Chapter Eighteen

When Casper woke that morning James didn’t even stir for a good hour, which Casper thanked God as he used that time to will down his morning wood and cursed the male anatomy because this was his life right now. Couldn’t he just have a day off this once? James actually was so dead to the world Casper had to keep checking that he was still alive has he waited, not that he minded that much – okay maybe not the first twenty minutes when his stomach was still asleep but seriously, who could still sleep when his stomach was doing Godzilla impressions? It was madness – because he got to lay there in total blissful happiness.

James had rolled over during the night so they were facing each other, their legs tangled and arms around each other’s waists. Casper couldn’t help but feel how easy this was, how right it felt. He took in James’ face, the way the slight morning sunlight caught his eyelashes making them almost gold and the small snuffles he made through his nose. His red hair was fading slightly at the top, a few brown roots emerging for his scalp. Casper then closed his eyes and just felt the warmth that their two bodies created and the sense of newly awaken intimacy that Casper was given with just that.

Of course, Casper ended up getting bored, and slightly anxious, so shook James awake after a while.

“James, c’mon,” Casper whined.”I can’t go anywhere when you’re all over me and still asleep, I need a piss.”

James groaned, letting him go and turning away, shoving his face into the pillow.

Casper huffed and got up to go to the bathroom. When he got back James was waiting on him, sleepy green eyes finding his blue ones as soon as he returned through the bed room door, he shimmed a little and pulled the covers over invitingly with a arched brow but a smile playing at his lips. Casper rolled his eyes but jumped in all the same causing a yelp out of James. Casper laughed into the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms around him.

“Ugh, cold hands,” James complained making Casper grinned and rake his hands all over his back because he was a little shit and James told him as much as he wriggled against him.

They lay there, breathing and James playing with the ends of his hair until he suddenly laughed,” your hair is really weird looking when it isn’t straight.”

“Shut up,” Casper complained knowing how bad his hair looked, and it was a wonder why he spent so much time in the morning straightening his stupid hair that defied gratify once wet. “Not everyone can have perfect hair all the time.” James had a perfect everything all the goddamn time.

“Well I think it’s cute,” James commented softly, nuzzling into it and then laughed again when Casper’s stomach roared. He started to shift,” c’mon we’ll go get breakfast.”

“Finally!” Casper exclaimed but couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed when they both untangled themselves from each other to go downstairs.

“Morning mum!” James called when there was a distinct clang of pans.

“Dear Lord what got you up this early, James,” Casper heard James’ mother from the kitchen as they came through the living room.

“This sadist right here,” James thumbed behind him to Casper but with a fond smile.

James’ mother poked her head out of the kitchen with a wide smile when she saw Casper standing awkwardly with wide eyes,” Hello, Casper dear. We were going to wake both of you on the couch when we came in late last night, a friend’s party you see, but you both looked so peaceful so we let you be, didn’t we, Harry?” She turned to her husband who was sitting on one of the breakfast bars. Casper heard a “hmm” and the rustle of a newspaper being turned as a reply.”Do you boys want breakfast? Bacon and eggs? Bacon sandwich? Just bacon ?

“Mum always buys too much bacon,” James explained to Casper.”Just two bacon sandwiches, thanks mum.” James looked at Casper for confirmation and he nodded silently.

Once Casper had calmed down a little later, his nerves subsided a bit and stopped feeling totally awkward about sleeping over it was better and he stayed quite a few times after that.

Sometimes Logan would stay over with them too but it seemed he was starting to avoid the nights whenever Casper was over, “if you think I’m going to sit and watch you two macking at each other all night you’ve got another thing coming!”

In public Casper and James were a little more self- conscious about how they looked to people. It wasn’t just two friends mucking about anymore. It was like once they looked at themselves as more than just that and into something their perspective changed. They feared recognition of their relationship to those that didn’t know them and they both didn’t blame each other if one flinched away from a brush of the hands or move away when they sat too close together. Not everyone was so open-minded and from seeing most of their friends getting shit for who they were or who they were with was enough to scare them because they weren’t prepared for this, they were not prepared to have feeling for another guy or be in a serious relationship with one so they hid it and they didn’t mind at all because in the privacy of their own homes they could touch and be as close to each other as they wished to be.

By the time November rolled around, the already dying leaves had turned and fell and were now mostly mush at the sides of the roads and the pavements and clogging up the street drains. The wind was cold and icy and wrapped people up in hats and scarf and jackets. Halloween had passed; the group had contemplated making a go of trick or treatin’ but ended up going to the Fishbowl special Halloween night. Casper and James had went as the original Mario Brothers duo and had met many others of themselves there, much to Daisy’s delight as she sat there in some sort of Victorian lady to match Hedgehog’s pirate outfit, they said they were going for an Elizabeth Swan – Will Turner thing but Casper really didn’t see it, they still looked good though. And now the world had suddenly turned to Christmas and Casper would hear the same Christmas song everywhere he went and it was driving him crazy.

“Honest to god!” Casper cried in the middle of Asda.” If I hear fucking George Michael one more time  I am going to cut someone open and feed their intestines at dinner!”

James looked over at him amused noticing a few horrified mother edging their children away from the stropping teen,” that seems like a very elaborate plan if you could actually cook.”

“I could learn!” Casper sniffed defensively,” seriously though it’s only November! What is the world coming to? I should still be hearing the occasional Thriller than freaking Wham!”

“The world should prioritise,” James nodded in agreement but smiling, “shocking.”

“It is shocking,” Casper pressed, not looking at James and abusing a potato,” shocking that everyone seems to have forgotten how to use a calendar.”

James snorted, taking the potato off of Casper and into a bag and then a few others and checking it off the list and moving onto the next item.“Tomatoes.”

Casper huffed dramatically and turned with the trolley to search for the stupid vegetable turned fruit.

“I can’t believe your mum forced us out shopping, “Casper muttered as he took a box of cherry tomatoes and looked at them with disdain.

“Well you’re practically at our house almost every other day,” James said, taking the box out of his hands and putting it back and reach for a few big  tomatoes,” you’ve got to earn your keep if you plan to continue to consume our food.”

Casper huffed, knowing he was at a loss and James went to move on once he’d placed a bag of tomatoes in the trolley.

“Hey are you not getting cherry tomatoes?”

James turned to look at Casper who was giving him an actual look of disbelief. “Yeah, I don’t like ‘em”

Casper suddenly looked like James had personally offended him.”So you just don’t get cherry tomatoes, god’s gift of tomatoes, that everyone else enjoys because you don’t like them?”

James stared at him blankly.”Yes.” and walked out of the vegetable aisle and to the dairy products.

“I’m putting in cherry tomatoes because you are a child!” Casper called and James heard the distinctive noise of something being put into the trolley. God, he actually hated those tomatoes.

They spent the rest of their time going around Asda with James regretting and cursing his mother for ever suggesting they went together as they bickered on almost everything.

“It’s chocolate chip cookies, James,” Casper said slowly as if it made it anymore significant.”You said I had to earn my keep and I want my keep to be cookies!”

“You are not getting cookies, Casper,” James said firmly.” We don’t need it and plus, Maureen is on a diet, she goes ape shit if there’s anything remotely compromising her way to a size 10.”

Casper pouted,” then she doesn’t need to eat them...”

“No, put it back. We are sticking to the list.”

“Ugh!” Casper cried and stomped back to the cookie shelf while James manned the trolley and looking for the specific brand of bread Maureen had insisted on.

They had been here for nearly an hour and James was torn between killing Casper and just kissing him to shut him up. Everything they had picked up that was on the list he had ignored and went for something else and moaned about it. James was so close to snapping.

“Hey James...” Casper said sweetly, dragging out his name. James took a deep breath to push his anger aside and turned to Casper to see what else he had found that he just needed to have but was surprised to have his hands just holding up his phone with a smirk playing at his lips and mischief in his eyes. “My mum is going out tonight with her friends and my dad has got a shift.”

James gulped, there it was.

All anger had subsided and James was struck with desire and the implication. Casper’s smirk turned into a mocking beam when James just stared and didn’t say anything, not that he needed to hear an answer he already knew that James wasn’t going to say no. It was always Casper that would wind him up like this and it would always be James doing the same for Casper and let go without any worries.

With the promise of things to come the two boys couldn’t get through the list any faster, it even seemed with the right motivation Casper would go straight for the goal and not be distracted. James filed that away for future use.

It was weird to want so much to hold someone, to just reach out your hand and take their hand when you know you couldn’t. James looked at Casper in the line at the checkout bouncing on his feet in excitement and anticipation, his eyes bright and happy. James just wanted to clasp his face between his hands and kiss him silly.

He text his mum at the checkout telling them they were coming out but as they both all but practically ran, mounds of plastic bags bashing about their sides they found Maureen parked right outside the store in her own sleek black car.

“Get in losers, we’re done shopping.” She snapped at them causing a few people coming in and out of the shop’s attention. James grumbled all the way to the car while Casper stared in awe.

“I love her.” He stated and James rolled his eyes and slammed the boot down when he put in his half of the shopping.

James refused to sit in the front and went for the back seat, shoving Casper in first before he got any ideas to sit up front with Maureen.

“Aw, I am all alone up here,” she fake pouted in the mirror.

“Just drive before we get into trouble for being in the pickup area for too long,” James snapped hoping she would just stay quiet but no such luck. James stared out of the window with his elbow resting below the window and his cupped around his chin and holding up his head and his other hand

“So Casper, tell me because James is the worst and won’t tell me anything,” she began while turning out of the parking lot, “you guys frick fracked yet?”

Casper choked on air and James’ elbow slipped and he banged his head on the car door.

“Fuck!” he cried clutching onto his head.

“Don’t fucking swear in my car, Jameson.” Maureen warned.

“That is not my fucking name!” James shouted back momentarily and then moaning into his hand. “Oh god, I think I’ve grown a second head.”

“Maybe you’ll actually grow a brain in that one,” Maureen smirked, deeply amused by herself while James whipped his head up with a heated glare that Maureen cackled at.

“Oh my god,” Casper laughed in disbelief at the two siblings and then burst out in hilarity as James lowered his hand to show a great red mark on his forehead which was quickly covered up again and James slapped his hand on it with a wince and a scowl that just made Casper laugh harder.

“Hey Casper want to see my screen saver?” Maureen asked and James pointedly looked out the window, he’d seen it and begged for her to delete it and even tried stole it one day but ended up locking the phone for over and hour and he never touched it again.

Maureen passed her phone over to Casper, eyes still on the road thankfully, Casper took one look at the screen and gasped and then laughed again.”Think you could send it to me later?”

James glared heatedly out the window, startling a child in a car next to them. He wanted to bang his head repeatedly if it wasn’t for the already throbbing pain.

James wasn’t talking to Casper. Or Maureen. Especially Maureen. And he made this point by ignoring them the whole way home, even when they all tromped into the house, message bags dragging at their heels, Casper especially giving it exaggerated hauls and great noises of mocked strain.

Casper knew James was in a bad mood and Casper was such a bad person for finding it so cute and amusing as James obviously ignored him, turning his head away to avoid looking at him in a childish manner and Casper was holding back grins.

As they both stood in the kitchen alone while Maureen went outside for the last of the bags, the only sound being the rustles of the plastic as they set their last down on the counter Casper turned to James, a big proud grin on his face. He saw James’ eyes widen and lingered for a second before he turned away, his cheeks slightly red.

Casper smiled wider, ignoring the bags that he had brought in all by himself, and they were really heavy and walked slowly up to James and wrapped his arms around his neck, tiptoeing until his lips were brushing his ear and he whispered as James went rigid: “I think we should leave Maureen with all this and escape through the back door.”

James actually shivered and Casper smirked as he shook with it and went back off his tiptoes, catching James’ eyes and kept them there as he unlatched his arms only to take his hand and led him to the kitchen door where the keys hung from the lock - they were always there.

 They rushed out of the door, unable to keep the breathy laughs and giggles from escaping as they scampered across the grass hand-in-hand, thanking god that their neighbour were all nosy bastards and went for partially short fences, even if Casper hand tripped on it and ended up sprawled on the grass, both the boys laughing and then shushing as it got too loud and got up on their feet again, giggling softly, pushing one another playfully.

As soon the boys got to Casper’s back door and Casper managed to scramble out the key from his pocket and hastily unlock the door, they were barely through the door when James grabbed him by his collar and smashed their lips together. Casper let out a surprised moan but leaned into it and the kitchen counter, snaking his hand up into the back of his hair and pushing him down further, as if they could get any closer.

Casper felt like there was nothing else in this world better than his lips on James’ and it was just the worst thing that they had to keep it in the confides of their own homes because Casper wanting to do it all the time until they were stuck like this – wait no ew, that sounded like a horror movie.

Casper let go of James lips and groaned into his collar bones at the thought but quickly kissed over them before James could ask what was wrong, no way in hell was he going to even mention what he was thinking right there.

“Fuck, Casper,” James gasped. And it was always going to be the best thing Casper would ever here, the sweet sighs and moans that James gave out because of him, reacting to Casper.

“Upstairs.” Casper muttered, kissing up James’ neck, his hands getting under his shirt and raking up his stomach while James grasped onto his hips. James didn’t verbally give him an answer but started moving towards the door.

They stopped, reluctantly, kissing to get up the stairs since the last disastrous time they had attempted to get up them, still lip-locked like in a movie sequence but ended in Casper tripping on one of the stairs and pushing James accidently until he bumped right down the stairs. He still couldn’t sit right. Of course Casper had laughed for days after it had happened.

Casper’s door swung open and slammed shut with the two boys crushing into one another again and dropped onto the bed.

~*~

After Casper was deliciously red in the face, panting slightly, his lips the same but wet and puffy, his hair a messy riot, his shirt off and his chest covered in hickeys that James found in all ways satisfying, and his blue eyes slightly clouded over but filled with fuzzy warmth and currently tracing James’ chest with his finger as he lay on top of him as he sat lazily up against the wall of Casper’s bed. Their trousers still in intact and James’ felt a very obvious boner on his thigh and his own jeans were getting sort of uncomfortable but they ignored them and just lay their getting their breath back.

James couldn’t say if he would ever get use to kissing Casper, the boy was unpredictable. Sometimes he would be wild, biting at his lips and yanking at his hair and growling, the next he would be shy and embarrassed giving his sweet, slow and hesitant kisses that James just melted into. Again he thought of why they hadn’t gotten together sooner, why they weren’t this close before now and why it took this long?

They were perfect for each other. And yeah, that was sappy and sort of sad in a way and totally gay – But, he could help it and he noted Casper lay on top of him, every curve and dent in his body fitting perfectly with his. Casper knew every touch that made him shiver, every move that made him weak and in turn James knew those about Casper.  He knew just how to push his buttons, make him mad and make him crumble in seconds, knew how to make him laugh and how to shut him up in the same breath. James knew everything but nothing about Casper and he hoped to have all the time in the world to not know nothing but everything about him.

He couldn’t he felt it right now but James was so close to being in love with Casper.

At this thought Casper turn his head up to meet his stare and beamed.

Yeah, so very close.

“Hey Cas,” he said, brushing his hair in his hand while Casper still continued to draw lines with his finger.

“Hmm?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to come to our gig this weekend...” James frowned and looked anywhere but Casper as he whipped his head round.

“You have a gig?” Casper grinned ecstatically, scrambling over him to get closer to his face and making James mutter and groan as he is elbowed repeatedly until he has a Casper right up in his face.

James leaned back, his eyes closed trying to playing it cool but huffed into smiled as he felt Casper await eagerly, his face just as lit up as before as he opened his eyes.

“Yeah,” James grinned.”It’s a small one, the money is sort of crap but a gig is a gig.”

Casper rolled his eyes.”I know that you’re eternally squealing like 12 years old girl at a Justin Bieber concert James.”

James frowned at the comparison but couldn’t deny it. This was a big step for his band. It felt like they had been practicing in Logan’s for so long and they had finally felt ready enough to take a chance at they got their first big break, or little break – whatever, James was on the moon about it and Logan was even worse.

Logan had shouted for at least an hour down the phone to James, with James shouting right back. Shouts of triumph and prospects to come.

“Does this make me a groupie?” Casper absentmindedly asked, his blue eyes looking of to the side in thought as he reached for James’ hands and playing with his fingertips with his own.”Or like your personal slut, or whatever?”

“Or whatever,” James repeated fondly and latched their hands together.

“Maybe Daisy and I can get t-shirts made,” Casper continued.”Tortured Paraside’s first merch batch.”James smiled.”Your band still sounds like a whiny emo band. And not in a good way.”

James groaned and moved so Casper rolled over with a squeak but James instantly grabbed onto his side to keep him from falling of the bed and pulled them closer so that they were on their sides, face to face. He stared into Casper’s eyes as he looked up to his,  the blue so clear despite the shadows their faces made and swimming with an emotion James couldn’t quite comprehend but it tugged at his heart strings all the same.

“Do you ever find it weird how much we didn’t like each other before all this,” James said before he could stop himself. Casper snorted.

“I hated you.” Casper ran his hand down from his shoulder and wriggling his fingers as he did so.

“Well, I would put it that far-“

“No, I did,” Casper insisted.”And you hated me too.”

“I never hated you Casper.” James said softly, Casper’s eyes widened.”I jus thought you were a really annoying, irritating little shit that I didn’t want to be around all that much, but I never hated you.”

Casper gave a short laugh and shoved at his shoulder a little so that they both move with it and James smiled.”You are such a dick. But seriously, never hated me? I feel like such a prick, I honestly had such a low opinion of you for so long. I have an excuse though; you were always trying to rile me up.”

James groaned at the memories throughout the years.”Maybe I was unconsciously reaching out to my attraction for you that i didn’t know I had.”

“Well your reaching out sucks.” Casper stated.

“Haven’t we already discussed this?”

“And they only reason we got out of this whole “unconscious attraction” was because of a stupid game and hormones laced with alcohol, doesn’t that bother you?”

“I wasn’t that drunk actually,” James said quickly. And it was true, Casper had been drinking that night and had always brought that up when they mentioned that night, not that they did so much, but James had hardly touched a thing, he was mostly dancing.

Casper’s breath hitched.”You what?”

James smiled sheepishly,” I wasn’t that drunk... And I was lying about not knowing about my attraction for you too. I did know. I knew for a while actually. I just didn’t want to acknowledge it. It was you, the annoying little prick that I had known my whole life and I was starting to think he looked cute? I was sorta scared and... basically freaking the fuck out. So at the party, I couldn’t really hold myself back, y’know? And I’m glad I didn’t because look where we are now, “James grinned at Casper.

Casper was completely frozen, his mouth a gape and his eyes wide. They didn’t say anything, James’ words playing over and over again in the silence of the room

” Y-y-you,” Casper spluttered after a while, his cheeks burning not unlike James’. Suddenly Casper gave out a high pitched whimper,” You can’t just say things like that!” And he surged his head upwards and his lips were on James’, desperate and conveying until they were out of breath and panting once again. “Fuck sake James, I don’t know whether you’re trying to make me feel bad or trying to turn me on but I can say you’re doing both pretty fucking well, you cunt.”

“Glad to be of service,” James smirked, knocking their foreheads lightly.

“If it means anything,” Casper mumbled to his chest,” I really, really like you now.” James closed his eyes and smiled.”Like a lot. If I were good poems I would right them all the time about you. And sonnets. Lots of ‘em. Mostly about your amazing ass.”

James shook into Casper with silent laughter and kissed his forehead.

All of a sudden Casper shifted his leg and pressed into James’ crotch making him give out a strangled moan as a jolt of pleasure shot through him.

“Oh shit,” Casper breathed, leaning back all of a sudden and falling off the bed with a “woah”, there was a loud thump followed by a cry of pain. James was too busy laughing into the bed covers, his noise pressed into the smell of Casper when he popped his head up and glared at James. “I could have been seriously hurt and you’re sitting there laughing.”

James laughed some more before he managed to speak,” I’m sorry, princess, are you hurt? Did you break a nail?”

“Shut the fuck up you absolute cocksucker,” Casper hissed.

“How relevant,” James muttered.

Casper pursed his lips, looking at James, his face half hidden in the bed covers, his smile teasing and his eyes shining and down across his bare chest and stomach, toned to perfection in Casper's opinion, the evidence of hard work and results of his training. And then down to the very obvious bulge in James’ jeans. Casper shifted uncomfortably, feeling his own trapped to the point it was almost painful.

“If- if you want I’ll...” Casper nodded to his jeans, his face heating up and avoiding James’ face but seriously.

James lifted his body from the bed until he was in a sitting position.”No,” he said simply but kindly. Casper’s face flickered with hurt.”Of course I want you too - Jesus Cas, I do. But not until we are a hundred percent sure, okay?”

Casper nodded, “Okay.” And James was right, he wasn't entirely ready, he wasn’t sure when he would ever be. He was terrified of taking that step. He’s never had any sexual interactions of any kind form another person and the way he imagined it before, it had always been a girl. He had built up himself up, prepared himself for some perfect girl of his dreams to have his first time with. He was confused with the whole male on male thing, not what went on with it but just the dynamics of it. Did James expect to be the dominant one? Did Casper want to be? He tried not to think about it much and when it came up he was too busy focusing on James doing things with his mouth in his that made him think of nothing else but James.

He couldn’t help but feel a little rejected though.

“I should get home.” James got up off the bed and over to his shirt that was flung across the bedroom earlier. Casper watched him, the back view just as good as the front.

“I hate that you’re the romantic one of this relationship,” Casper said as his shirt was, regrettably, pulled over his head and covered his back.”Like a feel I’m messing everything up and you’re saying all the right things and doing all the right things.”

James came over to the bed and crouched down beside him, putting his hand underneath his chin and lifting his head to look at him and with him gazing down on Casper he said, “I think you’re doing just fine.” He smiled and leaned in and pecked Casper on the mouth, just lingering so Casper could reciprocate and let go.

“You are not helping this case,” Casper gave a wry grin.

“I do try,” James shrugged nonchalantly and got back up onto his feet, putting a hand out for Casper who took it.  “I think it’s clear to say that I’m a selfish partner, you should find out sooner that later.”

Casper gave him an amused looked, “I always knew you were selfish. Should’ve known you’d take it into everything else.”

Casper didn’t let go of James’ hand and James didn’t make any move to let go either until they were at the front door.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?” James squeezed his hand, dropping it like it was a heavy loss.

“Yeah,” Casper grinned.”Tomorrow.”

I keep doing this thing where i go to write a build up to a certain scene in my head and then they end up somewhere else entirely. Goddammit.

This was actually ready last night but I looked and my mum had turned off the internet, so technically this was on time... for once. But it's here now, enjoy!

I've already thanked and mentioned this in my broadcast to followers but Gay Chicken has reached 1,000 mother fluffin' votes. THAT'S SO FREAKING AMAZING I AM SO THANKFULL OMG and only 2,000 reads away from 50,000 reads. This is insane and I am freaking jumping around my room everytime I look and see that these numbers have jumped up a bit everyday. It's awesome and I love all of you guys. Thanks for sticking around!

Prelim results came back this week, I did okay for the most of it but I need to up my game for the coming exams if I want A passes (and those fourteen driving lessons my dad promised to pay for if so), so updates may be a little slow BUT!!!! I am not going to what I did in the past, no. I will put aside time for writing GC and gosh darnit I am going finish this even if it kills me.

So thanks for the reads, the votes and the comments. You're awesome. 

Ciao~