Jade knows that Perrie is trouble. She knows it, oh, she knows it.
There is smudged writing on the bathroom stalls of their high school that warns everyone about Perrie, that calls her a bitch and a heartbreaker and other things Jade wouldn't care to repeat.
She's heard every nasty rumour. It's like a parent telling you not to talk to strangers — it's just something everyone knows not to mess with.
Jade doesn't go to parties, and she doesn't go for a reason. Jade Thirlwall isn't someone who gets invited to parties. She's the kind of person who sits quietly while others chat about what tiny black dress they're wearing, and who they hope to see there.
But this isn't just a party, this is a graduation party. Which means that everyone is invited, including the lonely school nerd.
And she decides to go.
*
After much consideration, Jade decides to wear the nicest skirt she owns with a tame blouse. It seems like a safe bet, covering both of the party outfit criteria: cute and a little revealing.
The other girls at the party have taken the latter option way farther than Jade has. There are people there with barely any material covering their bodies as they lean on walls, girls with their stomachs exposed, girls with dresses so tight that certain areas are threatening to spill. In a room of such fearless, confident girls, Jade feels like a nun.
"Hi, cutie."
It is the most seductive voice Jade has ever heard. It is smooth like melted caramel, and dangerous like an open flame.
Perrie's smile is toxic and beautiful. Her lips are coated in red, the color of dripping blood.
Jade can feel her own blood race to her cheeks. "Hi!" She squeaks. It is too eager and too loud, but for some reason, this makes Perrie's smile grow wider.
"You're Jade."
"You're Perrie." It is the only thing she can think to say in reply.
Perrie's kaleidoscope eyes glint in the poor fluorescent lights of the kitchen. Jade wonders how she ended up in this situation; standing in the middle of a stranger's house with horny teenagers grinding and drinking all around her, with the vibrations of the bass at her feet. The atmosphere is electric, and something inside of her likes it.
"Want a drink?" Perrie reaches over to pour herself something.
"Sure," Jade tries to sound nonchalant. In reality, she has never had a sip of anything alcoholic in her life.
Perrie pours her something in a plastic cup, and Jade takes it willingly.
It unexpectedly burns as it goes down, but Jade works to keep her face neutral. She must be so damn obvious, though, because Perrie places her slick lips near Jade's ear to whisper something.
"You'll get used to the burn."
*
Three hours later, Jade is being pressed up against a wall of an empty room.
She has never been kissed with such ferocity or by someone who is so experienced. Perrie knows all the rights spots and all the right moves. Jade knows that's probably not a great thing, but Perrie hitches up Jade's legs around her waist and all logical thought is lost. The alcohol is making her vision a little blurry, but she knows that she wants this. She craves human touch, she craves Perrie.
She has never realized how lonely a person can be and not know it until this very moment.
*
They do it one time in a stranger's bedroom. There are photos from a family vacation to Disneyland on the walls and a photo strip from one of those cheap mall photo booths framed on the dressers. Jade feels so uncomfortable staring into the happy eyes of an innocent family while Perrie is on top of her that she begs the brunette to take her somewhere else, anywhere else.
She expects Lauren to be annoyed. Instead, Perrie collects their clothes silently and guides Jade through the dense crowd of seventeen year olds needed to pass to access the door.
While they walk, Jade can feel eyes on her. It's unnerving, having so many people judging you at the same time, but the mixture of the alcohol and the adrenaline high from what she has just done makes her numb to the feeling.
*
They do it twice more in a hotel room that Perrie claims she gets for free. Jade doesn't consider what this means for very long, because sleep overtakes her — and frankly, at this point Jade can barely form a respectable sentence, let alone muse over such ideas.
*
There is a body next to her when she wakes up. For a moment, Jade completely panics. There is a sharp, incessant pain in her head and a strangers hand on her skin.
But the events of the night before slowly comes back to her in pieces, in moments, and eventually Jade's racing heart drops it's speed. It's Perrie, just Perrie.
Perrie, who made everything gentle and kissed her in all the right places. With Perrie's fingers limply curled on her skin, Jade feels like there is an empty hole filled in her heart.
Instinctively she curls into Perrie's body. The sudden movement alerts the other girl though, and she stirs. Jade's heart flutters as Perrie's sleepy eyes open next to Jade's.
They are such a beautiful olive color in the bright morning light. For a moment, Jade pretends that Perrie is the love of her life, and this is just another morning together.
"Good morning."
Perrie says nothing. She simply pushes herself out of bed, breaking contact with Jade. Jade suddenly feels very cold, like she's just stepped out of a fire and into a blizzard.
The morning light casts shadows across Perrie's body as she dresses herself in pristine silence. Jade feels another sharp stab, but this time, it isn't in her head.
"You can stay," Jade says without thinking about it. It isn't a suggestion, it is a plea. Please stay with me. I am so lonely and you make everything a little less painful, a little more exciting, a lot more dangerous. "Just for another little while."
Perrie hesitates.
Jade wonders if this is the first time she's ever been asked to stay after a one night stand.
"Why?"
The question slaps Perrie across the face. She can feel the regret and tears building all over her body. "I don't know. Because I don't want you to go."
It is enough of an answer for Perrie.
For just another moment, Jade can pretend she is happy.
*
Three hours later, Jade is lonely, and she thinks of Perrie.