The limo stopped at my hotel and I scurried out getting up to my hotel room. I shut the door, took a glance at Tokyo and then I went to change into my kimono and slippers.

I couldn't help but think of Michael. I truly did miss him, but we were put in such an unfortunate situation. Record labels were asking to compete with each other in a cutthroat industry. As much as healthy competition isn't bad, I wasn't trying to tarnish our relationship. Because I loved him so much, I gave him the opportunity he deserved  with no competition and I said I'd figure something out on my own.

He'd already received so much fame but I just knew he'd be more famous than Elvis someday. I'd work twice as hard as him, everything came to him so naturally...it almost didn't seem fair at times, you know? Combined with his grit, passion and assertiveness there was nothing he couldn't do.

He'd just bought his first apartment and was living in New York City...almost across the country from me and his family so our only options were to call. And mixed with our busy schedules it almost became impossible for us to find the time.

I still loved him so much but we were definitely becoming two different people. I had my thing, and he had his.

I sat on my bed and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels. All of a sudden, Michael was on TV. I stopped and stared at it. He was sitting in a chair, the backround was black and music was quietly playing.

"She's Out Of My Life" just from that first line I could feel the tears rolling down my eyes.

"And I Don't Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry
...I Don't Know Whether To Live Or Die" Looking into his eyes felt like being stabbed, like I could feel his pain. Like a mirror image. He looked so hurt.

I missed the nearness of him.

My producer and manager and choreographer had plans for me throughout this brand new decade. And honestly, I started feeling the same way he did.

A tear with a hint of glitter fell on a piece of paper layed on my bed. It had a few words on it. It was a song I worked on. There were a few words but they didnt make much sense.

But maybe this is what growing up really is...maybe things happen for a reason. But I mean look at us...Im not even 21 yet, Michael just turned 22. We're so young but we're getting older...and maybe this was just a
chapter of our life and we have to move on to the next story. With new characters, plots and situations.