously straining to keep their eyes shut. When they finally gave in he sighed accepting defeat. 

"why are you even out here? It's like... night" This dude was full of surprises. Jamie really thought he hated him already. Or at least would yell at him to leave. 

"I uh... Really like the stars?" He half lied trying to not get on a deep level already. The other person didn't look like he believed Jamie, but he didn't press. "How about you? The beach isn't the most comfortable place to sleep."

"Just went for a joyride, ended up here. What's your name, kid?" 

Kid? Well this wasn't a good start, he was certainly older than this kid. 

"Jamie, and I'm not a kid, yours?" The stranger looked him over once then moved his head back to staring at the sky. 

"Sorry babe, it's Kevin. And the stars are beautiful k-" Kevin grunted at the end of his sentence obviously trying to find a better replacement word for 'kid' and failing. Jamie looked up to the sky and smiled slightly. His nerves calmed down and he felt peaceful again. It was quiet save for the soft breathing of Kevin and an owl off in the distance. The waves lapping at the shore were calming and languid. They breathed on the horizon and gave hope for newer days. And the stars above opened themselves to reality, exposed to everything but unknown as well.

"Do you have anywhere to go tonight?" Kevin looked back to Jamie quizzically.

"It's like two am, I've got nowhere to be."

"yeah but do you need somewhere to stay?"

"Depends, you offering?" Kevin sat up and faced Jamie smirking, causing him to blush slightly.

"I mean... Yeah, sure." Kevin stood up and Jamie followed and started walking towards his apartment, Kevin caught up next to him and they walked together while Jamie fussed over his apartment and how it wasn't exactly the most huge place, or fancy and Kevin would probably have to sleep on the couch or where ever he wanted to. Kevin listened but hushed him after he started rambling on and on.

"Jamie, I'm sure it's fine. Don't worry." Jamie shut up and when they got to his apartment he took out his keys, unlocking the door and holding it open for Kevin. As they walked in Jamie noticed how expensive looking Kevin was compared to his apartment space. He was going to apologize again but decided against it and offered Kevin tea and a seet on the couch.

Kevin nodded but refused the tea and sat on his couch.

"It's really late do you uh... want a blanket or something? You should probably sleep." Jamie fussed over Kevin again, internally facepalming at himself. He sounded like such a mom, and what's worse is he forgot why he even offered Kevin to stay over. Did he even say yes? What the hell was happening? 

Everything was moving too fast, Jamie had no clue what reality he was in. 

"Sleep is for the weak." Kevin sighed at eyed Jamie once again. It was as if he sensed what Jamie was feeling because a momment later he stood next to Jamie and wrapped an arm around his waist, ushering him into his bedroom. It must have been rather easy, Jamie's house is small. He sat with the other boy on his bed and looked him up and down concern in his eyes. Jamie was very confused but drifting away as well. "Don't worry, you're real." His mind slightly focused more. "You know I think it isn't me who needs to sleep. I'm gonna stay here as long as you want though."

This just confused Jamie even more. What caused the change in mood? He realized his breathing had become labored but he wasn't experiencing a panic attack, just a little more anxiety than usual. And what was it that Kevin said? He was real? That was comforting for some reason. He felt himself be pushed onto the bed and covers falling over him. Maybe he wasn't the mom, apparently, Kevin could be the same. A low dip came on the end of the bed, Kevin really was going to stay. It was nice to have someone there, loneliness was corroding Jamie day by day, and even this stranger coming to his house made him feel more supported and real than any other day activity. Kevin was saying something, but he really wasn't listening. He was just enjoying the company of having someone else there, present with a voice spoken directly to him. 

He wondered how Kevin knew what was happening

How he even thought of what to do. But Jamie was too tired to care, it had been a long day and he was not excited to get up for work in the morning. He was eventually lulled to sleep by his exhaustion and the smooth sound of Kevin's voice. It was almost too nice.

~~~~~~~

As Jamie fell asleep Kevin sat in silence in the rustic looking bedroom. It was a nice change of scenery from his normal huge house, too much space for thoughts in places like that. He and Jamie just met, and it daunted on Kevin that he had just treated the boy like a good friend might have. He couldn't help it though, he saw the struggle of anxiety in other people and knew from experience how to help make life seem more.... real. He contemplated leaving and going home. But he didn't want to give Jamie a panic attack when he woke to emptiness. He made that mistake before, it was not helpful to reality if you just leave. Everyone fears being left, and when people with severe anxiety fear this they can go into full breakdown mode. That scared Kevin really, even if he knew it wouldn't help to show it. 

Pain had a lot to do with what Kevin discovered. For a long time he was so addicted to being the center. In front of all this pain and too good for the fake smiles and people. He still wanted this actually, he loved their attention. The negative energy gave him some sort of uplifting, in a sick way. 

But now he looked over to the young man peacefully sleeping below him. Someone tortured but closed their eyes to reality. Yeah, this was going to be the start to some new story. Something that could change what he knew. One hour of time, so much potential. He could just leave. 

He could just leave.