It's been three years since Cale and Rok came to Henituse County.

It's been three years since Rok started his training under Ron and Cale, and he's been writing everything that transpired in the future for twenty to forty years now.

That's not the only thing that happened either.

Anyone would be on their knees when there are two cute identical twins welcoming them as butlers do. Especially, if the twins are wearing matching cute pink rabbit-eared parkas in the middle of autumn.

"How cute!"

How could it not be cute? The maids, who were too bored with old and young men, finally had kids to cutely dress up! Rok and Cale had always been dressed by the maids to the point that even the young Vicross was pulled into their projects including the toddler Bassen. So there are four cuties.

And who is Deruth Henituse to deny that cuteness?

"Let me record it!" the count that had record saving device giggled.

Well, it's been three years now, Cale and Rok are now eight years old, Vicross is thirteen, and Good Bassen is five.

Vicross looks too mature now, so the maids are doing their best to make the stern guy into a cool good-looking youngster. There are rumors that Vicross is the ideal husband material considering how he babysits the three kids, and the guy knows how to cook.

Who the hell wouldn't want such a hottie? He's got the package!

Anyway,

There are the redheaded twins that followed after Vicross's charms.

Although their charms are somewhat dangerous, it's bearable and cute.

People didn't mind those death flags because doing so would mean they were going to get scammed. Everyone remembered how Rok was forbidden by the county-designated doctor not to eat too many sweets due to cavities a year ago. The whole county went ahead and refrained from giving him sweets, but those cute puppy eyes are dangerous! Anyone's heart would melt in an instant and give in! In the end, Rok had his fill of cookies and chocolates.

Cale on the other hand, hah – how should they put it? The child is an alcoholic! Who goes around snooping and smuggling bottles of liquor out of the kitchen to their room?! No one! Kids should drink milk, but this kid drinks liquor as a substitute for milk! They had to go and lock the cellar with forty locks, but how come this kid was able to still smuggle bottles outside?! They even had the magician fortify the cellar with magic but the younger redhead was able to get past it!

Well.

They're so cute that they're able to scam the whole county, and the whole county itself doesn't even realize they're getting scammed!

"I need to get some helpers in Harris Village." the count suddenly said.

The twins looked at him and, with stars in their eyes, they looked at the count, begging for him to take them with him.

"Alright, it's a bit chilly, so ask for a thicker coat."

"Alright!"

Deruth sighed and looked at Violan. The countess was cheering him on and gave him some good things to cater to the twin's needs. He took several young servants and a few workers.

"Count..." Rok, the older twin, tugged on his sleeves and pointed outside the carriage.

It was heavily raining with zero visibility. Deruth patted his head and made the twins sit on the vacant seat on both his sides. It was cold. So Deruth spread his arms around their shoulders while holding the blanket to keep them warm.

The journey to Harris Village was uneventful. Deruth's heart almost melted when he watched the redheads asleep while leaning on him. He tightened his embrace around them while tracing comforting circles on their backs. He cupped Cale's head and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. He felt those tiny arms around his waist and the soft, cute snores that echoed in the small, tight place.

He smiled. He was tightening his hold over them even more. Within those three years, the only moments he could spend as their father were the times like this. Away from everyone's sight. Away from everyone's judgments. He can only hold them when he's not the count that everyone looks up to.

"You know me..." he whispered, "but I am not allowed to know you."

A bitter smile decorated his face. He continued to watch over the twins while struggling to keep his emotions in check.

The only moment he can be their father - is when he is Deruth, not Count Deruth.

There are a couple of things he missed about them. Even if he wrote it down, he knew he wouldn't be able to give it back to them in his lifetime.

There were a couple of things he wanted to know, to witness, and remember until he's old, but three years - redheads trembling in that night.

He can't be a father, but he can be a friend.

He can't be their family, but he can be their company.

It reminds him that these moments are the only times he can give them security with his warmth.

He never wants them to feel like they're being left out.

Even if it's small.

He, at least, wanted them not to be afraid to grab his hand when they were scared or nervous.

He never wanted to regret anything in life.

He doesn't want to regret not doing anything to protect them during their vulnerable times until he can proudly take them in.

He promised he'd hold back his tears.

He won't cry even though it would hurt so much.

If he could stop them from leaving him, he'd promise them a future where they could live with everything they had.

"In the end, I'm still a selfish person."

**

Rok and Cale woke up the moment they got inside the carriage. Deruth was nowhere to be found, but the blanket that was prepared for the count was wrapped around them.

"Shall we go outside?" Cale asked.

"Raincoat." Rok reminded his twin and handed him the cute wolf-eared raincoat prepared by the maids beforehand.

The maids are going crazier with every design.

We're cute.

Rok added, " the perks of being a handsome kid."

Cale giggled and wore the raincoat.

Both of them hopped from the carriage and looked around, but the rain was heavy.

They walked past the camp and entered the woods, where they could hear Deruth's voice, but someone pulled them to the side. They were about to call for help when they felt the familiar touch belonging to one person.

"MOM!" they shouted in a whisper before throwing themselves into her embrace. "Missed you!"

"I missed you too!" Jour, their mother, embraced them back without the intention of ever letting them go.

"It's been three years, my cute wolflings..."

The mother and her sons spent their time cuddling despite their venue being all wet and cold.

"Grandpa?"

"Grandpa is at the village... Don't worry, we're traveling around. We're safe and healthy. How about you? We're you two behaving for your father? You're not making any trouble for him?"

"We're good!" the twins chimed while smiling brightly. "But Father doesn't know yet..."

Jour looked at them worriedly.

"Don't worry," Cale spoke, "we're going to leave soon, so there's no need to."

"We're going with you now, right?" Rok asked. It's better than spending their time in the county.

Jour crouch down and leveled herself to them, "No." she whispered, "we can't take you with us yet."

The twins looked at their mother and said, "You're not here to take us?"

She shook her head and said, "You are safer here than with us."

Rok and Cale looked at each other and looked at Jour, "but..."

"Can you stay here?" Jour asked, "Please... we'll be more assured if you stay here... it'll be better if you say that you're your father's kids."

"We can't..."

"Why?"

"He has his own family now..." Rok was the one who answered that.

Jour's eyes trembled, but she still wore a smile and said, "so you don't want to tell him?"

They shook their heads, "We don't want to destroy the family he has now."

They're outsiders. Illegitimates. Their existence will surely harm Bassen's status. That's why they didn't want to.

"We'd rather live in the street than tell him that..." Cale seconded, "Being by his side is enough."

"You are my kind-hearted chicks." Jour bitterly smiled and said, "Don't you know, when he learns it, wouldn't it be cruel?"

"That is, if we told him, after all those years."

"Yes." the twins replied without batting an eye. Jour could only smile at them.

She knew that no matter what dense or naive Deruth look like - she knew that the man wouldn't slip anything past him. She was sure that he was aware that they were his at some point.

She was sure Deruth would never let them go, even if he had to give up his happiness.

He would protect them even when he couldn't.

She caressed their cheeks and kissed their foreheads.

"When you're older... I'll come by again and take you with me, but for now, stay with him, alright?"

"Alright."

Before parting, she gave a ring to each.

"This will protect you. Don't go causing trouble now."

"Okay! Be safe!"

Jour stood up and kissed them on the cheeks, "happy birthday to you two."

"Thank you!"

"You should go now — they might be searching for you two now."

"Keep safe, mom..."

"Keep safe."

"Hm... you too."

Hearing that, the twins scurried away and returned to the carriage.

Jour was about to leave too but stopped the moment she turned around as he saw the familiar man standing before her.

"What do you think you are doing?"

Deruth's voice thundered, "JOUR THAMES!"

"Why?! Why are you doing this?!"

Jour, who had been silent, could only bow her head.

Deruth approached her and held both her shoulders, "They are mine!"

His voice was shaking, Jour had to endure it. She had to. She doesn't want the twins to see them.

"You know how long I've been searching for you?! You know my feelings, but why did you do it?"

"Deruth, you..."

"If... you're going to cast me aside, you shouldn't have said you love me." The man before her was crying, "You should've told me! Rather than leaving me hanging."

"And then what? Fight against your family?" Jour replied, "You can't protect me... so why must I suffer that!?"

Deruth didn't respond anymore.

"You're cruel," he said, his voice icy and shaking. "Five years... five years... Jour... I didn't even know they existed... I am their father."

"I just wanted to meet them. but why are you all so cruel? Why do you all keep pushing me away? I just want to be a good father, but why are you all - keeping me at a distance?" Deruth let go of her. He had fallen on his knees as if he was begging.

"What have I done for you to treat me this way?"

Jour looked at him, crying. She cried. She couldn't help but hug the man and comfort him.

"This is better..." she whispered. "That way... your family... or them... there's no one who will get hurt... I just want to spare them the pain of hoping for a family..."

She smiled bitterly, "I am cruel. Indeed, I am... but it wasn't my choice. They decided for it."

Even though Deruth knows, he can't accept the fact.

"They want to spare themselves of pain from hoping for a family they can never have."

How can't be a father to them, no matter how hard he struggled?

They're so cruel...

So cruel that's driving him insane.

"I just want to be a good father..."

He choked on his tears, finally resigning.

"But none of you, are giving me the chance."

But his words will never be conveyed no matter how much he wished for them.

He went back to the carriage after sending Jour away.

The twin is waiting for him outside while playing with the gecko that happened to pass by.

He looked at them, his eyes tearing up.

"Count!"

'Father!'

His dreams are overlapping with what's happening in front of him now. Seeing them stood up, welcoming him with open arms, and charged towards him while hugging his waist.

He wished for it.

Hopes for it.

"They want to spare themselves of pain from hoping for a family they can never have."

He went to his knees and opened his arms.

The twins were looking at him as if he lost his mind.

Yes, he's losing his mind.

Just the fact that these children are the ones that chose to keep him away - angers him.

"Count?"

Rok and Cale looked at him. They reached out their hand and cupped his cheeks, "why are you crying?"

"Am I not allowed to cry?"

Cale, "a smile suits you better."

Rok, "and scummy smirk."

Deruth cupped both their hands and kissed their palms.

"Rok... Cale..." he pulled them in his arms and embraced them tightly, "Can't I be your father?"

He finally said, waiting for the verdict in this desperate act.

He can't take it anymore.

TBC