A/N: I'm starting with family thing MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
CHAPTER
He was accustomed to living in luxury, but now he had no choice.
He's starting to feel the pain all over again.
The sense of loss, the sense of hurt, the sense of sadness.
The happiness that was once present has faded. He can feel the sensation within himself fading. Everything... Slowly... slowly... fading away from all existence.
He's going insane.
Nobody can hear. Nobody cared.
Tell them... But no one listened.
Tell them that ge's going to be fine
'Save me.'
He was left with nothing but to beg.
'I want to be saved.'
Calling for someone to save him.
'Rescue me from this hell.'
Someone please don't let him suffer any longer.
Just...get him out of here.
Someone... Hear my cries,
Anyone... Hear my anguish.
He doesn't want to be in pain any longer.
*This.*
Deruth awakens. He focused his attention on the small figures on the bed. That was an extremely vivid dream. Two people, both standing in the battlefield, both looking at the distance with resignation.
He stood up and tucked them carefully under the blanket.
His small movements prompted both twins to move. They both reached out to each other while sleeping. Their foreheads were lightly touching, their hands were holding each other, and their feet were tangled in a cuddle.
He smiled and looked at them lovingly. All of his inhibitions vanished.
It makes no difference who they are now.
For as long as they remain by his side.
For as long as they keep smiling.
It didn't matter because he couldn't live without them any longer.
Sometimes you have to hurt to know, fall to grow, and lose to gain, because the most important lessons in life are learned through pain.
A broken heart... That's what he got in return for everything he gave up. He had given his all, and yet he was betrayed and stomped on the ground. He'd given so much of himself away; they'd only taken advantage of his heart and played with his emotions.
But all of that, didn't matter anymore.
He didn't want to lose this precious memory. He just wanted to get away from his past so he wouldn't see the useless version of him anymore. He wanted to cry, but there were no more tears in him.
His sad, lonely face.
The look on these children's faces when he asked them that question.
He realized what drove him to want something he never wanted to have while lost in the abyss of his own darkness.
He ignored the hurtful words.
The agonizing reality of his optimism.
The world he ended couldn't protect him, but it kept him safe.
"Deruth..."
His vision was filled with red hair. Jour entered the room through the window. As he continued to observe his children, she looked at him with sadness.
The woman who hurt him the most appeared just when he needed someone to lean on. The tears he'd been holding back finally came out.
The only time he ever saw her run was when she ran to him now. She took him in her arms and held his head on her chest.
Her embrace provided him with warmth he had never felt before. He didn't listen to her when he should have. Nonetheless, she lifted his face, wiping all the tears from his eyes, and her voice echoed in his ears with such forgiveness.
He broke her heart for the nth time the day he left. Leave her alone in her solitary world. He wondered if things could still be the same, so he treated her the same, pretended to be a spoiled brat, and shoved her hand away. Then one night, he simply remembered her feelings for him. He couldn't look her in the eyes because she was so unconditional, pure, and true.
He had the audacity to do the same with his children.
He was so ashamed, all alone and so far away, yet, she was there, waiting and waiting for this day. They were there, and yet, he decided to make it complicated once again.
The bond he created with them—no one can tear it apart.
The brands of worthless thoughts resting in mirthlessness. The countenance of the simply ignored bent like nails. They'll suffer the consequences of their own desires if they don't have any breath or vapor.
They'll be forgotten, blown away in a hollow like loose scraps on a bloodstained ground, just like old, rotten fruit.
He didn't want to experience this hopelessness and weakness any longer.
He should have done better than questioning their existence.
He'll no longer deny them because it's the same as denying his existence.
[*****]
Cale awoke early the next morning. He fixed his gaze on his brother, who was sleeping soundly in front of him. He cupped his palm around his cheek. Then Rok took his hand in his and pressed it against his cheeks.
"Fine?"
"How about you?"
They exchanged glances. The agonizing pain they've previously experienced appears to be a nightmare.
"Our souls are bound together."
"I didn't think it would be."
Cale didn't smile; instead, he looked at his brother, who was relieved to see him.
"I won't do it again," Rok said quietly, "but even if it's risky, I'll stick with you like glue."
Cale chuckled lightly, "Yes. Let's do that. It's better than feeling that loneliness again."
They've gone back to the beginning. They're in a situation where they can't rely on anyone but themselves.
They both got out of bed. They sat on the edge of the bed, looking for their slippers, as the door to the room opened. Deruth stood there with wide eyes. As he shook his head, tears streamed down his cheeks. He dashed up to them and embraced them as if there was no tomorrow.
He's supposed to ignore them, question their existence, but Deruth is holding them tightly right now.
They can feel him peppering their heads with soft kisses. They can feel his heartbeat beating wildly.
"Please forgive me," Deruth begged. "Please forgive me..."
In all honesty, they both knew from the start that this man would discard them. They were aware that he would eventually question their existence and pushed them away.
Yet.
This warm embrace shattered all of their thoughts.
It's as if he can't live without them anymore.
"Rok... Cale... forgive me... I'm so sorry..."
They were preparing themselves from the beginning so that when the time came, they could let go of this man. They recalled the day this man handed them that decorative knife and asked them to kill him if they wanted to leave.
"We don't have to leave?" Cale sobbed.
Rok experienced the same sadness that Cale is experiencing right now.
He may know what it's like to be a father because Deruth was his first.
The first father he ever had in his life.
"Even... if... we're... different... Is it okay to stay?"
They could feel Deruth's arm tightening even more.
"It doesn't matter anymore," Deruth said, holding their heads close to his chest, "I don't care about anything anymore, just stay by my side."
He sounded really desperate and in despair.
"I don't want to feel that ever again."
He knows. He was also scared. Crying in the pain of silence. He's afraid.
He's saying that it doesn't matter anymore.
Their eyes were welling up with tears.
They put their hands forward, hoping to sense something ahead.
Rok and Cale finally burst into tears, clutching their father's clothes.
Deruth loves them unconditionally, even if he hasn't been by their side for years. His heart is overflowing with love, and there simply isn't any more room.
If he had to do it all over. He'd choose them again and protect them with all he got.
He said "Son."
Son, he called them.
"Rok... Cale... Forgive me... Forgive me... Please forgive me."
He patted their heads and embraced them tightly, not intending to let go. They melted at the warmth and comforting scent of his broad, strong arms.
Cale, was unable to hold this man after his mother's death.
Rok had no one to lean on but the gentle breeze of the wind.
They resigned themselves to this man and allowed their weaker selves to take control.
This is the first time, they've allowed their cowardly and meek selves to bask in the warmth of a father's protection.
TBC