May 10, 1986

~liv
today was tommy's big day. he was finally gonna settle for the girl he loved and get married to heather. i haven't talked or said a word to nikki since our fight, even when he tried to call me 24/7.

why was he trying to get me back so hard? i obviously wasn't that important if he hid things from me. he has a million girls in the world to fuck but still keeps on bothering me, even though he deeply hurt me. i don't get it.

i groan as i get up from my bed and hurry off to the venue with my dress and bag of makeup. when i arrived i entered the back of a building where a dressing room was. there was heather and all the bridesmaids getting ready for the ceremony.

"wow, heather you look gorgeous." i engulfed her in a hug as she was finishing up getting ready and she looked stunning. "thank you so much liv! it really means a lot that you could be here." i helped her with what she needed and soon got ready myself.

after slipping on the matching white dress i started on my makeup. once we were all ready, we met at the back of the ceremony behind the venue where the grooms were.

shit. there he was. all the other grooms including vince followed him as he made his way towards me. he looked like absolute dog shit. he was stumbling all over the place, sweaty, bags under his bloodshot eyes, and i've never seen him so pale. the only thing that was descent was his hair.

he forced a smile at me while i cringed as we linked arms. the traditional music played as we made our way down the isle. after fake smiles to the families, we separated ways and i stood next to heather while holding her bouquet.

when i looked over the couple, nikki looked like he was going to fall over and pass out. i knew he probably shot up right before this and took many other drugs along with it. i decided it would be best to turn my attention to the couple.

i saw the way heather and tommy looked at each other and i knew they were very much in love. i just wish i had love like that. but with my past, its been too screwed up for love. after they said they're vows and finally put the rings on, we were off to the reception.

now i'm going to have to try my best to ignore him. we all sat down when everyone got their food, and as the maid of honor i had to stand for a speech. "ever since i had met tommy, he's been nothing but a sweet, caring, and loving friend. he was always a romantic, and sometimes he would fall too hard for a girl he liked," as i continued my speech i felt nikki's glare burning in my skull. god i hated this.

"to the lovely bride and groom!" i held up my glass as we toasted and tommy gave me a huge hug. now it was the best man's speech. he kept trying to stand up, but failed horribly. thankfully vince took over and did the speech. i cant believe he was shooting up now of all times.

after dinner we all gathered on the dance floor, and because of fucking stupid tradition i was suppose to dance with nikki. i sat down instead and hoped he would forget in his high state of mind. of course not. my chin rested on my hand when i felt someone stand behind me. i turned over and there was nikki. he held out a hand for me to take while he pulled me into him and led me to the dance floor.

"you look really beautiful tonight." he said looking down at me as his hands on my hips swayed my body to the rhythm. "and you look like shit." i rolled my eyes as i looked away from his eyes. this was going to be a long wedding.

"yea..." was all he said as my hand on his shoulder linked with his other hand as he led the dance. "i never meant to hurt you, you know." i looked up at him as he returned the gaze with hurt in his eyes.

"it's just i'm too fucked up for you, liv. you don't deserve me." i really just wanted out of his grip and to run away, but i had to do this for tommy. "yea well, you hurt me anyways." i looked sadly out to the crowd of all the other couples dancing while he remained staring down at me. there was a long time of silence before he spoke up again.

"can you forgive me please, and we can at least be friends again?" his voice cracked and my heart began to hurt. i hesitated for a while but all i let out was a, "maybe." i just laid my head on his chest as we danced throughout the night.

while i was resting on him, i let a few tears fall down my face without him knowing. the hard truth was that i think i still love him. maybe i'm weak for feeling that way, i don't know.

but for right now i just wanted to enjoy being together in each other's arms on the dance floor, while all the fucked up shit form the past few months blew away from my mind.

~
srry for the really shitty short chapter i suckkk at writing oml