NOTE

these next chapters were supposed to be up by like the eighteenth
but man . .
4/20 took me out. sorry 😞

SIDE NOTE

i do NOT condone relationship cheating 🙅🏽‍♀️

𝚂𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙸𝚃𝚈 ᥫ᭡
CHAPTER FIFTEEN.

𝕚 𝕒𝕚𝕟'𝕥 𝕟𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕕𝕚𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕓𝕖𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕖..

CAELYNN TAYLOR 🤍 | OCTOBER 1

𝒕𝒐𝒅𝒂𝒚 is a sunday reset day for caelynn.

she packaged orders, she took out her braids, she washed her hair and exfoliated her body, she deep cleaned her room, she gave her lashes a refill, she did her nails, and she even has plans for a healthy dinner.

she doesn't know why she's doing the last part. she just felt like if she's being productive with everything else then she could also have a productive diet . . if that makes sense.

so after she finished all of her school work, she got her tv show ready so by the time her doordash arrives, she'll be ready to eat.

netflix was her choice of the night, and since it was the first thing on her list, she decided to watch on my block while she eats.

her dasher is still ten minutes away though. so she went ahead and started the first episode of the first season.

she's already watched this entire show from start to finish probably five times now, but she loves it so why not watch it again? there isn't much else that catches her interest these days.

caelynn brought her knees up to her chin and rested her cheek on them while watching her show.

she got so deep into it that she almost didn't hear the knock on her door. "you can come in," she told whoever it is that was knocking.

nyani came inside and shut the door behind her. "i can't sleep," nyani huffed, sitting at the end of caelynn's large bed.

"join the club," caelynn joked, making nyani smile a little.

it's already eleven at night, and while that's early to caelynn, it's late for nyani. she's used to being asleep by now. but she doesn't know why sleep isn't coming to her on this particular night. maybe it's because there's too much on her mind.

so she wants to talk to someone, and apart from the fact that she could hear caelynn's tv, she already knew caelynn was awake. she's gathered that caelynn is a night owl who can literally go to sleep at six in the morning then get up an hour later at seven. she doesn't know how caelynn does it, and she's unaware that caelynn has insomnia. she just believes caelynn likes sleeping in the day time more rather than at night.

"i could never get into this show," nyani muttered once she noticed what was playing on caelynn's tv.

"why not?"

nyani lightly shrugged. she has no real reason. she just couldn't keep up with it.

they watched it in silence for a few minutes, but caelynn wasn't even watching it anymore. she was studying nyani. she could tell something's on her cousin's mind, and that's more than likely why nyani can't sleep.

perhaps if nyani gets whatever's keeping her up off of her mind, she'll be able to close her eyes in peace.

just because caelynn can't sleep doesn't mean nyani can't either.

"hold on," caelynn told nyani, pausing the show and quickly leaving her room to go grab her doordash order that was dropped off on the mini table on the front porch. she took that and her strawberry lemonade before stopping at the fridge to grab the italian olive garden dressing, just in case they forgot to add in her extra packs like she requested.

when she returned to her room, she used her foot to close the door behind her then sat back down on her bed.

fortunately for her, they didn't forget her dressing. so she drenched the sauce all over her salad and mixed it around with her fork.

caelynn shoved a forkful into her mouth and finished chewing it before looking at nyani again. "what's wrong?"

"nothing," nyani softly shook her head.

caelynn tilted her head and furrowed her brows. an expression she often makes to show her confusion. "then why can't you sleep?"

nyani paused then blew out a breath. "okay. maybe something is wrong."

she figured that was it. "do you want to talk about it?" caelynn wondered.

nyani turned so her body was fully facing caelynn's. "you won't tell anyone, right?"

"you know i won't, ny."

"okay.." nyani took in a breath before letting it out. "i think zakiar and i are going to break up soon."

oh.. caelynn frowned at the sad look on nyani's face. "why do you think that?"

"i don't know . . we just keep growing so distant, and i thought we were working on it by hanging out together more, but recently he's started distancing himself from me again and i don't know why. i don't think he even likes me anymore."

when nyani's eyes watered, caelynn's frown deepened.

caelynn is so used to other people comforting her when she's down that she's a stranger to comforting them. it feels foreign to her to not be the crying one instead.

is she supposed to hug nyani? rub her back? tell her it'll all be okay even though it might not be okay?

what does she do? she's so awkward when it comes to this.

she decided to rub nyani's back. she set her food to the side to do so, and naturally nyani started crying some more so caelynn took her hand away, thinking she did something wrong. nyani hid her face in her hands. "it's so embarrassing," she kept going, needing to vent her feelings out.

caelynn hesitantly went back to rubbing her back. "it's not embarrassing, ny. couples grow apart sometimes. that's normal—"

"caelynn, you don't understand. zakiar won't even touch me."

double oh. caelynn decided to just stay quiet after that.

"he won't kiss me, he won't be affectionate with me — he won't even hold my hand. we do everything the exact opposite of what a couple's supposed to do."

the sad part about that is this is actually noticeable. even caelynn has observed how zakiar and nyani lack the chemistry or the romance that you're supposed to hold in a relationship. she's never seen them show any kind of public display of affection — unless you count nyani laying her head on his shoulder. zakiar doesn't come over as much as he used to anymore — unless he's hanging out with the rest of his friends and it's a group hang out, but never alone with nyani.

as nyani said, they don't hold hands. at least caelynn's never seen them do it. caelynn's never even seen a kiss on the cheek from the two.

she thought it was odd, but she also minded her business about it. she just got out of her own little situation not long ago, and kai took the 'let's just be friends' talk very well because isleigh was right. he didn't want a relationship. he still wants freedom from commitment so caelynn's giving it to him.

now if caelynn gets horny again, she has no promises to herself that she won't call him up for an occasional hookup.

they're supposed to be 'just friends' but they already slept together. there's no harm in doing it again now that they both know where they stand . . right?

if that's the case, then what's the point of friends with benefits?

"aren't those signs that a boy no longer likes you?" nyani asked to make sure she's not thinking too hard about it.

caelynn knew she shouldn't lie to nyani about it and give her false hope, so she was honest when she nodded her head. "it is.."

"see? i don't know what to do anymore."

"i think you should try talking with him to see where his head's at. maybe he's just going through something . . or something." really, caelynn? this is what she means by it's awkward.

"but what if it actually ends in a breakup?"

ummm.. how is she supposed to answer that? "if you guys really like each other, then i'm sure you'll work this all out."

did that seem appropriate?

OCTOBER 6

𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚 not.

on tuesday, nyani and zakiar had their talk like caelynn suggested.

it's friday now and nyani has been down ever since.

their talk did result in a break-up, but nyani never opened up to caelynn to tell her why.

caelynn's been doing her best to be there for her cousin. because when it was caelynn down all the time, nyani was still here for her even during the times caelynn kept pushing her away. other than the fact comforting nyani is the right thing to do, caelynn also owes it to her.

she had to get past the awkwardness and learn how to genuinely make nyani feel better. caelynn's been reminiscing on her past a lot, thinking back on how she got over her own first heart break then drafting ways that she thinks could help nyani the way they helped her.

the biggest one that helped her is keeping her mind off of it, so she's keeping nyani's mind off of it.

first, she bought an extra ticket and plans to bring nyani with her to christian's game tomorrow.

second, she realized that it's kind of hard not to think about zakiar when her and zakiar have the same exact friend group. they see each other everywhere. nyani's inner circle of friends is kind of at a mix at the moment from the couple's break up.

the boys have been more around zakiar and the girls are around nyani when she allows them to be. the hardest part about sharing friends is nyani doesn't want any of them to take sides like they're doing now. they were such a tight-knit friend group. she wants to keep it that way and she even wants to keep her friendship with zakiar despite her hurt right now.

the two didn't have a bad breakup. he was nice and respectful about everything he said and nyani completely understood where he was coming from.

that's the main problem.

now she's trying to dig somewhere deep in her mind where she went wrong and what made him sidetrack off of her the way that he did.

the sooner she can find the answer to that, she feels she'll be better.

if caelynn knew that this is what nyani keeps thinking about, then she'd tell her herself there isn't anything nyani did wrong. zakiar is his own person to feel however he feels.

however, caelynn is still out of the loop with this context. so what she's been doing in tagging nyani along with her friend group. she brings her out to eat lunch with them and she thinks this has been helping with distracting nyani the most because of how goofy caelynn and her friends are.

especially the footballers.

every day they can have you clenching your sides laughing at something new.

nyani has been dying of laughter this week because of them.

caelynn is glad she's doing something right. she just wants to see nyani keep smiling. it doesn't even look right seeing her frown and cry. nyani has always been a ray of sunshine to everyone she's talked to.

she doesn't want to risk taking nyani's smile away, but the next thing that helped caelynn get over her heartbreak is facing the cause.

this part takes time depending on the intensity of one's pain.

but zakiar and nyani already see each other everywhere now. they share classes, they share friends, and their families are close. facing zakiar is inevitable. nyani just has to learn to keep facing zakiar while reminding herself that everything is okay.

it helps that their split wasn't bad and that zakiar is respectful about everything.

caelynn had an ex who was nasty about their breakup. he made her not want to ever show her face in public again. that's why facing him was so hard.

compared to her case, nyani's got a whole weight saved from off of her shoulders.

currently, nyani is with caelynn and the others at xavion's house. they're all gearing up to go to the football game.

caelynn took harlem's jersey again but didn't tie it like the other times. already, temperatures have started dropping in chicago now that fall is here. caelynn remembers saying she couldn't wait for times like this, and she doesn't regret her wish not one bit.

it's finally time for the hoodie seasons. thanksgiving, halloween, pumpkin carvings, horror movies. then into december for winter: christmas movies, christmas, hot chocolates . . oh and the biggest one yet: her birthday.

"you want a jersey?" caelynn asked nyani. "i think yannis has an extra on him."

yannis heard caelynn and went to his bag to look and see if he brought his. he did, so he pulled it out and tossed it over to the girls.

nyani smiled while putting it on. "thank you."

the group consisting of caelynn, nyani, the five footballers, essence, dehja, santayla, navae and brycier split between different cars to get to the school's stadium.

nyani slowly relaxed the more she hung around brycier again. he wasn't treating her any differently or even acknowledging the split in front of her face, so she was glad for that.

they sat together in the stands and caelynn stuck by navae for the most part until the rest of nyani's and brycier's friends arrived. she glanced at nyani when zakiar started walking up, and although she tried to keep the smile on her face, caelynn could tell nyani was faking it.

zakiar could tell too so he only briefly stopped by to greet everyone then he walked higher up the steps to sit with his other friends.

nyani's shoulders fell in relief.

that was all caelynn needed to see to know nyani isn't ready to face her problems just yet.

OCTOBER 13

𝒄𝒂𝒆𝒍𝒚𝒏𝒏 paused outside of nyani's door before raising her fist and lightly knocking. nyani paused the youtube video she was watching and lifted her head from her pillow to go answer her door, seeing caelynn standing on the other side. "hey.." caelynn greeted, "i just wanted to know if you wanted to go out to eat with me. i'm bored here . . and then we can go to a haunted house and come back here to watch the jason collection because of . . ya know . . friday the thirteenth.."

friday the thirteenth may not be a holiday, but it's crazy with how caelynn treats it like it is. all superstitions about the date aside, she just loves the eerie behind it. the fact that it's october makes it so much better to her.

she's weird like that.

she also felt weird being the one to knock on nyani's door asking her to come out with her. it's usually the other way around. she's never done this before.

nyani couldn't help but smile at the effort.

caelynn has been helping her get over this breakup more than anyone, and caelynn doesn't even know what she's doing one-hundred percent.

"yeah," nyani agreed. "let me just grab my purse."

"great, okay," caelynn perked up. she doesn't know why she was expecting a no. her and nyani aren't the same.

when nyani returned, she followed caelynn out of the house and into the waiting uber.

the uber dropped them off at a strip where there were shopping stores, entertainment centers and restaurants alike. nyani looped her arm through caelynn's and let her lead them around even though she's the one from chicago and not caelynn.

she missed hanging out with caelynn like this. just them two and no one else — just like old times. at least something is going back to normal.

"you still like seafood, right?" caelynn asked to be sure. she had been eyeing the seafood restaurant since they passed it.

nyani nodded, so the two girls went inside the busy restaurant.

they had to wait about five minutes for staff to get a booth prepped and cleaned for them, but after the short wait, caelynn and nyani were sitting across from each other and looking over the menu.

their waitress came to get them started with drinks and appetizers, and caelynn ordered water and steamed oysters. nyani's face unintentionally scrunched a bit. caelynn laughed at her face. nyani realized what she did and quickly fixed her face, ordering herself a strawberry lemonade and no appetizer.

the waitress then asked if they still needed time to look over the menu, but caelynn had already picked out what she wanted for her entree and dessert. "can i get the lemon cajun snow crab combo?" caelynn kindly requested.

"sure thing. for you?"

"the same thing, but with just the lemon," nyani replied.

then she took their menus and went to go put their orders in to the cooks.

"you sure you didn't want an appetizer?" caelynn questioned. "even if you don't finish all of the food, we can still get to-go boxes." that's what she's going to do.

nyani shook her head. "i don't want to spend too much money on food again."

"i'm paying, ny."

"you don't have to, caelynn. i can pay."

"no, i am. i brought you. that's the rule."

"that's a rule?"

"yeah," caelynn nodded, "isn't it normal for the person who invited the other to pay?"

oh, right.. nyani's mind is just elsewhere.

the waitress came back with drinks. caelynn and nyani smiled as their thanks. "so if i hadn't of come, would you be eating alone right now?"

"yeah," caelynn answered simply.

"you weren't going to invite any of your other friends?"

"no. sometimes i like my own company. i eat alone a lot when i want to. it's more peaceful."

"that's nice.."

caelynn chuckled as she thought of something else. "besides . . i like treating myself to 'big back' activities." as her baltimore friends would tell her. her back isn't big whatsoever. but with the way she eats, her form amazes them. caelynn even has a photo album in her phone dedicated strictly for her food. she just loves to eat delicious food. who doesn't love food?

nyani laughed at that, making caelynn smile. nyani leaned her chin on her palm and sipped her lemonade. "back in the summer, would you have said yes to hang out if we were alone?" is that why caelynn kept turning her down back then? is that where nyani went wrong?

"probably not," caelynn shamefully admitted. "back then, i was so used to doing everything alone that i thought i could keep using my own company. . and i always thought you pitied me—"

"i didn't."

"yeah, i know that now," caelynn reassured her. "it was just in my head. you were one of the ones who pulled me out of that. being by yourself is nice and all, but there are times when you really do need to be around someone. i never thanked you for that. so thank you."

just in her head.. nyani thought to herself.

she kept that in her mind.

caelynn's oysters finally came out. she squeezed one of her lemons over it and dabbed some hot sauce before raising it up to her mouth, noticing nyani's stare. "you wanna try one?"

nyani shook her head so fast.

"it's good. i swear."

"no thank you." nyani leaned her head far away when caelynn held it out towards her.

and that was one of the reasons why the two girls were all giggles for the remainder of the night.

.
.

ᥫ᭡