Chapter 22

Casper woke up with barely any light seeping through his window. He had never gotten into the habit of closing his blinds, his mother was always nagging on at him for it, and had unconsciously took in an accurate way of guessing the time judging just by how much his room was lit up just from his window. He could tell right then that it was early, early than most school days he woke at no matter how much his mum joked he was an early riser and how much James complained about the same thing from under the pillow as he urged him, chirpy and awake.

Still, it was too early and Casper groaned, snuggling into his bed more only to pause at the feeling on another body still pressed against his, the warmth almost overwhelming as it caught up with his disorientated state and he smiled at the soft, sleepy breaths emitted from his boyfriend, still all limbs tangled in his own and still partially naked.

Casper remembered what had happened last night and he smiled wider, edged closer as much as he dared without waking up the taller boy who groaned in his sleep at the movement but didn't wake.

Casper stared at him, feeling like a creep, but not giving a fuck. James was too pretty for his own good with his eyelashes and his hair and his perfectly structured face down to his abs. Not to mention he was good at everything so it was nice that last night Casper had made him lose control. Casper had been in charge but at the same time his equal. It had felt great, the rush of pleasuring him, of James shaking beneath him for Casper and calling out his name in ecstasy.

It was exhilarating and he felt closer to James the way he never had before. It was somehow more intimate now - more serious. As if he was looking at James from a new prospective and seeing all of him. It was sort of scary in a way, that was only their first time and Casper felt this open about James. He could only imagine what it would feel like if they did it again, went even further.

Casper trailed his finger on James' chest, feeling the bumps and dips on his torso, circling his nipples with care.

"This is edging on somniphilia, Cas." James mumbled. Casper yelped slightly snatching his hand away and his cheeks blazing red as he saw James awake, watching him from sleepy slits. James smirked lazily at Casper's reaction and pulling him in even closer so Casper's head dipped into his collar bone, his skin oddly soft and fresh feeling.

"In your dreams," Casper countered, cringing a little as the comeback was just as bad as the 'your mum' jokes.

"I think that's the whole point actually," James breezed, teasing," me being asleep, dreaming, while you take advantage of my position with your sick, sick needs-"

Casper pinched him to shut him up and James gave out a pained laugh into Casper's wild hair.

The two boys lay in silence for a while, taking in the quiet, the only sound being of the morning birds chirping happily outside while the world stirred awake slowly to the rising sun that lit the room up a light yellow.

"You know I was half expecting it to suck and be totally awkward afterwards?" James confessed suddenly, breaking the silence and was almost too loud in the quiet of the room, bouncing off the walls and echoing around Casper's ears.

"What made you think that?" Casper asked, a slight defence building up in his chest. Sure he had expected the same thing, mostly on himself, but it still sort of hurt and touched at his pride a little.

"Because my first ever experience was fucking awful," James laughed." And with you, it's like entirely different - new, even. I mean - you're a guy for starters. I had no idea how to... you know. And you were a virgin so I didn't want to-"

"How'd you know I was a virgin?" Casper demanded with a frown.

James turned and gave a pointed look.

"If you had ever lost your virginity we would have never heard the end of it." James laughed but fondly.

Casper shrugged it off, knowing that James was probably right. Or if he hadn't told it openly he would have either told Daisy or Darla and that would have gotten out anyway.

"But I've never did anything with a guy or a virgin," James continued, looking to the ceiling and blushing. "I- I was sort of freaking out in my own way I guess. I wanted to do it so much but I wasn't sure if I'd do anything right and you'd be put off sex for good and leave me for good because it just plain sucked. And that would suck because I want there to be an us for a long while yet." James turned to Casper, his eyes honest and open and Casper gasped silently at him.

There he was doing it again, pouring his heart out and making Casper fall for him even more with knowing that James was just as scared as he had been last night even with wanting it so badly. James was just as insecure as Casper and it was weird how Casper just wanted to jump him from strong feelings of attraction that suddenly shot through him.

So instead Casper snaked his hands around James neck and one up into his hair and pulled him forward into a kiss. Casper tried to convey that he felt the same, pouring out everything into that kiss - all the desperation he had felt and show James that he wasn't alone in this that Casper was also scared that James was just going to have a reality check and get up and leave. Casper was too far into this to get out and it terrified him to think if James left him now.

When they let go James was smiling, his eyes bright and Casper smiled in return.

"You do realise I'm still I virgin though." Casper said with a quip of his eyebrow and James groaned.

"That is actually still up for debate all over the internet."

"Trust me," Casper said, making James' hair stick up at the back hilariously," if just using your hand made you any less of a virgin I would know."

James made a contemplating noise."True but maybe we should just make sure."

It was then Casper realised James had sneakily lowered his hands down to his ass and gave it a experimental squeeze and pulled it in to brush both boys' morning erections.

"No," Casper snapped unconvincingly."My mum and dad - ah... are in the n-next room."

"Then you'll have to keep it down," James whispered, leaving soft kisses on his shoulder as he rocked into Casper.

"Seriously James," Casper pushed at his chest," this is not the way I want my mum to find out."

James blinked at him owlishly."You're going to tell her? About us?"

Casper pursed his lips because shit."Well... yeah. In the future, I guess."

Way, way in the future. Like far away. It was one thing being a relationship but being in a relationship with a guy when you were a guy and your family think you've been straight your whole life and so called boyfriend has been sleeping under your roof, in your son's bed almost every week and vice versa for Casper and James'. His mum would have a fit. For sure, it wasn't going to be anytime soon. But the way James gave him that blinding smile, his hair slightly muzzed up around him and a fresh morning flush around his cheeks Casper didn't have the heart to tell him that he wasn't ready to take that step yet.

James just kissed his forehead and pulled him close once more and they lay there till Casper was in the in-between of sleep and being wide awake with James curled up next to him, breathing deeply with little snorts as he had fallen asleep again. Casper let himself be lulled by the little sleepy noises James made in his sleep to submerge into his own

They woke again as Casper's alarm at quarter to eight. James woke with a jolt, knocking his head onto Casper's chin and making both of them groan in pain which had them wide awake with the alarm blaring from Casper's nightstand. Clutching his chin, damaged by the bowling ball that was James' head, he stretched over James, making sure to elbow him in the rips as he was being no help to distinguish the alarm and turned it off by himself and then flopped back down in relief.

"I think I've got concussion," James hissed, still prodding at his head. Casper rolled his eyes at his dramatics.

"Hurry up and get out, drama queen. I need to shower."

"I can really feel the romance." James murmured but got up anyway and gathered his clothes and snatched his boxers on the radiator. Casper couldn't help but sneak a glance as James' moved about his room, bending down and giving a perfect view of his ass in Casper's boxer that were just a little too tight and then looking away before James saw even though he could feel James doing the same as he stretched into his wardrobe for his uniform.

James struggled into his clothes as Casper laid out his uniform and they made there way downstairs.

"I'll come in for you in half an hour," James warned softly and kissing him softly on the lips, lingering there so Casper could just lean in and perfectly meld their lips into one another before letting go reluctantly and opening the door and shut again before James could even think about staying. He'd see him soon enough and with that thought both boys rushed to get ready.

Casper mother appeared wearily out of his parents' bedroom as he came of the bathroom, readily clean and his black hair dripping.

"Morning, darling," she yawned, her black hair that Casper so obviously inherited like a birds nest above her and her body slumped in a sleepy manner and bags under her eyes that looked as if they weren't even open yet. Casper wondered where he got the whole "early riser" thing from - maybe his dad would if he didn't work every night.

"Did you and James have a good time yesterday?" She asked rubbing her eyes.

Casper froze and stared at her open mouthed and all blood drained from his face. She couldn't know, she wouldn't.

When Casper didn't answer Wendy Faye turned to her son in concern.

"Is something wrong, sweetie?" Sh asked, edging towards him."Did something happen between you and James in town yesterday?"

"oh." Casper exclaimed, relief running through him and embarrassment and part shame and guilt."Oh yeah - no. Town - town was great... no. Nothing happened...erm. nothing but the usual. I got a new shirt! Yeah." He gave out a strained, nervous laugh with heat building up at his neck.

His mother looked at him like her son had gone insane before smiling slightly and patting his head fondly before going downstairs. "As long as nothing happened. You boys have been so close lately, it'd be a shame if it did."

Casper waited till his mum had disappeared down the wooden stair case before he ran into his room and slumped at the door, his face burning and his eyes wide.

What was wrong with him? He had almost exposed it all too soon out of complete stupidity. For God's sake Casper. If he was going to keep it from his mother and other people he had to be a lot more careful. He realised that he and James had been somewhat reckless with this whole relationship and naive. They had to watch it. He didn't think he could cope if it all went to hell if everyone reacted badly. It was terrifying. His feelings for James were just as strong with those feelings that stopped him. They just needed a little more time and a little more time to talk about it and what way to approach their relationship going public - or just a bit further out. Casper wasn''t sure if he could deal with the abuse that he would get with the possibility of the relationship with his parents being strained at the same time, he'd crumble under the pressure. Plus, who was it their business if James and Casper were going out? No, that was one thing Casper was going to kick up a fuss about. Sure his parents, James's parents needed to be told sooner or later now that the two boys were serious, feelings and all but Casper felt like anybody else apart from that could fuck off. He didn't give a damn about them except if they took it into their business about his business. He didn't need that crap.

Still, now that James thought that Casper was close to breaking out with the truth and that just made things worse. If anything James would be more careless, more on a high from Casper blurting out something stupid as usual.

He sighed and out a hand through his wet hair before getting up and walking over to his uniform hanging over his desk chair.

He just had to be the one to make sure they were more careful. Although Casper had faced up to his feelings - more inwardly that out, in the lets tell James manner and everyone else than the sexual manner - that did not mean he was ready to go out with them. His few friends and James was enough right now, James especially.

He just hoped that he was enough for James too.

[A/N: Short chapter this time to appease those patenitly waiting. I have a really busy week this week as to finish all my course work for this friday before the easter break and then I'm away to Aviemore - with no internet connection - for a holiday and then exams start soooo update maybe a little irregular or not at allo until then. Sorry.]