A/N:UPDATED ON WATTPAD MARCH 25TH 2024...SORRY IT TOOK LONG TO EDIT IT TO THE AO3 VERSION.

Tsukasa had fucked up.

The group had been practicing for this show for so long, and in every practice, everything went smoothly, so why couldn't he just go out there?!

The story was about a young child who had a deadly disease and her trying to accomplish every goal she could before her death. Nene was playing the child and Emu and Rui were her friends she would meet along the way to help her with her goal. Tsukasa was the strict father who wanted the daughter to stay in the house away from any danger and interaction so she could stay alive.

It was truly an easy role, Tsukasa only had to appear a few times before leaving until the end. But something about how happily Nene sang about her dreams with Emu and Rui on stage made Tsukasa freeze behind the curtain. He was supposed to interrupt the duet and drag Nene back home, but he just couldn't bring himself to.

" Brother, will I ever be able to be like other children and go do what I want to do? Learn like them? Make friends like them? "

" Of course Saki! I will be here to entertain and make you smile until then! I won't ever leave your side! "

He gripped the curtain

It was well after when he was supposed to interrupt them, and he still couldn't bring himself to move.

"Nene-Chan! Can you sing another song with me?!"

" Brother, could you please sing to me again?.... "

" Of course Emu-Chan! "

His hands were shaking

For some reason, breathing was really hard right now.

Tsukasa looked up. Rui was staring at him with worried eyes as the girls started to perform again. He silently thanked them for being so good at improv.

" Why can't I just be normal?! I want to go out and have fun just like other children! "

One step back.

another

and another.

Until Tsukasa started sprinting away. He didn't know where he was going, but it had to be anywhere other than his friends.

Your friends aren't gonna be happy about this, you messed up a whole show!

They probably don't want anything to do with you anyway, you annoy them

Why does Rui even put up with you as a boyfriend, he's so much better than you

Are you sad? Stars can't get sad, they have to be happy always for people to look up to them.

Eventually, his jumbled-up mind had taken him home. Saki had been with her band tonight for rehearsals, so he was alone in the house.

Alone

with no one.

He stumbled into his room, shutting the door and sliding down against it.

He looked around his bland room in a panic, before attempting to walk over to the comfort of his bed.

For some reason, the walk over to his bed seemed much harder than usual, his legs shaking every step of the way.

His legs felt like weights every time he tried to move them to walk a step further, wanting to just fall over from the pressure.

Eventually, he collapsed near his bed. His legs gave out, and he fell onto his knees and hands. A sob ripped out of him, as he tried to crawl the rest of the way, only to not have the strength to do so.

He gave up trying to crawl, letting himself crash into the carpet. He curled in on himself, his whole body shaking now.

He gripped his hair, pulling at it with as much force as possible to make him forget. His head got pulled along with his hair from the force, jetting back and forth harshly on the carpet.

Once the motion of pulling his hair started to stop affecting him, he then started clawing at his head with his nails. He scratched the back of his head violently, the searing pain quieting his thoughts satisfyingly.

You're a horrible brother, you couldn't even save Saki. She's still sick and sad.

Tears started to stream down his face, dripping down onto the carpet.

Shutupshutupshutup

He found it hard to breathe, gasping for breath through his fit of tears.

He let out another blood-curdling scream, and moved his hand from the back of his head down to his arm, now scratching his arms frantically.

" Why is he so loud "

Stop it!

"You so full of yourself all the time. "

I'm sorry!

He curled in on himself impossibly even more, giving up on scratching his arms. He instead covered his ears with them, hoping silently, that every noise right now could just stop

Why do you even try to be a star? You started for Saki but it never helped her. You are no good at it either

Tsukasa failed to reply to the voice this time, but would not forget its words. He had screamed and cried until his body just couldn't anymore.

Tsukasa had tired himself out from his fit of tears, closing his eyes and falling into a hellish sleep.

When Tsukasa awoke, he immediately felt the sting of his sore throat from all his screaming earlier. He didn't care enough to lean up and check the time, so he just laid on his back on the cold floor.

He felt strange... Empty. The thoughts from earlier had not come to haunt him yet, and he found himself not caring about the stinging of his throat. The pain in his head and arms strangely didn't bother him either, it dulled out somehow.

Tsukasa didn't know what he wanted at that moment. He didn't feel sad enough to start another crying fit, and he certainly wasn't on the happier side of emotions.

Instead, his emotions just felt. Blank. Nothing influences them... Tsukasa was just.. There.

Suddenly, a bright light took hold of the dark room. Tsukasa looked over to see that it was just his phone, but the glowing was familiar to when he first got his sekai.

Tsukasa reached his arm over to grab his phone, and in the next moment his vision was filled with white, the room he was in completely Disappearing.

In the next moment, he was laying in the center of a white area, with nothingness all around him. Some bits of metal and junk lay in the surrounding area, but he found that he didn't mind it.

It felt comforting, in a strange way... It was better than the cold floor of his lonely room, and since he was in a sekai, no one would see him in such a pathetic state.

He continued staring at the sky of the strange Sekai, noticing little things. How the sky had no stars from where he was looking, and how there was no noise, only the sound of Tsukasas breathing could disturb him.

He should stand up and go home, return to saki. Maybe even see what this place is before just deciding to rest in it.

But he found that he did not care about what he needed to do and that he'd much rather stare up into the endless void like the waste of space he was. Not disturbing anyone or anything, just there.