"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait a minute!" Abe shouted up at the ceiling. "Haven't we already told these stories already? Why are we doing this again?!"
"Well, if Capcom can do it, why can't we?" the Author responded. "Besides, whenever I go back and reread the old edition, I always see a bunch of things I could've written better. Our audience -and readers- deserves high quality entertainment, right?"
"Well, yeah, but don't you think having two versions of the same story will be a little confusing?" Abe pointed out. "I mean, you could at least begin this new story with an Author's Note!"
"What's the point of that? The core ideas of these stories are still the same," the Author responded. "Jaune and Adam are still Dante and Vergil, it all still takes place after the Fall of Beacon, all that stuff is still the same. I'm just retelling it in a way that's more 'canon compliant,' to an extent."
"Okay, but even if your readers will put up with this, what makes you think I will? I'm sick of RWBY and Devil May Cry!" Abe said fiercely, folding his arms across his chest. "Find somebody else to host your crossover of cheap drama and repetitive action, because I refuse!"
"Oh, come on, Abe," the Author sighed. "This rewrite will be fun! It'll still be an exciting, suspenseful story, with some new stuff to enjoy, as well. I promise!"
"And give me one good reason why I should care about any of that," Abe stated flatly.
"I could write this so that you have a different wife this time," the Author mentioned casually.
"...Okay, I'm in."
~GRIMM MAY CRY~
"Ow!"
"Oof!"
"Hey, watch it!"
"Wait, what is this place?"
"Where are we?!"
"You know, it's funny," Yang commented as she pushed Blake's bottom off of her face, "but I kinda feel like this has all happened to us before. You know what I'm saying?"
"Oh, great, now Yang is concussed," Weiss sighed as she stood up and dusted herself off, unintentionally stepping on Ruby's stomach in the process, causing her team leader to wheeze. "That is just one more problem we will have to worry out after I finish wringing Nora's neck!"
"Hey, come on, Weiss!" Nora whined, as she pulled Ren onto his feet by the back of his shirt. "It's not like I meant to agitate that rare blend of wormhole Dust your sister entrusted you with. Sometimes people just sneeze!"
"Yes, but you failed to even cover your mouth beforehand!" Weiss practically shrieked at her. "And now we have been teleported to God-knows-where all because of your lack of public courtesy!"
"I am what I am," Nora said simply, shrugging her shoulders.
"Cheer up, Weiss!" Ruby declared, giving her teammate her best fake-smile. "It's not all bad! Even if we're all trapped in the darkest depths of H-E-double-hockey-sticks, it won't be so bad, as long as we're all together!"
"If that's even where we are right now," Blake stated. "I didn't think the underworld would be this... domesticated." She gestured to their surroundings, which looked less like a raging inferno of eternal damnation and more like a typical suburban living room. There was a small coffee table with a box of tissues and coasters, surrounded a couch, a recliner, and a couple of large, plump beanbags, all of which faced a giant 75-inch television, which had a couple video game consoles hooked up to it.
"Well, wherever we've been teleported, at least it seems to be in civilization," Pyrrha stated. "That means it should be fairly easy to find someone who can give us information about where we are, right Jaune?" There was no reply. "Jaune?" It was then that everyone became aware of the disturbing lack of Jaune in the room.
"Well, that seems about right," Ren said quietly.
"Oh, no! We lost our Fearless Leader!" Nora wailed. "Poor Jaune, out there lost and afraid all alone in... in... somebody else's house down the street," her dramatic lament trailed off, as she looked out the window. "Okay, so maybe he's not in danger, but he's still lost!"
"Then we need to find him!" Ruby determined. "Vomit Boy is out there lost and alone, and that ain't gonna fly! Now, where to begin our search?"
"Uh, back at Beacon?" Blake suggested. "I think I heard him say something about using the bathroom right before Nora sneezed open a wormhole."
"Well, at least we know he's safe, then," Pyrrha said with relief.
"But then where does that leave us?" Weiss demanded. "We could be literally anywhere in Remnant right now!"
"Well, maybe we could ask whoever lives here where?" Ruby suggested. "I think they'd be able to tell us!"
"Provided they do not call the police and have us all arrested first," Ren pointed out. "Accidental or not, we are essentially trespassing at the moment."
"Ah, I'm sure we'll be fine!" Yang waved a hand. "Video game characters barge into people's houses unannounced all the time, so why can't we?"
"You know very well that video games and reality do not-"
"Okay! We have ourselves a plan!" Ruby grinned, cutting of the rest of Weiss's rebuke. She turned to Blake. "Do you think you could use your super hearing cat ears to locate the owner of this place?"
"No need," Blake stated, pointing behind her. "There's a light on in that room at the end of that hall."
"Then what're we waiting for?!" Nora exclaimed. "Let's go!" And with that, she led the march down the darkened hallway to the open door at the end, where a dim light leaked through. All seven Beacon Academy students poked their heads past the doorframe to see what was in the room.
There before them was a queen-sized bed with a nightstand on each side. The lamp on the left nightstand was the source of the light, while the other nightstand's lamp remained off, a few fashion magazines stacked next to it. A laundry basket rest at the foot of the bed, half-full of dirty clothes. A pair of thick curtains covered the room's window, and a large dresser right next to the doorway blocked most of the other side of the room from vision. There was a large lump on the right side of the bed, signifying someone was asleep there, but what drew their attention was the bed's other occupant.
A young man -probably around the same age as Adam, if Blake had to guess- was sitting up in the bed, using a pair of pillows to support his back. A video game controller was in his hands, and a pair of headphones rested atop his curly, brown hair. His eyes were narrowed, focused intently on the small TV resting atop a bookshelf off to their right, which was displaying some video game that Yang could not think of the name for. When his character died, the young man groaned, setting down his controller and folding his arms across his bare chest. Then he finally noticed the seven Beacon Academy students staring at him.
"Oh, you're here," he said to them. "I wasn't expecting you until morning." The young man stretched and yawned. "Well, let's get this show on the road. Mind giving me some privacy? I mean, unless you don't mind the sight of a guy in his underwear..." He began to slide out of bed, and that's when Weiss, with her face burning red and her hands over her eyes, took the cue to lead the panicked scramble back to the living room.
~GRIMM MAY CRY~
"So, what you're saying is that in your world, our reality is nothing but a web series full of interesting ideas but it keeps coming up with new ones while never fleshing out the ones it already has and ends up being a big, convoluted mess. Is that basically what you're saying?" Nora asked Abe, as the homeowner (now thankfully wearing a bathrobe) stood before them in the living room.
"Pretty much," Abe confirmed.
"Sheesh, you know someone's goofed up when even the author of Blake's trashy smut can tell a better story," Yang said with scoff.
"Hey!"
"I happened to notice that despite the show being called 'RWBY,' it sounds as though Jaune is the one getting all the attention," Weiss commented. "Why is that? I thought we were supposed to be the protagonists."
"Well, I think it's because the writers have a bias towards him, regardless of what they say," Abe explained. "It's more understandable in fanfiction, though, as he makes for the perfect blank slate to use for different ideas and roles."
"Wait, we have fanfiction written about us?" Ruby demanded, as her silver eyes lit up with wonder. "THAT IS SO COOL!!!"
"So Jaune is used as the main protagonist in fanfiction as well?" Ren asked. Abe nodded.
"Yes. The quality varies, but there's some stories out there that are honestly better than the canon events of your show," he admitted.
"So, do you write any?" Blake asked. Abe froze.
"You totally do, don't you?" Nora grinned. "Come on, I wanna read it!"
"Well..." Abe said, as he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, "Actually, it's more of an animation."
"So you made a full-on cartoon about us?" Yang demanded, giving him a sly look. "Let me guess: it's a harem anime with plenty of fan service. Not that I mind, I know how much boys like my-"
"Yang!"
"What, Blake?" the Blonde Brawler grinned at her partner cheekily. "Afraid of having some gratuitous shots of your assets in there as well?" This caused Blake's face to turn bright red.
"As if her regular puns were not bad enough," Weiss groaned, her own cheeks tinged pink from the audacity of her teammate.
"Well, if he does have a harem, then that means Jaune's also a ridiculously overpowered badass who trivializes every fight he's in," Nora declared. "Which would be awesome to witness! Right, Pyrrha?" Now Pyrrha was blushing too.
"Well..."
"You know, instead of speculating about it, we could just have Abe show us the animation," Ren pointed out. "That is, if he does not have a problem with this." He turned to their host. "Do you?"
"No, not at all," Abe said, shaking his head. "I will warn you, though, that this footage contains scenes of explicit violence and gore. That isn't a problem, is it?" Seven pairs of eyes stared at him blankly.
"Abe, we're Huntsmen-in-training," Ruby reminded him. "Seeing things get dismembered is hardly new to us."
"Fair point," Abe conceded. "Well then, get comfortable, everyone! I'll just grab my discs, pop some popcorn, and we'll get this party started!" Abe moved to the kitchen. Yang, Pyrrha, Blake, and Ren all moved to sit on the couch. Nora quickly flopped herself onto one of the bean bags, and Ruby claimed the other one. This left the recliner for Weiss, much to her satisfaction. And so, everyone settled in, prepared to watch Grimm May Cry: Awakening.