Chapter 41

We sat there for what could’ve been hours. We probably did. Eventually our cries had subsided and we were left in our own silence, the only sound coming from the rain as it hit the window, streaming down the glass and leaving patterns were the faint light from the evening hit the walls. 

It was fitting, that it was raining. It would’ve been a cruel irony for the sun to be out, shining brightly onto the house that held such pain and grievances. Instead, though were were graced with dark gray clouds and a rain that flooded the ground. It was anything but calm,but at the same time it was one of the most calming things I had seen. 

Draco and I sat there on the bed, curled up into each other’s arms without any intention of letting go. Occasionally he would cough, the sound muffled as he hid his face in his shoulder, but I could feel his chest convulse and shudder as it wracked itself out of his body, painful and sore and bloody. All I could do was hold him closer and hope that someone up there took pity on me and didn’t take him just yet, that I would get to be with him at least a little while longer.

He said it could be a month till it happened. But I could also be a day, and with the luck that we have had in the past I would estimate that the longest we would have would be a week. Maybe half. It was an awful thing to think, but our track record with such things seemed to be holding strong. I hid my face in his shirt, taking notice of the smaller things I had neglected before. The fabric was soft, the smell that lingered on it not his completely his own but it still had traces of him in it. His body, while still in shape from his time playing quidditch had softened slightly, leaving him leaner and more comfortably to lean into than he had been in years past. 

His head was resting on my shoulder, just near the crook of my neck. I could feel his breath against my skin, feeling warm against the cold air that surrounded us in the room. But I felt warm. We had gathered the blankets around us, making our own small cocoon that could shield us from a small part of reality and leave us in our own world, just for a little while. The thought, despite everything else, made me smile.

“Draco..” I mumbled quietly, and his head lifted from where it was rested comfortably on my shoulder. His expression was sleepy, and I felt that if I had not spoken to him he would have passed out from exhaustion in minutes. Dying, apparently, was no peaceful journey. Books always made it sound so peaceful in the end- I recently have found out that books lie.

He looked at me curiously, letting out a quiet yawn. I smiled weakly as he lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes. “What is it?” He asked softly, and I adjusted my body so I was facing him, instead of leaning into him.

“I should go... I need to let Sirius know I’m staying with you.” I mumbled quietly, watching him quietly to gauge his response. He paused for a moment, as if mulling something over before he sighed.

“You should go home.” He murmured, holding up a hand to stop me when I made to protest. “Just for the night, Potter. You can come again as soon you like tomorrow- I’ll be fine through the night.” He said gently, letting his hand cup my cheek gently. “I won’t leave you without saying goodbye.”

“Promise?” It seemed childish to ask that of him, and I know dying wasn’t exactly something he had under his control- But it would at least put part of me at ease. When he nodded, I couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on my face. The bed creaked as I moved forward, wrapping my arms around him in a small hug. The smile only widened when I felt his arms wrap around my back, his head resting on my shoulder.

“I’ll be right here when you get back.” He said quietly as he let me go, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead before helping me off the bed, his hands resting gently on my waist until he absolutely had to let go. The floor was cold underneath me, and my legs ached, having been curled up for such a long amount of time. I was picking my coat up off the floor when I felt his arms slide around my waist against, his back pressing into mine as I stood straight. His lips brushed my neck gently, and I sighed contentedly as I leaned back into him, closing my eyes. 

“I’ll miss you.” I spoke quietly. I could feel him smile against my skin, pressing one more light kiss to my neck before he moved back.

“I’ll see you tomorrow- we’ll be together then.” He said softly as I walked to the door. I glanced over my shoulder at him one last time. He was smiling softly as he looked at me, giving a small nod towards the door, a gesture that said ‘Go on.’ 

Smiling weakly I left the room, shutting the door firmly behind me. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes tightly. My hand still gripped the brass doorknob, as if unwilling to let go. Shaking my head, I moved away from the room, forcing my feet to move. One in front of the other. Simple. So why did it seem so hard? 

Walking down the stairs, I turned the corner to see Andromeda, Ted, and Tonks standing the living room, all three looking at me, but with very different expression. Andromeda looked bothered, Ted amused while Tonks was laughing.

“You Potter’s never do follow the rules, do you?” Andromeda said crossly, shaking her head at me. Ted chuckled quietly at his wife, glancing over at her fondly.

“She just wanted to see the boy, ‘Dromeda. I figured it wouldn’t hurt.” He said cheerfully, turning back to me with a kind smile. I smiled back weakly, not quite sure how to react. Obviously my time spent with Draco had not gone unnoticed. I could feel the blush run into my cheeks, heating up my face. Andromeda rolled her eyes, swatting her husband’s shoulder lightly.

“Well when Sirius asks where she’s been all this time, you can be the one to tell him.” She said crossly. Ted shrugged, looking unbothered by this as his daughter turned to me, tucking a strand of dark orange hair behind her ear. “Ready to head out, Lily?”

“Uh, yeah- Of course.” I gave a small nod, walking over to where she was standing by the fireplace. Her mood seemed to have proved from this morning, and that was a relief to see. She smiled encouragingly at me as I stood next to her.

“Sirius really won’t be that angry- he’ll understand.” She said in a confident tone, and I grimaced. I hope that would be the case, but I wasn’t completely sure. Sirius could be- to explain in the least offensive way- unpredictable. Moody. Tonks obviously got my expression because she laughed, bending down to pick up a handful of floo powder.

“You’ll be fine.” She murmured, handing the powder carefully and gesturing for me to step first into the fireplace. I did so, the ashes crunching under my feet. I had to bend my back slightly to stand, but it was nothing unbearable. I spoke quietly, just loud enough to be heard by Tonks before the ashes hit the floor, a bright green consuming my vision. It didn’t last long, though, and soon I found myself standing in the living room of 12 Grimmauld Place.

“Who’s there?” A voice called from the hallway, but before I could reply the figure turned the corner and stepped into the living room, revealing a surprised, then pleased Remus Lupin.

“Lily! There you are- You’ve been gone all day. Sirius has been worried.” He scolded- Not in a serious tone, but in one that told me he was glad I was back. I smiled softly, giving a small nod as I stepped away from the fireplace, brushing myself off.

“I apologize if I caused any worry- I got a little caught up.” I said, smiling sheepishly when Remus raised an eyebrow, looking amused.

“I figured- Why not you sit down? I’ll get you something to eat. Do you know if Tonks is coming back?” He asked, glancing towards the fireplace. I shrugged in response, smiling apologetically.

“I’m sorry- I think she was planning to. She might be talking to her parents for a little bit, though.” I suggested, and Remus nodded slowly, looking appeased and non-too surprised.

“That’s good then- I know she’s been meaning to. Anyways, what would you like to eat?” He asked, and I shrugged again, frowning slightly. “Um, anything really- Whatever you can find. You really don’t have to get me anything, though. I’m more than capable.”

Remus waved me off, smiling kindly. “Lily, you look exhausted- Just relax. I’ll be right back.” He said softly before darting off to the kitchen. I could hear him from where I sat on the couch, the sound of plates clinking against the counter and fridge opening and closing rapidly. I smiled weakly, falling back on the couch with a soft sigh. I closed my eyes, just focusing on the sounds from the kitchen when I heard a creek come from the front door, followed by a slam.

“Remus, I want her back- I don’t care if I have to go over there and drag her back myself, but sick or not I don’t want her in the same room as a boy by herself-”

“Sirius.”

“They could be doing things! She’s too young for that- She’s just a child. I’m not even quite sure why she’s in a relationship- when the hell did they get back together anyways!?”

“Sirius.”

“It’s one thing to snog in a cupboard, but it’s entirely another thing when they’re in a room, by themselves, able to-”

“Sirius, she’s home.” Remus’s voice sounded exasperated but amused, like he almost regretted cutting Sirius off before he could see just how long he would speak. “And keep your voice down- She’s absolutely exhausted. Don’t go and lecture her now.”

Ah, Remus. My saving grace. 

“She’s home? Lily!” Sirius’s tone lightened considerably as he stepped into the living room, and opening my eyes I smiled weakly at him. He smiled widely, looking cheerful as he plopped onto the couch next to me.

“Sirius!” I returned faintly, letting out a quiet yawn. He leaned over, pressing a light kiss to my cheek.

“Where have you been?”

“At the Tonks’s.” I said slowly, closing my eyes and curling up into the cushions on the couch, sighing contentedly. In all honesty, I just wanted to sleep. I could feel Sirius shift his position on the couch, leaning back against the arm of it.

“Who were you with?”

“Who do you think?” My tone was unusually snarky, but I was tired. Sirius grunted in reply, and I easily picture him rolling his eyes in a mix of amusement and annoyance. Sighing quietly, he leaned over and patted my head lightly.

“I expected as much- I’ll spare you the lecture for now.” He said dryly, and I looked up to smile gratefully at him, the affect lessoned by the fact that my eyes were closing slowly. He smiled softly at me, brushing the hair out of my face. “How is he?”

He realized he must’ve said something wrong because I couldn’t help the small sound that left me as my head fell back onto the pillow, wiping at my eyes before tears even had a chance to fall. Sirius bit his lip, looking apologetic as he brushed the hair out of my eyes.

“Not well, then?” He asked, his eyes saddening when I nodded, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. He scooted closer, shifting me so I was leaning against him, his arm around my shoulder.”I’m sorry, love. Is there anything I can do?”

“Not really.” I mumbled, and Sirius nodded slowly as Remus walked into the living room, carrying a tray that held an assortment of food. I smiled weakly as I took it in- It had everything from a small bowl of ice cream to mash potatoes, the main course being a large slice of pizza. I looked at it with surprise- I really hadn’t expected this much. 

“Did you make all this?” I asked as I pulled myself up to sit upright, picking up the tray and sitting it down in my lap. The food smelt delicious. Remus shrugged, smiling softly.

“With a little help of magic, yes.”

“You’re incredible- Thank you, Remus.” I smiled softly as I picked up the bowl of mash potatoes. Remus nodded, sitting down in the chair across from the couch. He looked just as tired as I did, and I realized the full moon must be soon- or perhaps had just passed. I’m sure Caiden would know: Since finding out about Remus’s condition, he had started to memorize the phases of the moon, and when they would happen. 

“I’m glad to be able to help- You seem to have had a rough day.” Remus said quietly, and I smiled weakly in return, taking my first bite. Heaven. Sirius retracted his arm from around me, folding them together on his lap as he rested his elbows on his knees. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him eyeing my food, and quietly I made a mental note to make sure he didn’t snatch any of it- I was starving.

“So how is Draco? Do they have any idea what’s happened to him?” Remus asked quietly, and I gave a weak shrug, swallowing my mouthful of mashed potatoes before speaking. 

“They’ve, um- The Death Eaters, I mean- They’ve got some kind of curse on him. He’s coughing up blood, a lot, and uh, apparently he’s passed out a couple of times from lack of air, like he’s not getting enough. I wasn’t there when it happened, but he told me..” I said softly, letting out a quiet sigh. “He’s pretty much resigned himself to his fate. He- he doesn’t think he has a chance at survival.”

“Oh, love.” Sirius murmured sympathetically. “I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged softly, leaning back into the couch. I hadn’t started crying again, which was good. I just felt numb- I felt sad, but from a distance of the actual emotion. Sirius sighed softly before he stood up, looking reluctant. “There’s an Order meeting tonight- Will be you be okay?”

I gave a small nod, and Sirius smiled softly as Remus stood up with him, brushing his pants off. “We’ll try and send someone over to keep you company- Caiden is over at Molly’s for the time being.”

“Alright.” I sighed quietly as Sirius leaned down, pressing a light kiss to my forehead. “Don’t be too long.”

“We won’t.” Sirius promised, giving a small nod. Remus waved as the two left the living room, leaving me by myself. Letting my head fall back on the couch, I curled up under a blanket, preparing to take a nap. I had lost my appetite- and surely the food would still be there when I woke.

___

“Lily? Wake up, flower-child..” A voice whispered, and groggily I registered the hand that was gently shaking my shoulder, trying- and succeeding- in waking me. I sat up, letting out a loud yawn as I rubbed at my eyes.

“You guys are home already?” I mumbled, opening my eyes and frowning when I registered red hair. I sat up more, scooting back on the couch as my eyes adjusted. Fred. Or George. I wasn’t sure.

“Hi?” I mumbled, and the twin grinned back at me.

“Glad to see you’re awake!” He said cheerily, and I smiled weakly, giving a small nod as I ran my hand through my hair, trying to smooth it out. While I didn’t have the messy-hair-gene like my father had, or Harry, I did tend to move and squirm a lot in my sleep. 

“You’re...George? Fred?” I asked bleakly, and the twin shrugged.

“You got it right the first time.”

“George.” I said with a small smile, the small widening when he nodded in confirmation.

“Morning, Lily.”

“Hey, yeah- What’re you doing here?” I mumbled, glancing down at the still mostly-full tray of food that sat on the coffee table. It looked like Lucy had jumped up and gotten hold of the rest of the mash potatoes. Damnit.

“Sirius and Remus sent me- They didn’t want you home by yourself, and I didn’t absolutely have to be at the meeting. And Fred can fill me in later, anyways.” He said, falling back onto the couch next to me. “I heard about Malfoy- He’s not my favorite person in the world, but no one deserves that. I’m sorry you two have to go through it.”

He glanced over at me with a concerned frown, and I gave a soft shrug, leaning over to pick up the now-cold slice of pizza off the plate, biting into it. George raised an eyebrow, glancing over at the food, or in particular, the ice cream.

“Help yourself.” I mumbled when I had swallowed, and George grinned gratefully before picking the bowl up, helping himself. We ate in silence for awhile, my legs propped up on his lap as he practically licked the bowl clean.

“So have you just been sleeping the whole time?” He asked after he had finished, simultaneously wiping his mouth and setting the bowl back down on the tray. I nodded, biting into the crust of my pizza. George glanced at his watch, sighing softly.

“I suppose that would make sense- It is eleven, after all. You wanna head on up to bed?” He suggested, nudging me lightly with his shoulder. “I’ll be right down here if you need me.”

I shook my head, letting out a small yawn. “Nah, it’s fine- I’ll keep you company.” I said, curling comfortably into the couch. I was still a little sleepy- As one would be at eleven in the night- But I had taken a small nap already,and I didn’t want to leave George by himself. He had left the Order meeting to come over, after all, and I didn’t want it to be for nothing. George smiled gratefully at me, giving a small nod as he leant back into the couch, putting his hands behind his head.

“Very well then, Lily. What do you suggest we do?” He asked, and I shrugged in reply, mulling it over for a minute or two before I finally spoke.

“More food?” 

He laughed, nodding as he sat up. He glanced over at me, grinning amusedly. “I like your thinking.” He said cheerfully, standing up and reaching a hand out towards me. Taking it, I let him pull me to my feet. The floor was cool under my feet, but before I was able to comment on it I was being pulled towards the kitchen.

“What do you lot have, anyways?” He asked, letting go of my hand to allow me to sit down at the table as he rummaged through the fridge, occasionally setting something out on the counter. “How do sandwiches sound?”

I smiled weakly at him, making an effort to widen it when he grinned over at me encouragingly.

“Sandwiches sound great.”

__

The next morning I sat in my room, running a brush through my hair quickly. George and I had eaten quickly, not speaking much between mouthfuls. I had enjoyed his company though- He managed to keep my mind off Draco for the night, and had ushered me back into bed after our late-night snack. I had guessed he remained downstairs throughout the night- I wasn’t sure. He hadn’t been there when I woke up. Instead, his spot had been taken by Sirius, who had smiled warmly at me as I walked downstairs.

Breakfast had passed by quickly- I had shoved my food in my mouth as quick as possible- Draco had said I could come visit again today, and I wanted to get in as much time as possible. Remus would occasionally glance up at me in amusement, though something else tinged his expression- Concern? Worry? Whichever it was, I brushed it off. I had no wish to dwell on it.

Now I sat in my bedroom. I didn’t bother to pay too much attention to my wardrobe- a t-shirt and sweats did well. Letting my hair hang loose, I slipped my sneakers on before walking down the stairs. Caiden looked up from where he was playing on the floor with Lucy, his nose crinkling up as he glanced over at me.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna go see Draco.” I said, smiling softly as I leant down to press a light kiss to his forehead. “Tell Sirius where I’ve gone, alright?”

“Alright. Have fun.” Caiden said, smiling back at me as I stepped into the fire place, grabbing a handful of floo powder. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes as I dropped the powder, speaking clearly before taking off in a whirl of green. Arriving at the Tonks house, I brushed myself off. Andromeda was sitting on the couch, flipping through a newspaper. She glanced up at me with a small smile but didn’t say anything as I moved past her, walking up the stairs and down the hall.

I cracked the door open, peeking inside. I could see Draco’s pale blond hair against the pale blue of his pillow, and I slipped my shoes off at the door before closing it as quietly as possible behind me. Gray eyes opened, watching me as I walked over. I had only meant to sit on the edge of the bed, but he moved fast, his arms reaching up and pulling me to him, a mischievous smile pulling at his lips.

I found myself easily smiling back, curling into him contentedly, comfortable against the familiar shape of his body. At Grimmauld, I was happy. I loved Hogwarts. But in Draco’s arms I was home.