17

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ISABELLA

It's been two days since the parking lot conversation with Miles. I haven't seen him since. He has answered none of my texts or calls and every time I try going to his apartment, he doesn't answer the door. I'm trying to fix the situation, but I don't think he wants to make this work.

I just keep asking myself, What did I do wrong?

He says he did this for my well-being, but how does leaving help? Something must've happened for him to act this way because he was pretty smitten with me the day before. Addy asked Jasper to see if he had any clue why he's having a meltdown, but Jasper doesn't even know because Miles won't see his best friend.

I will figure out everything eventually, whether he likes it.

I'm still hurting. Just when I admit to myself that I have feelings for Miles is when he leaves me. I swear, the world purposely waits until you're happy and comfortable to rip the ground right out from underneath you, not giving you any warning to prepare for the fall. So, you just plummet helplessly, back to the sorrow and misery.

"You still up for going to Jasper's tonight?" Addy shouts through my bedroom door.

"Yep, I'll be done with work around eight-thirty, so that should work."

I hear her cheer from behind the door and it makes me laugh.

Thankfully, performing before Jasper's took my mind off of Miles for a little while. That was until I walked outside of the building and looked into the parking lot. That's when the entire night replayed over in my head.

"Isabella," Lucas whispers, gently tugging on my shoulder. I remove my hands from my wet eyes and fall into his embrace. It startles him for a second, but then he wraps his arms around me and holds me. I don't know what to do, Miles just walked away without a rhyme or reason.

Lucas says nothing else. He just pulls me away from his chest and begins walking us down the sidewalk again.

After a lot of walking, we finally reach my apartment complex. I sniffle my nose and dig my keys out of my purse. Lucas stands there watching aimlessly as silent tears leak out of my eyes.

"Thank you, Lucas. I'm sorry you had to see all of that," I mutter before going inside.

"Don't worry about that, I'm just concerned for you... Will you be alright?"

I force a smile onto my face. "In time."

Lucas has been overwhelmingly kind to me these past couple of days. He reaches out to me, asking if I'm alright each day, but also keeps a respectable distance because he knows I still have feelings for Miles.

I wish I didn't.

"Okay, put this on, then you'll be done," Addy demands, handing me a dark red matte lipstick, which is my favorite.

I apply it graciously and when I'm done, I look at myself in the mirror. My hair is pulled up into a slicked-back ponytail and my skinny jeans look good on me for once. For a girl who has just gotten her heart torn to shreds for the second time this month, I look good.

"The boys are going to jizz their pants when they see you." Addy grins. I whirl my head around and gape at her, letting out a boisterous laugh at her interesting comment.

"That's absolutely disgusting."

She walks up beside me, running her hands over her green blouse to straighten it out. "Bell," she says with concern as she stares at us in the mirror.

"What?"

"We look like Christmas," she acknowledges, and we both burst out laughing.

When we arrive at the party, Addy squeals. "Baby!" Throwing her arms around Jasper and smashing her lips against his. I smile and look away to let them have their moment.

When Addy was disappointed about her parents, he brought her flowers and her favorite type of dark chocolate with a card that said, "You will always have me."

I walk over to the drinks and pour myself some mixture that I know will most likely burn, but I couldn't care less about the pain right now. I bring it up to my lips and start drinking it like it is water.

"Slow down there, Isabella." A hand reaches out and pulls the cup away. I angrily look up but instantly calm down when I see Lucas with a big grin plastered on his face.

"You little shit, I was drinking that!" I shout.

He drops the cup into the trash. "Yeah, well, I'm not letting you drink your feelings away."

"What a waste!" I swat his arm and his hand shoots up, grabbing the spot of impact, pretending that it hurts. I roll my eyes at his exaggeration and we both laugh. A moment passes and we've both stopped laughing.

"How are you?" he breathes; his voice is gentle.

"Eh," I shrug my shoulders, "I'm fine, it's not the end of the world."

People push past us, stumbling with girls down some unknown hallway. "He will come to his senses, I mean, who would be so stupid to give someone like you up?"

My lips curl up and I feel the heat creep up my neck into my cheeks. "What did I say about flirting with me, Humphrey?"

"I should keep doing it because I'm extremely hot and you love me."

"Yeah, no, that is definitely not what I told you," I assert.

"I know." He snorts, grabbing my hands. "Come on, let's dance."

I shake my head as he tugs me to where people are huddled, grinding on each other. "I don't want to... People are going to think I'm getting around. I went from Jake to Miles, and now to you."

"We're not a thing, I'm a friend that's trying to get your mind off of Cunningham." He lifts my arms up and places them around his neck, then he snakes his arm around my waist. "If anyone calls you a slut, I'll hit them."

"Now dance," he demands. We face each other and sway back and forth to the beat of the music. It feels good.

MILES

I amble through the doorway of Jasper's party. I promised him on Monday that I'd come, not knowing all the things that would transpire during the week. But I have to keep my promise, so that's why I'm here.

"Look who showed up." Jasper smacks my back. "I'm surprised you came."

"I'm surprised too." Suddenly, I see that all too familiar dirty blond-headed girl come bouncing over to him with drinks in her hands. If she's here, then that means...

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Addison questions, stopping in her tracks, and starts scowling at me like I'm some murderer on death row. All the radiant energy she had disappears into thin air like it was never there. Anger takes over.

"Because I can," I state. Jasper shoots me a warning look.

She takes a step closer and points at me. "Listen, buddy, you don't get to fucking talk to me like that after what you did."

I sigh. "I did it because—"

"You did it because you're selfish, you asshole." She scoffs, cutting me off. "For your own good, don't bother her tonight, she's having fun."

I scope the area to see if I can find her, but she is nowhere to be found; she must be in a different room. I get up and walk over to the living room where people are dancing.

I promised myself I'd stay away from her if I saw her, but I can't help it. I'm a fuck-up, an asshole who doesn't know how to handle anything serious. She doesn't even know half the stuff I used to say about her. I have treated her so poorly, but she still thinks I'm some perfect guy.

I'm disgusting. Why would she have feelings for someone who doesn't treat girls with the respect they deserve? Why would she want someone who has slept around? Why would she want someone who deemed her weak, then embarrassed her in front of a good amount of people?

There are so many reasons she shouldn't be with me. So many reasons for me to stay away to protect her heart, but I can't. I need to see her, and I know it's selfish, but I'm addicted.

"Miles!" a voice shouts, causing my heart to stop.

I turn around, oh.

"Hey, how are you?" Nicole says.

"Hey, Nicole, I'm good, how are you?" I question, still discretely looking around for Bell. Nicole is some girl I had a one-night stand with; she's nice and all but can't seem to comprehend the meaning of one night. She talks to me every chance she gets and is always way too hands-on, which I don't like.

Sometimes guys don't want to be touched without consent either.

"Pretty good." She blushes. "So, do you want to dance or something?" I feel her hand caressing my arm.

I smile apologetically and step back. "I'm looking for someone, I'm sorry." Her face falters and before she can say anything else, I walk away.

"That someone doesn't want to be found, man."

I clench my teeth together angrily; I know that voice.

"And is that any of your business?" I snap, staring Lucas Humphrey right in the eye.

He sneers, shaking his head. "Just leave her alone, you ruined it for yourself, Miles, just like you always do."

I step forward so I'm in his personal space. "Still at it, huh? Same tactics as high school. You wait until the girls are weak and vulnerable to manipulate them into thinking you're some great guy, then you get in their pants."

He purses his lips. "Not sure what you're talking about there, Miles. If I can recall, Isabella has been the one coming to me for comfort." I clench my fists as he chuckles. "You should've seen her dancing on me a minute ago."

That's it. I raise my fist, ready to pound this fucker's head in.

"Miles?" a gentle but concerned voice whispers. It's her.

My eyes dart to Bell, who is staring at me wide-eyed. I immediately drop my fist and my heart pounds against my chest. Her eyes are full of sadness only I can see, and her lip is pulled between her teeth, most likely to stop it from quivering.

I fucked up.

"Bell," I breathe, pushing past Lucas but stopping when I'm a couple of steps away from her. "What are you doing here?" There are people staring now, watching us with intent, but I don't care.

"Getting over you," she says.

I inhale sharply, staring aimlessly. "I, I—"

"You-you what, Miles?" she mocks back, folding her arms over her chest.

I sigh. "Can we go somewhere more private?"

"Oh, so now you want to talk?" She laughs.

"Please," I beg.

Her brown eyes glance up at Lucas, then back to me. "Ten minutes."

It takes all my strength not to smile. I reach out. She hesitates but then slides her small soft hand into mine, instantly sending warmth through my body. I gently tug her through the crowd that has formed, and she unknowingly squeezes my hand for comfort.

We make a turn down the hall. There aren't many people, which I'm thankful for because I don't want them to see where we're going.

Not long after, we're up the stairs walking out onto Jasper's deck. Right away, she walks to the complete other side, placing her arms on the railing and resting her head in her cupped hands.

I stay silent and stand there staring at her. What was I thinking?

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QOTD: Do you think Bell is going to forgive Miles? Do you think she should?

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