"Now, Hannah, as your friend, I am going to be completely open and honest with you..." Chloe said once we'd returned home and cosied up on the sofa with a hot drink and a blanket wrapped around us. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"I don't know," I groaned.

"I know you're hurting because of Jude, but Felix doesn't deserve to be lied to. You need to message him and cancel the date."

"Yeah, but Chloe, you didn't see his face. I didn't want to hurt him."

"But Hannah, pretending to like Felix and going on dates with him is going to hurt him a lot more than just telling him you're not interested in him as anything more than a friend."

I sighed. She was right. Chloe was always right.

"I think I might've pissed Jude off as well," I said sadly. "I started interrogating him about Grace, and I don't think he liked that."

"So when did you realise you had feelings for Jude?" Chloe asked gently. "Last time I checked, it was Trent you wanted."

"I thought so too. It was only last night that I realised how I really felt about Jude. I think I've liked him for a while — I was just in denial about it."

"Are you going to tell him how you feel?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because he obviously doesn't feel the same if he's getting back with Grace!" I explained.

"You don't know that, Hannah."

"I do. And telling him how I feel would just make things awkward between us. I don't want to lose Jude. My life wouldn't be the same without him
in it."

Chloe gave a slight smile. "And to think that when you came here, you still hated his guts," she said.

"Funny how things change, I guess."

"Well, look, don't give up on Jude just yet. I still think you should talk to him about how you feel. In the meantime, make sure you end things with Felix before the situation gets worse."

"Okay," I sighed. I knew that telling Felix the truth was going to be extremely difficult to do, but it had to be done. He didn't deserve to be mistreated.

* * *

I tried to tell Felix the truth, but every time I composed a message or tried to tell him face to face, the words just wouldn't come out, and I ended up changing the subject. He was getting more and more
excited about the date we'd arranged, and Chloe was getting more and more frustrated with me, and understandably so. I lay awake in bed the night before the date, praying that a miracle would happen and I'd see Felix and start falling for him instead of Jude. Unfortunately, life wasn't at all that easy. I'd gotten myself into this mess, and it was up to me to get myself out of it, yet I was too much of a coward to open my mouth.

I figured that going on one date wouldn't do any harm. I'd go, have a nice time, and then tell
Felix that I'd enjoyed his company but didn't see the relationship going any further.

I reluctantly got out of bed and headed downstairs, craving one of Jude's signature hot chocolates. When we'd become friends, and whenever he stayed the night at our house, he'd always make me one if I couldn't sleep. We'd end up chatting for hours, and on one occasion, Jude had carried me up to my room after I'd fallen asleep mid-conversation on the sofa downstairs.

Perhaps Jude and I were in sync because, sure enough, when I entered the kitchen, he was sitting on one of the barstools, scrolling through his phone. He briefly looked upwards to see me standing there but said nothing. "Hey," I said anyway, trying to break the ice. It'd been five days since the party, and we hadn't spoken to each other since. "Can't sleep?" I added, trying to make conversation.

"No," Jude said, not once looking at me.

"Yeah, me neither." I started shuffling around the kitchen to make myself a drink. "Have you spoken to Jobe recently?"

"Mhm."

"How is he?"

"He's okay."

I glanced at Jude, his eyes still glued to his phone. I let out a heavy sigh. "Look, I'm sorry for what I said about Grace," "I said. "I was trying to look out for you. I don't want to see you get hurt, Jude."

"Well, it's too late for that," he said, finally meeting my gaze.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He looked at me, looking as if he was going to say something before quickly stopping himself. "I'm fine," Jude said eventually, "I'm with someone who actually wants me."

Puzzled, I frowned. I opened my mouth to question him further, but he cut me off.

"So...you and Felix, huh?" Jude said. "You two seemed cosy at the party."

"Yeah..."

"You must be happy, finally moving on from Trent and all."

"Jude —"

"No, no, it's good. You got what you wanted. I hope Felix makes you very happy. I hope you two get married someday and have kids and buy some house out in the countryside."

"Jude —"

"Because it's the least you deserve, Hannie. Really. You deserve to be happy." I could've sworn I saw his eyes brimming with tears, but Jude blinked them away before I could say anything. I wasn't sure how to respond, unsure if Jude genuinely meant what he said. It had always seemed as if he had a problem with Felix, so to me it seemed unlikely he'd suddenly changed his tune and wished me the best.

"I got you the shirt," Jude suddenly blurted out.

"Huh?" I said, wondering why he'd brought that up.

"The Grealish one. I got him to sign it for you. It was was my idea, not Jobe's."

"But why?" I asked him. "We weren't friends then. You hated me."

"I already told you that I've never hated you, Hannah."

"Well why did you tell me that Jobe got it for me?"

"Because I was embarrassed. We didn't exactly get along but I always..." Jude trailed off, looking to the ground.

"You always what?" I urged him to finish his sentence, but he didn't.

Instead, Jude said: "I hope the date goes well." He got up out of the chair and headed upstairs, leaving me with a whole load of questions but still no answers.

* * *

So far, the entire evening had been a disaster. I'd already twisted my ankle because of my stupid heels, I'd gotten foundation on the dress I was planning to wear, my hair just didn't seem to be falling right, and on top of everything my stomach was swirling with nerves and I wanted to throw up because of how nervous I felt. I suppose this was my karma for playing with the feelings of a guy who seemed like the sweetest person ever. Felix had shown up on my doorstep with a bouquet of flowers and a wide grin plastered across his face, and once again I'd been ridden with guilt.

Now we were sat across from each other in the restaurant, exchanging stories and laughing at each other's jokes. I couldn't help but compare his company to Jude's though. No matter how great Felix was, he wasn't Jude.

I think Felix noticed that something wasn't 100% right. There were a few occasions where his smile didn't quite meet his eyes although I tried my best to make it seem like I was having a good time. I was actually enjoying myself, but I saw Felix as a friend and not someone I could pursue a relationship with. Perhaps if Jude hadn't been in the picture, things might've been different.

It wasn't until Felix walked me home that I opened my mouth. "Felix," I began, faltering slightly but willing myself to carry on and be direct, "I've had an amazing time with you tonight, but —"

"But you'd rather us just be friends," Felix finished my sentence for me. He smiled. "I understand."

I started at him for a moment, checking for any traces of hurt in his eyes. "You're a wonderful guy, Felix, and I'm sorry that this didn't work out."

"It's okay, Hannah, honestly. I don't know who I was trying to kid — I saw the way you were looking at that guy at the party. James, was it? Anyone with half a brain could see that you like him."

"His name is Jude," I chuckled softly. "And yeah. I really do like him."

"I hope everything works out for you, Hannah. I really do."

"You're too kind, Felix."

His grinned widened, if that was even possible.

"When do you move back to Liverpool?" I asked him.

"Next week," he answered.

"Well my sister and her boyfriend live in Liverpool,
so maybe I can come visit you sometime."

"You know what, I'd really like that. You will stay in touch, won't you Hannah?"

"Of course."

Shortly afterwards, I hugged Felix goodbye, and stood on the doorstep watching him go. That went a lot smoother than I'd thought it would, but I still felt bad. Felix was too nice for his own good. I let out a heavy sigh. The one guy that was interested in me, and I'd turned him down because I didn't feel the same. I was an idiot.