(baby don't yell, you're tearing a hole, right through the walls of everything we used to know)

It had been a few days since Alex had left for tour and I was already pining for him to be back. I'd stayed over at his the night before he left so we could be close before he left and wouldn't see me for a few weeks, and he promised to stay in touch when I dropped him off at the meeting point early thursday morning and making sure he wouldn't forget anything as he was notorious for leaving something important behind.

The ride to Towson Town Center's car park was almost in complete silence as neither of us knew what to say. The sun was beginning to come up, and Alex was staring out the window watching as it slowly began to rise and bring vibrant colours to the sky. At the best of times, Alex was not a morning person. It had taken twenty minutes and promise of sexual favours to get him up and ready for the early 5am bus call, and he had begrudgingly thrown on a pair of faded Glamour Kills skinny jeans, his Metallica tee, one of his many hoodies and ofcourse, a trademark beanie. I looked over to him every so often to see if I could tell what he was thinking about, and halfway to the car park, I just asked him. "Nothing." Was his reply. Okay, he was even less of a morning person these days. I sighed and kept my concentration on the quiet roads of Baltimore, remembering little things from our teenage years.

"I FELL IN LOVE WITH THE GIRL AT THE ROCK SHOW. SHE SAID WHAT AND I TOLD HER THAT I DIDN'T KNOW!" We screamed down the road in Rian's car. Blink was always playing in his stereo and we couldn't help but sing along. We got the odd look from passers-by as we belted out the choruses and had the music turned up to the highest volume, but we didn't care. We were young and reckless and didn't give a fuck. As the song ended, I rested my head on the backseat of the car and Alex put his arms around me as I moved to snuggle into his embrace. It was little things like this that made me fall more and more in love with him, because we weren't the kind of couple that over-did the PDA's at every oppertunity, and hanging around with a bunch of guys that would complain when they thought you did it too often put you off, so we left that for when it was just us. "Awh, look at the cuties in the back." Jack teased looking at us through the mirror from shotgun, I merely chuckled before taking one of Alex's hands in mine and playing with his fingers as he kissed my forehead. It was moments like this that made me want these years to last forever...

I sighed at the memory and pulled into a lay by, cutting the engine. "Look." I said turning to Alex and squeezing the wheel, "Tell me what's up or I won't get you to bus call on time." I threatened. He closed his eyes before turning to face me, with a sad look on his face. "I don't want this time to end. I've enjoyed the last few days as us. It felt like we were seventeen again and carefree, all these memories keep flooding back and I don't wanna lose you ever again, and I feel like I will if I go..." I saw the pain in his eyes. It was the pain I wanted to avoid at all costs to stop the guilt that had been brewing in my gut since he told me about this tour, we'd gone into this full force not thinking of the consequences. I took my hands off the wheel and put them in his before saying "Look, I know it's gunna be hard, but that's why we have skype, texting and calls. I know it won't be the same, and I can tell you I feel exactly the same as you right now but we need to see if this can work long-distance, because I won't always be able to come with you to experience all that you do." He nodded, then cupped my face in his hands before softly kissing me, then resting his forehead against mine and we just stayed like that for a few minutes. There was no need to talk, we knew what the other was thinking.

We both sighed and I started the engine up again. He put one hand on my thigh, squeezing it, so I turned to face him. "Hey, we'll get through this, we're strong okay?" I nodded as he said this, holding back the tears as he kissed my cheek and whispered those three words that would make my heart flutter. "I love you." Before kissing my cheeck again and sitting back in his seat, keeping his hand on my leg.

We reached the car park about five minutes later, and I parked up beside the huge black bus surrounded by the guys. After turning the engine off, Alex took his seatbelt off and got out while I tried to compose myself so I could get through the goodbyes before breaking down. I didn't think I could become reattached to my old life as quickly as I had, but I did. And right now, that sucked. Alex came round to my side of the car, opening the door for me to get out and as I did, he loaded his bags and case into the bus and I headed over to the group of guys in their warm clothes with steamy breath as they discussed what I assumed was the basic tour rules. Matty was telling everyone the do's and don'ts which I gathered had happened every tour, as the guys all looked disinterested, tired and even a little hungover already (and by some, I mean Jack and Danny looked like they hadn't slept in a few days.)

Alex came over to catch the end of the lecture, hugging me from behind and resting his head on mine as I put my hands over his and rested back into his frame. I loved moments like this, and once again nostalgia kicked in as memories came back of us in this car park one summer...

"So...what's the plan for today?" Jack asked, ripping his 'Ritas Italian Ices' apron off and throwing it in the boot of his mom's honda before joining Alex and I at his boot. I was stood between his legs and his arms were over my shoulders, meeting on my chest as the sun's rays touched our skin. Rian came running over after Jack clumsily, stumbling over some trash before falling into the passenger door of the honda and steadying himself. Jack glared "Hey, this car's my mom's remember! Be careful dude..." He warned as Rian huffed, moving this mop-top fringe out of his eyes. "Maybe if you didn't go off without me yet again I wouldn't have ran over, seen as last time you actually drove off and left me without a ride." He retorted and Jack just stuck his tongue out at Rian. Alex and I chuckled to ourselves before shuffling over for Jack. "I was thinking," Alex said loudly, interrupting the face-pulling fight. "Why don't we go to the beach?" He pulled me around to face him and took my hands in his, pulling me into his chest and rubbing his nose against mine. The other guys nodded before rolling their eyes. Alex looked into my eyes, "What d'ya think?" He said smiling at me, I nodded, biting my lip. "Sounds like a good idea to me." I whispered before kissing him soft and slow, ignoring the noises from Rian and Jack...

I sighed and pulled Alex's arms tighter around my waist as the guys came over and said goodbye to me before heading on the bus, leaving me to have some last minute alone time with him. He slowly took his hands from around my waist and walked around to face me, taking my hands once again and looking at the floor as he swung them in and out. "So, I guess this is it..." I sighed as my eyes began to water and nodded at what he said. He suddenly dropped my hands and engulphed me in one of his strong hugs that was meant to protect me from the world and made me think he could never let go, but I knew it had to end. I hugged him back as tight as I could and began to sob as I felt him breathing before he sighed and loosened the hug, and I knew they needed to go. I dropped my arms and began to wipe the tears from my eyes, but he took his thumb and gently wiped under my eyes as I saw tears form in his eyes, "Please don't cry, you know I hate to see you hurting." He pined and I nodded silently, putting my hands on his face and bringing his lips to mine for one last kiss before sayong goodbye one last time. "I swear, I'm not going to leave this time. There's too much to lose, and I really love you." I blurted out as be climbed the stairs to the bus. He paused and turned back, looking at me before running backdown the steps to kiss me passionately, then moving his lips to my ear "Thank You." He whispered before kissing my cheek and getting on the bus.

I waited until I couldn't see the bus anymore before getting in the car and breaking down. I stayed in the car park and watched the sun come up through my tears before wiping my eyes and getting back to reality. This was going to be a long two weeks.