I proceeded to sulk in my room for the next few days, only emerging when I needed to use the bathroom or wanted to get something to eat or drink. Hayley and Trent tried their best to motivate me to get dressed or leave the house for a few hours, but it never worked. Jobe even came round a couple of times, trying his best to cheer me up. We'd rewatch our favourite movies together and play silly board games, but even though that helped to lift my mood a little, I still couldn't bring myself to join the festivities taking place downstairs. I knew deep down that sulking about Jude and Grace wasn't going to change anything, but I couldn't bring myself to care.

One night, Dad even cracked open the family album and sat with me on my bed as we laughed at old photos from mine and Hayley's childhood and revisited fond memories. He kissed my forehead before taking himself off to bed, telling me that if I wanted to talk about anything, he'd always be there to listen. I knew that he knew something was wrong and he'd always been one to give me my space and allow me to come to him when and if I needed to. I appreciated that a lot — sometimes I wasn't always in the mood to talk things through, but just knowing he was there if I needed him made me feel a whole lot better.

On the third evening of locking myself away in my room, I was scrolling through Netflix looking for something to watch when there was a gentle tap on my door. Moments later, Mum walked through the door carrying a tray with a mug of tea and a few biscuits on a plate. She placed the tray on the table beside my bed and climbed under the covers next to me. "How you doing, Hannah Banana?" She asked me.

I smiled at the nickname before my eyes immediately filled with tears. "Not good, Mum," I answered honestly.

"You feel like telling me what's wrong? Your father and I have been worried sick."

"It's Jude," I barely managed to choke out.

"Oh sweetheart." Mum wrapped an arm around me, pulling me in for a hug. "What's that boy done?"

"He hasn't done anything...at least not deliberately."

Mum frowned slightly and I realised she looked just like my sister when she did that. "What do you mean, honey?"

A few tears began spilling down my cheeks. I quickly sniffled and wiped them away.

"Did you two fall out?" Mum prompted gently.

I nodded my head, deciding it was easier than just telling her the truth. I burst into tears all over again as Mum hugged me tightly, telling me that it was all going to be okay. I wanted to believe her, I really did, but right then it felt as if my whole world had come crashing down around me.

"Do you mind me asking what happened?" Mum said once I'd calmed down again.

"I don't really want to get into all that," I told her.

"That's okay, honey." She gave me a slight smile. "I know you're upset right now, but it's perfectly normal for friends to fall out. It doesn't mean that it's the end of your friendship. If I was you, I'd give it a little bit of time, just until the argument has settled down, and then I'd try talking to Jude about what happened."

I grinned back at her. She didn't understand the extent of the situation, but I appreciated her trying to help. "Okay, I will. Thanks Mum."

"I don't like that girl he's seeing," Mum added. "Apparently she can be very controlling. I reckon that's why she came to spend Christmas with him — she couldn't stand the thought of not knowing what he was up to."

"How'd you know she was controlling?" I asked her.

"Denise was talking about her. Her and Mark don't seem to think much of Grace."

That shouldn't have made me smile, but it did. If Grace really was controlling, then Jude deserved better.

Mum sat with me for a little while after that as we gossiped and giggled and watched a movie together. Eventually, she turned to me and smiled. "I know I haven't exactly been the best at showing it," she began, "but I am proud of you, Hannah."

I wasn't sure where that had suddenly came from, but I smiled and snuggled in closer to her. "I love you Mum," I told her.

"I love you too."

* * *

My mood improved significantly over the next few days. I immersed myself in family activities which helped to take my mind off Jude and I was a lot happier focusing on other things. The Christmas holidays flew by, though, and soon enough it was New Year's Eve and time to pack my belongings ready to head back to Dortmund. Only, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'd come to the realisation that Jude was one of the major factors keeping me in Germany, but now that our relationship was on the rocks, I didn't feel like travelling back there in a hurry.

After talking to Jobe and my parents, I decided that I was going to stay home for a little while longer. I did want to return to Dortmund, I had been happier there (mainly because of Jude), but I also had Chloe and Gio, and they'd done so much for me over the last couple of months.

I sighed and shook my head in disbelief. There I went again, running from my problems like a coward. It was a habit I needed to break.

On the day that Jude, Denise, and Grace were supposed to be leaving, I was cleaning my room when there was a knock on my bedroom door. I didn't expect to open it to see Jude standing on the other side, but there he was, looking sheepish. "Hey," he said.

"Hi," I responded. A few moments of silence followed. "Did you want to come in?"

He nodded, then stepped into my room, shutting the door behind him. "I just came to say goodbye," Jude said. "And to apologise for how I've treated you lately. Your mum had a go at me and I realised how unfair I've been to you."

"Did she now?" I chuckled.

He nodded, then paused. "I don't want to go without you, Hannah." Jude said eventually.

"I know, but...I can't come with you."

"But why not? I want us to be friends again, you don't know how much I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Jude, but I can't be just friends with you." I didn't mean for that to slip out, but it did.

Jude looked at me. "What? What do you mean we can't just be friends?"

"Because..." I took a deep breath. "Because seeing you with Grace hurts, Jude."

"I don't understand —"

"I know you don't feel the same...I know that. I just...whilst I feel the way I do about you, I can't be around you. It kills me to even look at you, knowing I can't have you. It hurts more than anything I've ever felt before."

"What are you trying to say?"

I looked at him with tears filling my eyes. I hadn't expected for any of this to come tumbling out of my mouth but it'd started and there was no going back. "I think you know," I said quietly.

The sudden silence between us was deafening. I was afraid I'd gone too far and had said too much, but simply keeping it inside was killing me. Jude's lips parted slightly, as if he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.

"Hannah —" He began.

"Jude!" Grace's voice floated up the stairs. "Come on, the taxi is here! It's time to go."

Jude glanced at me. I waited for him to say something, longed for him to rush forwards and kiss me, but he didn't. "I'll come and see you soon, Hannah. I promise," he said.

I felt my heart shattering into a million peaces. The next words I spoke were strangled in my throat as I desperately tried not to completely break down in front of him. "Goodbye, Jude."

"Goodbye, Hannah."

I watched him go, waiting until I heard the front door close before the sob rose up in my throat. I was overcome with an overwhelming melancholic wave of sadness, a great pang gripping my heart as I lay down on my bed and proceeded to cry myself to sleep.

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A/n: More chapters to come. Thank you for reading and voting :)