(I was dreaming we were running from a city burning down, down, down. Made a break, a new escape and let the world crash down, down, down)

I left my bags and almost ran to the venue as tears began to form in my eyes. I showed the security guard my pass and then tried to make my way around the venue to find Alex, or anyone that could tell me where he was, but the more corridors I went down, the more lost I felt. I slumped my body against the cold concrete wall of the dark corridor I had ended up in and slowly dropped to the floor as the tears began to flood down my face. I buried my head in my knees and wrapped my arms around them as I let it all out, not caring about anything as I sat there. I thought I heard someone call my name, but I ignored it and just sobbed as I gasped for air to fill my lungs, but then I felt arms go around me and pull me into them in a protective way that I'd got used to when I was upset. I realised the person holding me was Matt as he tried to sooth me and calm me down whispering "I know, I know." Over and over again in my ear.

I began to calm down and took my hands from around my knees and let them drop to the floor and rested my head back on Matt's arm. I lifted my hoodie sleeve over my hand and wiped my face before opening my eyes to see his sad face looking down at me. There was a look in his eye of pity, which is when I knew that what I had thought back on the bus was true. Alex had cheated. I didn't want to ask Matt and put him in an awkward position, so I just asked him to bring me to Alex and not tell him we were coming. He nodded and brought me up a small set of stairs and into a brighter lit corridor with signs directing whoever to the dressing rooms and stage, before bringing me to a door labelled 'MAIN BAND: ALL TIME (B)LOW'. Matt took one last look me, squeezing my shoulder to try and comfort me and said "Are you sure you wanna do this?" I nodded, taking a deep breath and turning my direction to the door.

He slowly opened the door, and thats when I my heart broke.

Alex was sitting on the sofa, with a dark haired girl in his arms playing with each others fingers as if it was okay and he didn't have a girlfriend. I just stood there on the spot, now knowing what to do. Alex had his back to me, but everyone else in the room saw the broken look on my face as I saw him, I could feel their eyes on me as if they were burning holes into my skin. What made it worse is that Alex seemed completely ignorant of the fact I was in the door, and kissed the girls head before realising that the guys were looking at something, and that something was me. Matt coughed, and Alex slowly turned his head around to see me and his expression changed from the happy, relaxed smile to a look of shock. I couldn't handle it. I ran.

I ran back down the corridors, not caring where I was heading as long as it was far away from what I'd just seen. The pain in my chest got heavier and heavier as I felt my heart break more and more, this pain was worse than when I'd left. I felt like I wanted to die. I could hear him calling after me, telling me to stop and slow down, but I couldn't. I didn't want to talk after what I had just seen. It felt like those days after I came back were wasted, fake, based on lies and deceit. It felt like it all meant nothing to him, he'd betrayed me in the worst possible way. I came to a heavy looking emergency exit, looking for a way to open it. I grabbed the bar, pushing down as hard as I could so it would open and I could be free, and it took all the strength I had to even open it ajar, but I was determined to open it more so I could get out, I needed to get out.

As soon as I got it open enough to get out, a hand grabbed my arm and stopped me in my tracks. He'd got me. I turned to look at his face, and thats when the anger hit me. "You said you loved me!" I screamed at him. "How can you love me when I saw you in there with HER!" He looked at me with sadness in his eyes, or maybe it was guilt. "I didn't mean for it to happen." He began, "It's not like I WANTED it to happen, it's not like I PLANNED it!" He shouted back to me, what sort of excuse was this? It was a pathetic one. "It doesn't matter if you fucking planned it or wanted it or not, what matters is you DID it!" I shouted back holding up the red thong. "Looks like you forgot to tidy your bunk while you forgot to pick me up at the airport, or just forgot altogether by what I saw in the dressing room." I said viciously, seeing the pain in his face as I dangled the thong in his face before throwing it at him and walking out into the bus park.

The heavy rain soon soaked my body as I walked away from him, but soon enough, he was infront of me blocking my path with a look of anger on his face. "Look, I made a mistake, if you hadn't realised, I make a lot of them. I know you know I was like this, and I am still like this okay? I hate myself for it but it's who I am. If you really thought you could change that in the few days we spent together when you came back, you were wrong." The wind began to pick up and pieces of trash were whirling around us as the rain got even harder and heavier. "If you remember, I DID change you once, remember?" I said, remembering the photographs in my pocket and took them out, shoving them in his chest. "What happened to the Alex I fell in love with at sixteen? What happened to the Alex I thought I still loved a few days back huh? What happened to you?" I shouted as fresh tears ran down my face. He looked at the pictures, but no emotion passed through his face, he then looked me directly in the eye and trod on my heart once again. "You happened Jen, YOU broke my heart that night you left. YOU made me the person I am today. I can't commit to people because of the way you broke me at eighteen, and wanting me to succeed isn't a good enough answer as to why you left. Yeh, you changed me for the better when I was sixteen, but then you made me worse that day you took the bus out of town and I didn't see you for five years." He took my hand and put the pictures in them, walking back inside, but before he closed the door, he said one last thing. "Oh, and if I haven't made it clear, we're over. Atleast I get to decide this time." And closed the door as I stood in the rain, not caring how cold and wet I got.

Now I knew exactly how I had made him feel when I left, how ironic that the weather was the same this time round as it was when I ended it.