4
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ISABELLA
My stomach drops as if I went down the world's steepest roller coaster. I can't breathe, and everything around me seems to get louder. The music, the talking, the people. I drag the phone away from my ear to double-check that this is my perfect boyfriend, and to my luck, Jake is plastered across the screen.
Eventually, I get the courage to speak. "What?"
"I've been waiting to say that." He slurs his words.
"Are you drunk?"
"I'm tired of waiting around." He avoids my question, but I already know the answer. "We've been dating for how long and you won't let me have sex with you. You're a tease, that's what you are."
I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. I can't think. My mind is running in circles. He has never talked to me like this before.
"Don't worry," he breaks the silence, "I've had some help."
His words feel like someone took a match to my skin, lighting me on fire. Tears spring to my eyes when I realize what he's insinuating, and I feel even sicker than before—if that's possible.
A lump in my throat forms and grows bigger by the second. I don't know how long I stand there with the phone to my ear, listening to him and other girls laughing.
With tears in my eyes, I pull the phone away and end the call. I stare at his contact, which I'm tempted to delete. My feet move toward my apartment, down the sidewalk into the dark street.
I don't know if it's my state of shock, but the tears that were scratching at the back of my eyes disappeared. The lump in my throat has subsided, and the guttural pain in my stomach is gone. I feel utterly emotionless.
I had a pit in my stomach, but I never thought it was warning me I was dating a cheater.
I let my head hang.
The GPS on my phone tells me I have ten minutes left until I arrive at my destination, even though it feels like I've been walking for an hour. Everything is in slow motion: the leaves blowing, the cars driving past, and my pace.
As if I thought the night couldn't get any worse, it somehow manages to. The clouds crack open, pouring chilly rain upon me. I draw my crossbody closer to my chest, and duck my head, hoping it will shield me from the crying sky.
While I drag myself down the sidewalk, a car slowly approaches. Out of fear, I walk faster, which ultimately causes the car to gain speed. It comes to a halt and the driver winds their window down to catch my attention.
"Hey!" a familiar voice shouts. I turn my body, squinting my eyes, trying to see who it is.
"Do you need a ride, Darlin'?" Miles yells from the window. You've got to be kidding me. Assuming this is another one of his games, I walk fast, not wanting to be part of it.
His car moves at my pace. "Hello? Do you need a ride?"
"Please leave me alone, Miles," I snap, not wanting or needing his help.
"It's raining out."
"I'm aware," I say.
"Come on, Darlin', you don't want to miss a chance to be in the presence of me."
I roll my eyes at his obnoxiousness. "You just graced me with it, now you can leave."
"You know," he says, "we live in the same apartment complex, so it's not like your place is out of the way."
What? If he lives in the same complex, how is it I never noticed him? I rummage through my memory, trying to remember seeing him around, but I have no luck. Either he is messing with me or we're on different floors.
"Did daddy not buy you a house?" I sneer, trying to act like I'm not interested in a warm, dry car ride.
I hear him sigh. "No, daddy didn't. Now stop acting like a brat and get in."
I stop walking and face him. He slams on the car breaks. "You know what? I have had a God-awful night, and I am tired of you and your man-whore friends treating me like absolute shit. So please," I pause, "leave me the hell alone."
He doesn't respond. Instead, he winds up his window and drives away. I exhale, blowing out the nerves that built up in me. Finally, burning hot tears stream down my cheeks.
I'm not sure how long it takes, but I finally arrive at my apartment drenched in rain and tears. My unsteady hands insert the key into our door and I wearily walk inside, dripping water all over the floor. I peel my shoes off and walk to my room to change out of this sopping wet dress.
"Don't worry, I've had some help taking care of my needs since you won't." Jake's drunken words replay in my head like a broken record. He admitted he cheated.
My uneasy feelings were right, and I ignored them.
While I was staying loyal and not getting close to any other guys, he was out screwing other girls. All because I want to wait to have sex. I'm not waiting because I plan to stay abstinent until marriage, I just never felt connected enough to someone to want it—and that should've been a sign for my relationship with Jake.
He never once tried forcing me to do anything; he never begged or whined. He was nothing but respectful towards my decision. So, was it all just a lie? He must've been fine with it because he was still getting into other girls' pants. I was so oblivious to think he was such a perfect guy.
And now that my eyes are open, he is far from perfect.
I take a long, hot shower, letting the water cleanse me. I thought it would help take my mind off of things, but sadly it does the complete opposite. Once I'm done, I put on my pajamas, climb under my nice and cool sheets, and pick up my phone.
One unread message
Addy: I'm still alive don't worry, I'll be home in the morning. xo
I sigh with relief. Thank goodness she's okay; that makes one of us. I despise when she runs off because I have seen enough movies and newscasts to know too many bad things could happen. But she is a smart girl, and I know she has good instincts.
I send a quick text back, not mentioning what happened. I want her to enjoy herself, and if I tell her, she will come rushing home to me, and although I'm thankful for that, right now I need to be left alone.
And then finally it happens.
I lie in my room and cry.
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