- May 5th, 1985

~Nikki
I woke up to the sun beaming through the window and my arms wrapped around Liv. I don't remember how we got to this point, but some how we have resorted to her bed. I smiled at myself and just admired her laying down all cuddled on my chest.

God this was all I wanted was her by my side, and now I've got it. Sure we're bandmates and we'll always be together in some way but not like this. But now that I've got her I really don't know what to do about it.

I mean never in my life have I fully committed to any girl, and I'm finally with a girl who's not only my best friend but someone I respect. I would never try to hurt her, but that's what might happen if she's mine.

I feel her waking up, as she looks up at me with sleepy eyes and grins at me. God she's beautiful. "Morning Sixx." She grins and sits up beside me, and I realize we were both fully naked.

She kissed my cheek and got up to throw on a shirt and underwear. I'll just take this time to admire her rather perfect and slim body. In my eyes, she's nothing but perfect.

"Want anything? Coffee? Jack?" She smiled and made her way out of the bedroom as I slid my boxers on as well. "You know me too well." I smiled down at her as she made me a Jack and coke in the kitchen.

"How good was I?" I ran my hands along her shoulder and began to tease and lean over the counter towards her.

"Shut it Nikki!" She waved me off and made her way towards the living room but I could've sworn I saw a tint of red on her cheeks.

"Oh come on, I make you scream my name and you loved it." I love messing with her until she wants to probably shoot me.

"Did not!" She yelled back from the couch trying to ignore my gaze.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Ok maybe a lil." She smiled and huffed in defeat as I sat down next to her. "Knew it." I smirked and pecked her sweet plump lips.

Even though this was a would be just another good fuck for me and that I don't know where this is going, but if she's letting me give her affection like I've been trying for the past 5 years, hell that's all I need. She's my dream girl. Mine.

//

- June 28th, 1985

        "Nikki! Baby, open up!" Someone was pounding at my door and my heart started to flutter. I made my way to it as I was so excited that she finally wanted to visit me after what happened last time. I open the door and my heart drops to my stomach. Well that's a fucking let down.

     "Are you just gonna stand there or are u gonna let me in, silly?" She giggles obnoxiously and waltzed right into my home, and I knew what I was in for.

          It wasn't the girl I'd hope to drop by innocently with just a bottle of JD to have a good time. It was just a stupid, annoying, and rather psychotic bitch. Vanity. And she had way more than just Jack up her sleeve.

         "I- I thought you were in Vegas?" I rubbed my head in frustration as she just made herself at home and laid down on the couch in front of me. "I was baby, but aren't you glad I came home early?" She giggled again and unzipped her large purse.

          "Yea..." I just went to my kitchen to make a drink for myself, trying my best to avoid her. God she thinks we're dating or something and wonders why I don't ever fuck her. She's only good for one thing in my world. Drugs.

           She of course followed me into the kitchen with her hands behind her back. "I think I have something you'll like!" She pulled out a baggie of a brownish powder I've come too familiar with. She kissed my cheek and placed it in my hand, and walked back to the couch.

        "I'll be back." I groaned and walked fast to my bedroom and locked the door behind me shut. I then went to my safe haven which was my closet to shut and lock that door. I don't want anyone getting in here.

            I get everything set up and my mouth is watering as I become impatient for that feeling I need. I then feel the cold needle finally dig into my arm after a long day, and a rush euphoria comes over my body. I lay back against the wood closet door and slowly go into a haze where I can't tell how time passes.

         I've tried so hard to stay junk free but I only got up to 2 weeks. I'm such a fucking junkie. And I knew I wanted to keep my promise to the only person I really cared about and I'm throwing it away. Maybe I just won't tell her and everything will be alright. Yea. Alright.

             The euphoria eventually wore off leaving me sweating uncontrollably and paranoid. "He's in there!" I suddenly heard footsteps all around me but the voices were coming from the corner.

       I look over at my handheld radio and they must've bugged me. I grabbed it and chucked it across the closet and it smashed to pieces but I could still heard the noises. It sounded like a whole army, a S.W.A.T. Team even! "In here!" I heard echoes all around me and without a thought I lurched over to the safe where I had my loaded pistol.

            They can't find me here. They'll find my stash and send me off to jail or even worse, kill me for it. Maybe it's the mob, the police I don't know exactly, but they've been searching for me for weeks. My hands were trembling and I burst open the door and ran out of my room to Vanity.

           She must've been free basing 'cause she was sprawled on the couch and couldn't move a muscle. I began to shut all the blinds and pull the gun close to me. I looked over at the stereo in my foyer and instantly hear voices from it too.

        The pistol fired at it multiple times until it was down to nothing and I run back and shut myself in my closet again. This was my life. Never ending paranoia and an itch for smack 24/7.

      I couldn't tell how long it's been but I must've passed out on the couch because I opened my eyes to both of us in the living room with her now out cold on the floor. It was dark out and I hear a knock and ring at my door when that sense of anxiety hits me again.

        "Nikki! It's Liv!" Oh no. She can't be here and see Vanity. She definitely can't see me like this. Maybe if I just sit back and turn off all the lights she won't suspect I'm here.

        "I know you're home dumbass I can here MTV's weekly hits all the way from out here!" I rolled my eyes and hurry up to throw on a jacket to cover up my fresh track marks. I open the door and tried my best not to look like a total mess.

              "Liv uh- now's not a good time, I-" I scratch my neck and try to hide my eyes behind my hair, but it's kinda hard when I haven't washed it in a few days. God I'm blowing it. Here stands my best friend and the only girl I want to be with, but I'm letting her down by falling in love with a stupid bag of powder.

//

~Liv
         "Liv uh- now's not a good time, I-" Nikki stutters nervously and I could instantly tell he was hiding something. "I just wanted to stop by to give you the demo we made for Home Sweet Home." I pulled out a cassette from my jacket pocket and handed it to him. His hands were shaking and he grabbed it from me quickly and tried to avoid my eyes.

          He looked like he hasn't slept in days. His hair was everywhere and he was really sweaty and he was starting to grow a stubble of a beard and mustache. "Can I come in, I've had a really long day?" I was hoping we could sort of rehash that night back at my place almost 2 months ago.
         Ever since we've been so busy recording Theatre of Pain that we haven't been spending a lot of time together and I rather missed his attention.

      "Liv uh-" I peeked my head in the door a little bit, but it was way to dark to see anything. I then saw the light from the TV reflect on a girl passed out in the middle of the floor and I felt myself suddenly become a little jealous. "Who's that?" He whipped his head around and looked between her and I tried to make up an excuse.

           I pushed past him and stood in the foyer while her lifeless body remains in the middle of the carpet. I mean we weren't together but I guess I thought I was at least something to him, considering the massive amounts of phone calls or sexual teases at the studio from him. Who the fuck is this chick?

        My eyes dart to the coffee table and I see that it's littered with coke, a crack pipe, and some used needles. "Liv-" I ignored him and stepped over the girl and got a closer look at the table. "I thought you were off this shit!" I yelled and turned around to find him slumped over the staircase in the foyer just watching me.

           "I couldn't help myself!" He got up and walk towards me and I backed up and basically tripped over the girl. I think I woke her up cuz she groggily moaned and rolled over on her back. "Who's that baby?" She finally spoke up and her eyes stayed on me while she picked herself up weakly and sat on the couch.

              "Baby?" I squinted at her and back to Nikki who didn't say a word. "No, who are you?" I stared her down and her eyes were blood shot red with a ring of white around her nostrils. "I'm Nikki's girlfriend." She stood up and went by him to wrap her arm in his.

            My heart felt like shattering in two and I just stood there feeling like a complete fool. I knew we weren't even close to being a thing, but it really hurt that he was with some irrelevant bitch with a huge drug stash.

"Oh-" He shrugged her off and walked towards me with a soft look in his eyes. "Listen this is just for fun, Liv." He motioned to the drugs on the table in front of me and brushed his hands along my shoulders.

           "No Nikki, smack isn't fun!" I brushed his hands off and the 'girlfriend' ran up beside Nikki and held him in her arms. "Don't talk to my Nikki like that!" She had her arm wrapped around him tight and he just stood there lifelessly.

              "Bitch, no one knows who the fuck you are. This is between me and Nikki, so back off!" I yelled in her face and she winced at how loud I was. "Don't call me a bitch, you . . . Bitch!" She raised a hand at me and swatted my face clean and the rings on her fingers cut up my cheek.

                I winded my fist back and without thinking and punched her square in the nose as she fell to the ground. "I'm out of here-" I winced and shook my hand from the pain and I stepped over her as she gripped her nose that was gushing with blood, and made my way to the door. "Liv!" Nikki came after me and grabbed me before I got a foot out the door.

                "No Nikki!" Tears welted in my eyes and I pushed him off of me. "I thought I meant something to you but obviously you got a fuck out of me and that's exactly what you wanted!"

I ran down the steps and toward my car as I watched him come after me. "Wait!" He was yelling but I already got in the car. I sped off and away from that horrible house. Of course that just left me driving away, being a crying hot mess.

        Why the fuck does he do this to me? I gave him what he wanted and I was already thrown out and left for the trash, just like I knew I was gonna be. Why is everything so fucked up?

~
This was sort of a filler I'm sorry this story is shit I know