Ricky's POV

I jerked my head in the direction of the door, my heart jumping from the sudden noise that shattered the peaceful silence I've come to love. Looking back down at my lap as I let myself drown in my troubled emotions for the five hundredth time replaying my doubts about whether or not a painless recovery was even possible. I Faced the door again as I came to terms with the fact that further contemplation of this would have to wait. Hearing  footsteps come to a halt right from the other side of the door, my mind began to spin causing me to feel faint. Any time now, I was expecting the doctor or a nurse to come in and update me on my current state. Muffled voices spoke from outside the room but I couldn't fully make out what they were saying. But after a minute or so of listening to the unclear conversation, two gentle knocks sounded then paused fallowing into silence.

"Yes?" I said with a slight shake in my tone, not entirely sure if I'd rather be alone or with whoever was on the other side.

When I saw his face, I shouted out with joy that he was here but all it probably sounded like to him was a faint hollar with a raspy touch. "Chris!"

He dashed over to come and give me a hug but I shielded myself with my hands up in front of me. In a terrified manner similar to when Rem would arroch me, I turned my upper half away preventing him from holding me. But this was not out of any anger or hostility towards Chris but in fear that he might shift and or undo any equipment that was still acting as my lifeline in a way. I sorta thought of myself as still prone to injury despite that fact that I've been here for more than a week since I was put under anesthesia for emergency surgery. Thinking that Chris could do any collateral damage, I understood as totally irrational but I really couldn't help myself from feeling this way right now. My paranoia was again, getting the best of me.

He stepped back a little with an slightly offended look on his face but I reassured him with smile as I lowered my arms to my sides, telling him that it wasn't anything between us but rather all of the gadgets. He nodded understandably and pulled over a chair for him while bringing one over for Ash. When they sat down, Chris and I just stared at eachother for a moment in a bit of an awkward silence.

I followed his gaze with mine as he panned his sight up and down my body, looking me over. "You're looking much better. How are you feeling?" His voice saturated in concern for my well being but I just sighed with a sense of sadness. Giving myself a nice long moment to come up with an answer that would suffice but I wasn't all too sure about what he really wanted to hear from me. Not being able to tell if he wanted an honest answer. If he did, I'd say that I was submerged in back breaking guilt and remorse. But on the contrary, I would hate to lie and say that I was doing fine.

As I opened my mouth to speak when I managed to come up with something, I still couldn't will myself to let any words escape past my lips. I then stared down at the IV in my right arm as I concentrated on the tingling itch from the tape holding it in place but resisting the solution to the very itch was oh so difficult.

Knowing that the sensation and urge would get worse the more I focused on it, I brought myself back to look at Chris. Shifting my sight to Ash and then again at Chris, I finally gave them a response. "I am doing okay I guess but I really don't know. I am still a bit traumatized and..." I stopped myself from saying to much but them hearing me as a spoke with hesitation to go on just raised their interest and curiosity. "I am... I... I just have a lot on my mind lately."  I said with a great amount of uncertainty in my voice as my mind became a mess when I tried to explain myself.

Chris just stared at me with a disappointed yet though provoked expression as it appeared his was choosing his next words very delicately. But I could sense that there was something more he needed to get off of his chest as I saw a look of desperation in his coffee hued eyes.