Ricky's POV (Dream)

Over and Over again, utterly appalled at the sight of  myself impaling Rem with the jagged blades. Blood was all over the place but I didn't care, even if any of it covered my face and chest. It was now my war paint and now I'd wear it with pride like a metal for slaying the beast.

But now, I am just a ghost in the room. A witness to this gruesome murder with my sinister laughs harmonizing with Rem's screams as he'd tirelessly pleaded for my mercy.

"Please, forgiveness, I beg of you! Spare me!" His voice sincerely apologetic but I was blinded by my overwhelming hate for him. I just continued on without a sliver of hesitation.

Now that I've seen the terror and fear from an outsider's perspective, I ask myself, why can't I stop? Trying to reach myself as I called out, desperate to stop this, my efforts were ignored. Until I have my closure, I refuse to back away and I didn't care if he's completely decapitated by the end of it. 

One, two, a maximum of three would have been plenty to have finished him off. As I saw myself straddled over him, with Rem's essence dripping from my hands, I stared into my gaze. I couldn't see that man I used to know and was now overpowered by an array of uncontrollable emotions. I saw only hostility as I gave into my rage, becoming what I despised.

I am the crow trapped in an iron cage, neglected and abused. At last it's my turn to end this, once and for all. I've fallen too many times before, been a failure to those I care about. Taking my final stand, I'll peck out the master's eyes until he realises the key. I'll claim back what was wrongfully stolen from me. My hope, my freedom and my will to live. Now I can fly free but this sinful act by my means will haunt me for eternity.

Over and Over, I plunged the pieces through Rem's flesh but now I am a loss for morals. I've fallen once again. Who have I become? 

Rick's POV (Present time)

"No!" I yelled out as I awoke from the dream.

Gasping for air as my eyes shot open, I began to panic as I laid on Chris's lap. My hand on my chest I could feel my heart pounding like a drum set.

"Ricky! Calm down. Take it easy." I heard Chris speak to me as I was trying to reclaim my mind.

He placed his hand on my forehead to try get me to lay still but I couldn't bring myself to relax. My head was spinning and I was still seeing the visions before me. Every time I closed my eyes to rest or think, I saw myself over Rem's body, shirtless and painted in red. It was the same broken record being played on repeat. Scratched and damaged, refusing to move on past the scene and I don't know how to make it stop.

I sat up quickly, resiting Chris's soothing touch and scooted myself over to the seat near the far window. I just looked out at the endless landscape as I began to weep softly into my hands. No matter how hard I tried to dismiss or overlook what I did, I still wasn't able to ban these wretched memories from my mind.

A few moments passed before I felt a hand rest on my shoulder but I didn't want to face him. I just wanted to disappear from existence. An overwhelming desire to be submerged into an impossible bliss and escape this reality for a while. But no matter how hard I wished, it would never come true. I lowered my head in despair trying to hide my tears but who was I kidding?

"Ricky. I am sorry but you have to move on from this right now." Chris spoke with a sweet and tranquil tone. "Once you're in a better physical state, we can work on heal what haunting you."

I remained silent, wanting to avoid talking about this but I knew that I'd have to at one point or another. I don't even know if I could handle retelling the stories, It hurt all too much and these wounds were still raw, sending me through agony with a single twitch. Chris pulled me back to lay my head down on his lap again and this time I didn't resist as I attempted to compose myself. I just stared up at the roof of the car, blank and forcing myself to go numb. Fighting the urge to break down again, I just took slow, deep breaths as Chris played with my hair. Completely zoning out into space, my eyes just stayed open as I slipped into nothingness, letting the darkness take me.