Katie: Hey girls! Are you excited for this battle?

Skye: I'm very excited!

Bridget: Me too!

Owlette: We all are! Let's put the episode!

Catboy: Alright, here it comes

Wiz: Today we're pitting two of the most worthless damsels-in-distress against each other

Vampirina: Pff... That doesn't exist! Everyone here can take care of themselves

Owlette: That's right!

Boomstick: If they're not getting kidnapped, they are always nagging at you to do stuff

Wiz: Princess Zelda, from the realm of Hyrule...

Poppy: Oh! Link's princess...

Boomstick: ...and Princess Peach, of the Mushroom Kingdom

Batarina: And Mario's princess...

Katie and Ella: (squeals)

Wiz: I'm Wizard and he's Boomstick, and it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle

Gecko: Let's see this!

Princess Zelda

BACKGROUND
Full Name: Zelda Hyrule
Race: Hylian
7th Sage/Maiden
Descendent of the Goddess Hylia
Blessed with wisdom of Naryu
Stubborn and feisty
Noble and Wise

Wiz: Being a descendent of the house of Hyrule, Princess Zelda has spent her entire life governing her Kingdom

Ladybug: Wow...

Lolo: That's interesting

Wiz: Despite having a king, the majority of royal decisions are actually made by her

Chase: Of course, since she is going to be the queen one day

Armadylan: That's true

Boomstick: Talk about a control freak. And why do they let her get away with it. I mean, she's lost her kingdom to the forces of evil more times than I can count!

Marshall: Oh man...

Zuma: That's a lot!

Wiz: Between being waited on hand and foot, Zelda has spent some time training with her modest arsenal

WEAPONRY
Royal Sword
Dagger
Light Bow
-Weapon of Choice
Light Arrow
-Destroys evil
-Can even damage phantoms

Boomstick: Bows, magic, musical instruments, she even carries a sword and dagger, but has little
experience with it. Her weapon of choice is the bow, which she wields with deadly accuracy

Poppy: I bet Minnie would like to have that type of bows

Boomstick: Plus, she can use her magic to turn an ordinary arrow into the powerful Light Arrow,
perfect for killing evil

Sonicboy: That sounds cool!

Owlette: No kidding Pablo!

MAGIC
Minor Telekinesis
Prophetic Dreams
One-Way Telepathy
Farore's Wind
Nayru's Love
Din's Fire

Wiz: Speaking of which, Zelda is an incredible potent spellcaster. While most of her magic is for use outside of combat, she is more than capable of holding her own. She can teleport with Farore's Wind, shield herself with Nayru's Love and cast
pyrokinetic projectiles with Din's Fire

Boomstick: Also she can talk... with dead people

Vampirina: I did that once...

Wiz: Spirits

Boomstick: Like Boos?

Gecko: You mean the ghosts from Luigi's Mansion?

Demi: And from the whole Mario series?

Ryder: Looks like it...

Wiz: Zelda is also the legendary bearer of the Triforce of Wisdom, a testament to her astute mind

TRIFORCE OF WISDOM
1/3 of the Triforce
Enhances magical ability
Leads bearer to wise decisions
Protects bearer from evil
Creates faultless disguises
-Sheik of Sheika
-Tetra the Pirate Captain

Wiz: This greatly enhances her magical prowess and gives her the power to dispel evil. She is even
skilled enough to create long lasting disguises

Wiz: She used the guise of Sheik to evade Ganon's tyranny for over seven years

Klonoa: Wait a minute! Zelda is Sheik?!

Catboy: What in the world?!

Zuma: Woah woah woah... what?!

Boomstick: Wait, that's a chick? But where's her... uh...

Night Ninja: Girl parts?

Girls: Night Ninja!

Owlette: You didn't have to say it!

Luna Girl: Ugh! It reminds me of the battle of those two heroines...

Batarina: Yeah! Boomstick's words were very embarrasing, ever for teenagers like us

Catboy: So true

Leopard: They really were embarrasing for them...

Gecko: Yeah...

Wiz: It SHOULD be noted, however, that the forms of Sheik and Tetra are nothing more than disguises,
and abilities attributed to them would naturally be available to Zelda

Boomstick: Yeah, but why would you wanna toss tiny needles at people when you can shoot fireballs with your mind?

Rocky: Woah! She can do that?!

FEATS
Evaded Capture as Sheik for 7 years
Leader of the Seven Sages
Never questioned by subjects
Often helps finish off Ganon
Usually relies on guardians and sanctuaries

Wiz: While Zelda is clever, mystically powerful and helps battle Ganon when necessary, she repeatedly relies on the aid of others

Wiz: Her success at avoiding capture can be largely attributed to her guardians and sanctuaries

Boomstick: She is REALLY getting people to do stuff for her

Leopard: I think Link is an example

Owlette: Wait! That can't be true! Or it is?

Wiz: Right, she is a master manipulator. She can always convince a naive young hero to do her dirty work with little to no reward

Boomstick: How many times does this guy gotta save ya? Put up already!

Naive young hero (Link): You called for a hero, princess?

Zelda: Yes. But I guess you'll have to do

Owlette: Oh...

Leopard: I knew he was an example

Vampirina: Let's see if Peach is better than her...

Princess Peach

Wiz: At first glance, Princess Peach appears to be your standard, meek and helpless damsel-in-distress

Boomstick: And that's pretty damn accurate

Katie: Hey! Don't say that!

Everest: That she is always getting kidnapped doesn't mean she is defendless

BACKGROUND
Full Name: Princess Peach Peach Toadstool of the
Mushroom Kingdom
Favors technique over power
Classy & graceful
Resourceful & athletic
Generous to a fault
Has been playable in 39 of her 57 games

Boomstick: Being a member of the Royal Toadstool Family, Peach spends most of her times getting
herself kidnapped, or baking cakes in the kitchen like any good woman should

Owlette: But we are not always like that, some of us are heroines

Vampirina: And I'm a vampire who can scare the ones who try to kidnapped me

Poppy: That's true

Bridget: Um... I don't think I'm the type of girl you are...

Skye: If you were in danger, who will you call to save you?

Bridget: Silver...

Rarity: (scoffs)

Spike: Oh no... not that hedgehog who Rarity likes...

Catboy: Actually Spike... Silver will already have Bridget...

Spike: Phew! Much better... but she looks like she is jealous of Bridget...

Wiz: Despite being a wealthy princess with a royal guard more than capable of defending the castle, she has been kidnapped over a DOZEN times

Boomstick: Yet somehow, while still behind bars, she can send mail to Mario through outer space containing items and extra lives. Hey lady, next time send yourself!

Katie: That's a terrible idea!

Ella: Yeah! We won't fit in a card or in a box!

Wiz: Peach is an incredibly athletic and capable fighter. She has participated in a variety of different sports, including soccer, basketball and kart racing, and has survived every single Mario Party.
And as we said before, Mario Party is no walk in the park

Catboy: Nope! It's not...

Armadylan: A death trap is not easy to play...

WEAPONRY
Tennis Racket
Golf Club
Frying Pan
Turnips
-Can pluck from any location
Perry the Parasol
-Can transform to suit terrain
-Can stun enemies
Peach Bomber

Boomstick: Peach's unique array of weaponry includes a tennis racket, golf club, frying pan, and turnips, which she can pull out of her-

Romeo: From where?

Batarina: Uh... I don't think we should find out...

Wiz: She ALSO wields Perry the Parasol, an umbrella capable of powerful strikes and magical
properties

Carlos: Woah! Who will knew a umbrella can do that?

Vampirina: Nancy will like to see that

Rarity: That's an amazing umbrella!

Boomstick: Oh, and one of her most valuable weapons is her ass!

Armadylan: Wait! What?!

Rubble: Yikes...

Boomstick: She can hit someone with that thing so hard that something down their explodes

Gecko: That's weird...

Catboy: Very weird...

HEART POWER
Floatation
Therapy Healing Spell
Mute Spell
Sleepy Time Spell
Vibe Powers
-Joy:Wind-Powered flight
-Gloom: Increases speed, damaging tears
-Calm: Creates a healing bubble
-Rage: Invulnerability, increases weight
Mega Strike Empress Peach

Wiz: Peach also wields a form of magic called Heart Power. With it, she can float in mid-air for an indefinite period of time, cast healing spells, and summon lambs from the sky to put her foes to sleep

Fluttershy and Bridget: AW...

Boomstick: Don't pet that sheep, or you might wake up in a stranger's van

Gecko: And sheeps help you fall asleep

Owlette: Yep! That's right

Wiz: And ever since being touched by the Vibe Scepter, she can channel her emotions into raw
mystic power

Everest: Wow! Amazing!

An-Yu: That's an amazing scepter...

Wiz: When she rages, she becomes invulnerable, but slows her tremendously-

Boomstick: Hold up! Touched by the WHAT NOW?!

Wiz/Others: The Vibe Scepter

Tuck: He doesn't know about it?

Chase: Guess not...

Boomstick: *Laughing*

Chase: Or yes...

Wiz: *realizes* oh... *clears throat* but Peach can also reach her climax with-

Boomstick: *Laughs even harder*

Peck: What's so funny Boomstick?

Callie: Uh... Peck... I think we know why...

Owlette: Oh sheesh...

Batarina: Uh oh...

Vampirina: Oh no... don't mention it...

Wiz: ... with her Mega Strike technique, Empress Peach, a kick so powerful, it splits a soccer ball into three separate ones, delivering enough force to score three times

Skye: She is good at soccer!

Owlette: Like me!

Sonicboy: Woah... Peach is just like you, Owlette

Owlette: Well... she is not compared to me, but you're right

Boomstick: *Still laughing* STOP! I CAN'T TALK! HAHAHA!

Owlette: Boomstick...

Batarina: He sometimes can be an idiot...

Aquafish: Especially in that chapter...

Ladybug: You're right...

Wiz: Peach's Heart Power also naturally dispels evil magic, which is the actual reason why Bowser
always kidnaps her

Boomstick: Really? I always thought it was because... well...

Catboy: Because he wanted to marry her?

Tuck: That only was seen in Super Mario Odyssey...

Gecko: Because he wanted her to be the queen?

Tuck: It seemed like...

Romeo: Because he thinked she was hot?

Girls:(gasps) Romeo!

Romeo: What? It can be that too... why would he kidnap her, maybe because he thinks she is so beautiful...

Bridget:(gulps) If only Silvy was here to help me...

Callie: Or Knuxie...

Poppy: Or Espio...

Mothsuki:(to herself) Or Vector...

An-Yu:(to herself) Or Leonardo...

Vampirina:(to herself) Or Shadow...

Rainbow Dash:(to herself) Or Sonic...

Luna Girl: (hugs Gecko)

Owlette: (hugs Sonicboy)

Rip: (hugs Armadylan)

Aquafish and Ladybug: (hugging each other)

Skye: (hugs Chase)

Everest: (hugs Marshall)

Ella: (hugs Zuma)

Katie: (hugs Ryder)

Fluttershy: (hugs Klonoa)

Batarina: (hugs Guntz)

Guntz:(notices Batarina) Stop hugging me...

Batarina:(blushes) Oops! Sorry...

Armadylan:(thinks) Ooh~ my sister has a crush... and well... maybe I do like that wolfie girl...

FEATS
Eager to assist in battle whenever she can
Once saved Mario and Luigi from Bowser single-
handedly
Survived every Mario Party
Can never avoid a kidnapping
An awful employer
Bakes really big cakes

Wiz: Peach has assisted Mario in battle several times, once even saving him Bowser by her own

Klonoa: She confronted Bowser on her own?

Ladybug: That's amazing!

Popka: She is so brave!

Wiz: Even so, she still needs rescue on a daily basis. And her gratitude usually goes as far as a kiss and a
cake

Bridget: Aww... that's so sweet... I wonder if I can do the same thing with Silver...

Rarity: (growls)

Spike: And that Rarity does that with me...

Boomstick: What's with all these princesses not putting out. Give it up already!

Girls: Boomstick!

Peach: Listen everybody, let's bake a delicious cake.. for Mario

Catboy: Well... that's peachy...

Everyone: (laughs)

Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all

Boomstick: It's time for a Death Battle!

The background were tall mountain- like hills shaped like thin rectangles that stood vertical and some had wooden bridges attached too some. Everyone sees Peach gently float down on the
bridge with her parasol and Zelda appears out of thin air through her teleportation spell as the two princesses prepare to fight.
Who will be the superior damsel in distress?

FIGHT!

Peach (somehow) pulls two turnips from the bridge and throws them at Zelda who deflects them with Nayru's Love which sends them back and hits Peach in the face. Peach cries, activating her Gloom Vibe Power, creating trails of tears that turn the bridge slippery which Zelda struggles to keep her balance. With Zelda distracted, Peach uses Peach Bomber and knocks her back really far. Zelda teleports behind Peach and kicks her in the air, followed by Zelda throwing multiple shots of Din's Fire which knocks Peach further into the air. Zelda kicks Peach multiple times and kicks her
down towards the bridge. Before Peach could even hit the bridge, time slowed down as Zelda
teleported in front of Peach and hit with an enhanced strike that knocked her back far.

Vampirina:(to herself) Whatever Zelda is doing... it kinda reminds me of Shadow's Chaos Control...

Ella: Careful Peach!

Honey Lemon: Get her Zelda!

The Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom focused and summoned a Sleepy Time Sheep which is hurtled into the air while bleating in surprise towards The Princess of Hyrule. Zelda uses Nayru's Love to deflect the sheep and throws it back at Peach who uppercuts the sheep into the air by using Perry. The sheep rockets high into the sky.

Fluttershy:(gasps) Poor little sheep...

Skye: Oh man...

Zelda teleports in front of Peach... and slaps her across the face.
Peach slapped Zelda back in the same manner.

Catboy: Oh no... I guess there will be a slapping fight...

Gecko: They are slapping each other...

Both stared at each other for a few seconds and both were now trading slaps at rapid pace until Zelda gets stunned which Peach uses a frying pan and hits Zelda with it which causes Zelda to be knocked back across the bridge.

Katie: Good move Princess Peach!

Zelda gets her bow and Light Arrow and prepares to fire it. Peach taps into her Rage Vibe Power and
becomes invulnerable but it slows her down a bit. Zelda fires her Light Arrow and hits Peach but it
doesn't seem to do anything to her but it did create enough force to disintegrate the bridge they were
standing on.

Aquafish: Oh no... careful girls!

Peach uses Parry to slow her fall but is forced to dodge and weave when Zelda appeared and used
Din's Fire. Peach manage to dodge most of them but then gets hit by Zelda teleporting behind her
and unable to block the fireball with her frying pan. Peach predicts where Zelda will appear in which she turns around and hits Zelda several time and knocks her away as they reach the ground. Once they both reached the ground, they both
used their magic and fully healed themselves (different sounds during the healing were heard and their respective heart meters showed). Both damsels in distress began launching their respective projectiles, Peach with her turnips and Zelda with Din's Fire, at each other. Suddenly, something is falling towards them at increased
velocity as neither princess noticed. Before anyone knew it, the sheep, from earlier, landed on Zelda which sends her to Dreamland.

Fluttershy: There's the sheep!

Klonoa: And it landed on Zelda...

Catboy: Your move worked Peach!

Peach: Alright!

Peach makes a huge leap backwards, sprouts her Empress Peach wings, and rockets towards Zelda and kicks her in the head... which EXPLODES. Blood was splattered everywhere as Zelda's cries echoed and then... silence.

Peach: Did I win?

Tuck: Yep! You win!

K.O!

Boomstick: GOOOOOAAAL!

Owlette: Wow! That was unexpected!

Chase: Way to go Princess!

Vampirina: That was awesome!

Rainbow Dash: You said it!

Wiz: Zelda's offensive arsenal is relatively limited and predictable compared to Peach's quirky repertoire

Boomstick: And while most most of Peach's attacks arne'y fatal, the mega strike, Empress Peach, gave her a leg up

Gecko: So true!

Wiz: See, a soccer ball is typically a kept add upto 12 psi, but since Peach's mega strike creates 2 more, it has enough force to add up to 24 pounds per square inch, or about 165,000 newtons per square meter, as 1,000 newtons can cause decapitation and 15 psi can shatter the skull, the mega strike was so over-excessive, it didn't just kill
Zelda, it obliterated her

Armadylan: That's right

Boomstick: She got kicked in the face really hard and it went boom

Wiz: Yeah, in layman's terms, I guess...

Boomstick: Peach sure fleeced out in this fight

Everyone: (laughs)

Sonicboy: That was as fun as Catboy's pun!

Wiz: The winner is Princess Peach

Tuck and Ella: (howls)

Katie: Yeah! I knew she will win!

Owlette: We all did...

Batarina: First Mario won against Link, and now Peach won against Zelda

Catboy: If Mario had saw her, he will be proud of his woman

Kit: You're right Catboy!

Leopard: Yeah... you're right kitty...

Catboy: (blushes)

Tesh: Okay! On to the next episode!

Callie: I'm sure we will like it

Batarina: Especially Kit...

Kit:(thinking while blushing) I think I know what is she meaning... let's hope he wins the battle...

Next episode: Luigi VS Tails