5

─── • ─── 

ISABELLA

"Bell," Addy says as I push my coffee mug around, letting it skid across the table of Rosie's. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

I don't reply. Instead, I stare out the large windows beside our booth, trying to collect my thoughts. Ever since Jake's call, I have been miserable while avoiding the topic. Of course, I want to tell Addy, but I can't muster up the courage to tell her he's been cheating on me all because I wasn't rushing to have sex with him.

She sighs. "You tell me everything."

She's right, Bell, and talking about it might make you feel better, I remind myself, then draw in a deep breath. "He called me at the party. I'm not sure if he was at one himself, but I know for a fact he was drunk." I divulge everything that occurred, refraining from leaving out any details so I don't have to repeat myself. She listens intently, grabbing my hands to give them a tight squeeze.

"Oh my God, Bell." Her face falters. "I'm so sorry, and I wasn't even there for you."

I smile wearily. "It's okay. I might feel like utter shit, but I would feel worse if I had sex with him."

"You know what?" she says, her voice quieting. "I'm going to fucking fuck him the fuck up!"

I burst out laughing, and it feels incredibly nice. When our laughter dies down, and people in the café stop staring, she says. "But seriously, Bell, you deserve so much better."

I give her a quick thank you, then change the subject. "You didn't tell me how your night went, so spill it."

I see her fighting a smile, but she gives in, letting it spread across her face. "It was so good. His name is Jasper, but you already knew that. We talked twice around campus, and I never thought much of it, until the party." She tells me how their conversation started, and how she ended up leaving to go back to his place. "And get this, he wouldn't have sex with me."

My eyebrows rise. "Wow, how chivalrous."

"I know." She leans back in her seat. I'm extremely happy for her. At least something good came out of that dreadful night.

We sit in silence, absorbing all our newfound information. I watch the rain trickle onto the sidewalk, and it reminds me of my walk home from the party. That's when I realize I left out a key detail of the night that has nothing to do with Jake but everything to do with Miles. "I forgot to tell you who I ran into. Miles."

She sits up, intrigued. "Again? Jeez, one more time and I wouldn't call it a coincidence anymore. What did he want?"

"He saw me walking and offered a ride home. Did you know he lives in our apartment complex?"

Her eyes grow wide. "Seriously? How come we've never seen him?"

"I'm assuming he lives on a different floor, but it's strange we've never crossed paths in the elevator or something."

She takes a sip of her coffee. "He might take the stairs. We never take the stairs."

We both laugh at the thought. Maybe we should take the stairs more often.

Later that day, my microbiology professor dismisses us from class. Since I haven't started my research paper for psychology, I gather my books and head to the library. It will be an efficient way to distract myself, especially from any thoughts of Jake.

I sit in the corner of the large room, with my face glued to my computer screen and my headphones blasting music to eliminate any sort of noise. I tediously take notes on every article I read, compiling information for the paper.

I'm on a roll when a voice tears my attention from my work. "Look who's alive."

I tug my headphones from my ears, looking around frantically. Miles appears behind me, one hand on either side of my chair. He leans in until his face is beside mine, staring at my screen. His sweet scent invades my nose and I quickly close my computer, causing him to jump back.

"Are you stalking me or something?" I ask as he walks around the table, sitting across from me.

"No, but I can if you want me to."

"No, thanks." I redirect my attention back to my computer. But in my peripheral vision, I notice him inching closer until his face is invading my space, trying to look at what I'm doing. I swat it away like a bug.

"You're an overachiever." He points at my colorful notes, leaning back in his chair.

I scoff, he's relentless. His attention quickly diverts to a random girl with black hair walking past us. His eyes scan up and down her body. Ridiculous.

Without looking at him, I speak. "Why don't you go talk to her? I'm sure she fits all the requirements to be picked for your game."

He cocks his head in surprise by what came out of my mouth. "We don't do that anymore. I don't at least," he says as if it doesn't faze him.

"Yeah, okay, Miles."

"It was ruining my reputation."

Is he serious? I make a fake pouty face. "Poor you."

"You know it's strange." He pauses and stares, his brown eyes piercing into mine. "You used to fit the requirements, that's why I chose you." He bites his lip, causing a strange feeling to crackle inside me. "I'm not sure what happened."

I close my computer angrily, meeting him at eye level.

"Screw you."

"Sure, you can screw me." He throws his hands up in the air and looks down at his lap, laughing.

"Your game ruined me. Did you know that? But thankfully I was strong enough to realize that I'm not worthless." I shove my things into my bag. "You ruin girls' self-esteem for your pleasure and it's disgusting. No wonder nobody wants you." His smug grin falls stoic, stunned at what I'm saying.

I know I should not be flipping out on him, especially in public, but the fact he does not feel one ounce of remorse for what he's done drives me insane. There are other victims of his game that were impacted more than me, which is why I pity him.

"So that's why you've hated me all this time, because of the game," he says as if he has just realized.

Laughing at his obliviousness, I pick up my bag and toss it over my shoulder. I hear him shout wait but I'm already halfway across the room, out the door.

As I speed walk down the hall, passing people who don't notice me, the realization of what just occurred comes crashing down. I've needed to get that out for so long, I feel like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.

Later that day, Addy and I sit down on the couch in our apartment. I sigh loudly. "I need a therapist."

"Don't we all?" She groans.

"I just blew up on him!" I think back to how his face looked after I told him off. "All the hatred and emotions I've bottled up came rushing out."

"He deserved it, though. But I have something that will make you feel better."
"Ice cream?"

She shakes her head no, telling me she called one of her friends, Simone, who owns a restaurant nearby called The Wild Heart, and booked me a singing gig. She knows it's always been a dream of mine to perform.

"You're joking, right?"

"Nope." She grins. "She also said if they like you enough, you could get a part-time job performing." In seconds, I lunge and engulf her in my arms. She laughs as I thank her over and over.

But our moment is cut short when my phone rings, catching us both off guard. I reach over to the coffee table and pick it up. My mouth goes completely dry, and I swallow, as heat—which feels like water boiling—ignites in my chest.

"Who is it?" Addy asks.

"It's Jake."

Addy and I frantically sit up and stare at my ringing phone. My mind is racing at a speed unknown to mankind. I look at her, pleading with my eyes for an answer, advice, anything that could help me.

"Don't just let it ring, do something!" she shouts.

My thumb instinctively moves, and I decline it. I decline Jake's call.

The truth is, I can't fathom talking to him right now. I don't want to hear his excuses; I don't want to hear his voice and don't want to cry. I've done enough of that already.

I am not someone that holds grudges, aside from Miles; I have always been the bigger person and let things go. But this? I feel utterly broken and used. I don't know if I can forgive him, and if I end up doing so, it will definitely not be soon.

✤

On Friday, after a few days of prepping songs for my performance, Addy and I drive to The Wild Heart. My nerves are through the roof as I walk into the building. There are copious tables scattered about, fairy lights hanging along the trim of the ceiling, and pop art pictures covering the walls. And to the far right, there is a small stag with a microphone and stool. My stomach flips.

Suddenly, Addy's hand tears away from mine and she darts across the room to a beautiful girl with long black hair. I pick up my guitar case and walk over. Instantly Simone pulls me into her embrace, squeezing tightly. "Isabella, it's so nice to meet you."

"It's so nice to meet you too. Thank you so much for this opportunity."

"Thank you for doing this." She laughs in relief. "The past performances haven't been the best."

Addy grabs my shoulder as if she was prepping me for a boxing match. "Well, you have nothing to worry about, Bell is amazing."

Simone shows me to the stage, and while I get situated, my eyes continue peering toward the entrance where more and more people filter in. Addy smiles at me and gives a thumbs up from her table.

I decide to sing "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac. It has always been a favorite, thanks to my late dad. He used to play the guitar and sing to me before bed. I think he would be proud that I'm singing it now.

Simone joins me on stage, thanking everyone for coming, and introduces me. Then pats my shoulder and exits the stage, leaving me to fend for myself. I did not know the restaurant would be this crowded, and I try fighting my nerves.

So, I ready my guitar and sing.

The people who were eating have stopped by now, all their attention on me. Holy hell is it weird but holy hell does it feel good. I let go. Instead of worrying about what people are thinking or what my future holds, I live in this moment and sing my heart out for my dad.

When I'm finished, I pull my hand away from the vibrating strings and take a deep breath. Everyone is silent for a moment, then the place erupts into applause. I bite my lip out of sheer happiness and stand, bowing my head. I wasn't expecting such a positive response.

Simone walks up on the stage and snakes her arm around my shoulders.

"Give it up one more time for the amazing, Isabella Gallagher!" The applause continues and I shoot her a thankful smile.

After a hearty meal and car ride later, Addy and I burst into our apartment giggling. "I can't believe I have a job there now. I get to earn money singing!" We both jump on the couch. "And it's all because of you."

Just as she's about to reply, the ill-shriek of Jake's ringtone echoes in the depths of my purse. We glance at each other, knowing exactly who it is. I dig it out groaning and wonder how much longer I can ignore him.

'One Message'

"Open it," Addy says.

I oblige, reading aloud. "Please answer the phone, I really need to talk to you, Pumpkin," I mock, shutting my phone off, and throwing it on the armchair. He knows I have read his messages because I have my read receipts on. But I don't care.

"Are you going to talk to him?"

"Eventually, I will. But I'm going to put him through hell trying," I say, and excuse myself to my bedroom so I can call my mom and fill her in on what has been happening.

I lean against my window as the phone rings, watching students walking to and from apartment parties, laughing with their groups of friends.

"Hey, kiddo." She answers within the second ring.

"Hey, mama."

She asks how I've been, and I start with the good news, telling her all about school and The Wild Heart. We talk about how dad would be proud, and she wishes she was there to see my performance. After a couple of minutes of conversation full of laughter, I tell her I have bad news.

"What bad news?" Her voice is full of worry.

I tell her everything that happened with Jake, not leaving a single detail out. She doesn't interrupt until I tell her what Jake said to me over the phone.

"You know baby, there is a saying, a drunk man's words are his sober thoughts. And as much as you don't want to hear this, you're better off without him. I'm normally in favor of second chances, but he crossed the line. Cheating is cheating, and even if you forgive him, he will mess up again. Maybe not to this extent, but he will."

She is right.

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

INSTAGRAM & TWITTER: annasteffeyy

vote • comment • follow

Thanks for reading ♡

╚═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╝